Post # 16
MexiPino: i know my brother plays it up like it’s gonna be such a magical night and i give him the look. then he goes oh im kidding baby sister I’m your brother i wouldn’t let him do anything crazy. Yeah or both your asses are in the dog house! So funnyy Fiance and i were talking about that thread yesterday too. We were actually on our way to our eshoot. It’s always good to get the guys prospective. WB can make for some good conversations at home.
Post # 17
The topic has never really come up. Fiance went to a cabin with a bunch of guys for his friend’s bachelor party, and a bunch of guys left to go to a strip club an hour away (without the groom), and my Fiance didn’t go nor had any interest in going. He really doesn’t ever have an interest, and I don’t know how I would feel if he suddenly did. I would probably be surprised that he wants to go, if anything.
Post # 18
BlondeeBee: I’ve been to more strip clubs than he has (although that’s not hard as he’s never been to one). I don’t see the harm in going occasionally. But then I’m also fine with porn, am complete ok with the fact that other people are attractive and think having opposite gender friends is important. I know he would never do anything which is all that matters
Post # 19
This is such a confusing topic for me.
One one hand, I want to be totally breezy and fine with it. I trust my SO not to do anything he thinks might hurt me or make me uncomfortable.
But on the other hand, my own insecurities make me feel very uncomfortable with the idea of him going and looking at live naked bodies (which is why porn doesn’t bother me – those women aren’t right in front of him).
Basically, I want him to want to not go.
He couldn’t care less. He’s been to them before, but if he never went to another one he’d be totally fine.
Post # 20
vanessa1359: Absolutely. There have been some really sticky threads where I’m like “Well crap. I don’t know what I would do.” or “We’ve never even talked about that issue!” and it’s made for some really good, important conversations. And there’s always the ones where some dude is acting super sketchy and the girl doesn’t see it and thinks all us women are just being crazy and I read it to my Fiance and he’s like “Yeah. That guy is cheating.” like there’s just no question. He’ll actually get pissed sometimes because he can’t imagine why people put up with some of this behavior.
Post # 21
Strip clubs in our hometown are pretty harmless. We’ve gone together/with a group a friends a few times and I see nothing wrong with it. I think I would be slightly more hesitant in a place like Vegas where anything goes – but I still trust my man so I would never forbid him from going.
Post # 22
Strip clubs in my area are pretty silly. There is no touching and most of the girls are really out of shape. It’s a big waste of money. Even private party strippers are sub par. Most stories I hear are pretty innocent and laugh out loud funny. When i let my mind wonder its kinda gross what could happen, but feel like we have clear guidelines in our relationship whats ok and what is not. A lapdance (no touching) is as far as I would consider ok. Anything that exposes you to contracting the flu or worse NOT
Post # 23
I didn’t pick a poll option because it would be more, He doesn’t want to go, bit id be ok with it if he did. I don’t have an issue with Strip Clubs, they’re not my bag. Darling Husband only ever went for bachelor parties or once for a buddies birthday party. Recently he went out with a bunch of guys from work, and they ended up at the strip club, before I knew it, Darling Husband was home. He said even though he doesn’t go out with the guys much and he wants to hang out, he just can’t do the strip club thing anymore. He just grew out of it at some point. Not that he went much to begin with….
I respect that he came to that decision on his own without me saying ‘you can’t’ or ‘I don’t want you to’. It shows me that he doesn’t go because he doesn’t want to/enjoy it.
Although when he declines the invite to the strip club now, somehow the guys text me and say ‘come on, let me him come!’ And I’m like, guys, it’s not me… And I can’t force him to go, if he doesn’t want to lol
Post # 24
I don’t care if he wants to go. He puts stricter regulations on himself then I do. I have very little interest in mandating what he can/can’t do. It’s his life. I don’t want to be in a relationship where my partner toes the line because I put the line there. If my partner would sleep with other women if I didn’t care what does that say about how he feels about our relationship? My partner doesn’t cheat on me because he only wants to be with me not because he’s “respecting boundaries.” I trust that if he went to a strip club it would be for the entertainment, shock, and novelty; not because he’s trying to get off with a stripper.
That being said, my guy has no interest in strip clubs.
Post # 25
It hasn’t come up since we’ve been together, but I think he said he’s been to a strip club once when he was younger and didn’t really care for it.
If there was a situation where he was invited to a strip club today, I don’t think he’d want to go. I also wouldn’t be okay with him going to a strip club. I just don’t think it’s an appropriate place for a married man to be.
I’ll never understand why people go to strip clubs right before they get married. I’ve seen countless threads here from women who have been really hurt after finding out things that happened at their fiances’ bachelor parties. No thanks.
Post # 26
- Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016
Thankfully my Fiance isn’t really into this sort of thing, because I readily admit I am NOT okay with it. It’s not a matter of trust. I know he wouldn’t try anything stupid, but these workers are paid to be sexy and appealing to their customers. I don’t know them and they sure as hell don’t care about me. I don’t know what they will or won’t do. There are already enough sexy images of half naked women out in the world as it is, interacting with one up close and personal (that isn’t me), crosses a line.
Post # 27
My fiancé has never been and has no desire to. I don’t have a problem with strip clubs in general (I’ve been to them and i don’t Have any strong feelings one way or another).
If he did change his mind and suddenly want to go, I would be more concerned with a sudden change of character and who his new friends are.
Post # 28
Darling Husband has never expressed any interest in going to strip clubs since we’ve been together, but I know he used to go a lot in college (as did I). He has expressed to me that they do nothing for him now and he sees them as a waste of money. I wouldn’t mind if he wanted to go as part of an outing with friends or something, as I don’t find anything inherently threatening about strip clubs. But if it became habitual, we might have to have a talk.
Post # 29
- Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman
He has never been to one and has no interest in them but if he was invited for a bachelor party or something I wouldn’t discourage him from going. I’m not okay with lap dances or regular visits (meaning just for the sake of going) but I understand that sometimes people get invited and he’s a grown man who makes his own decisions. I personally think he would decline the invitation though as its just not his scene, hes an introvert and hates any kind of loud nightlife and has also expressed that he finds the idea weird and demeaning.
Post # 30
MexiPino: vanessa1359: I read that thread title and OP’s post to Fiance last night and the first words out of his mouth were, “he didn’t get a hand job. He got a blow job.” Yikes. I feel so bad for that woman.