(Closed) strip clubs

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
8470 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@gelaine22:  damn…thanks for the tip! 

Post # 33
Hostess
7556 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@kes18:  Agreed.

Are you sure you want to marry this man, OP? You sure seem to look down on him. 

Post # 34
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I was a stripper in NYC. As soon as any man walks into the stage room, a stripper will see him as a source of income and nothing more.

Fleet Week 2011: A strapping young sailor sought out to rescue me from my depraved ways, lol. Not really. We just hit it off (and no, we didn’t meet in the club) and when the idea of being serious came up, he said he was uncomfortable with me giving lapdances to other men and being groped by them in the back rooms. So I quit, but that means it goes both ways.

Post # 35
Member
5161 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

Why do you assume that women who don’t get all upset about strippers must be faking it to “be cool” or “cute”? 

I don’t need to be cool to impress my husband. I just need to be honest. My husband is an adult. I do not need to “wake him up” because he is not an idiot or a puppy dog that needs training. We have a relationship built on trust, honesty, and respect. He actually has not gone to any strippers since we have been together, but not because I forbid him. Just because he has not. He has before, as have I, and if he wanted to again, it would be fine with me as we are forthright and respectful about our boundaries. He is completely faithful and I would trust him in a hot tub full of naked woman. That does not make me naive, it just means we have such a relationship.

And the whole “permitting and allowing” thing? What happened to equal partners instead of being one another’s possessors?

Post # 36
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Genuinely, I’m wondering if OP is making an account and having this as their first post because they just lost the “battle” against the groomsman, and OP’s SO is off to a strip club, which OP is now upset about and wanting to rant.

I couldn’t imagine any other reason for this randomness. Talk about bitter…

OP, if you didn’t want him to go, you probably should have sat him down and had a heart to heart about the issue. You most certainly do not need to have the same opinion as other women who don’t mind their SO going, but you should probably handle it with some honesty, tact, and sincerity.

Post # 37
Member
4371 posts
Honey bee

You have a very condescending view of both men and women. It must suck to live in your world. No one needs your “help.” In fact, no one asked you.  Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. 

Post # 38
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Uhhh… *headtilt*

Post # 39
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

OP I would question why you are even contemplating marrying a man if you have such a low opinion of them and their helplessness and how they ruin everything.

And if you want to create a supportive environment how about not bashing other women’s choices, basically calling them trash and insinuating that their relationships are somehow not ok.

Post # 40
Member
3400 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I don’t entirely disagree with the OP.

I would NEVER be supportive of my Fiance going to a strip club. In fact, it may literally be grounds for our relationship to end. It is so disrespectful to watch other naked women shake their tail in your face.

If something like this happened outside of a strip joint, it would never be okay with most women, but somehow because it happens in an establishment, it’s supposed to be acceptable. I can just imagine the argument “She took all of her clothes off and danced in front of me, but I didn’t touch, so it was okay!” That would simply not fly with anybody I can think of, and certainly not me.

I’m not going to go on a lenghty tirade on how strippers are terrible people, because some of them genuinely are kind and just trying to make a buck. But I do find it offensive that some people don’t see anything wrong with the fact that they get paid to shake their lady bits in our men’s faces. There is nothing respectable in that.

And as far as other woman letting their husbands/fiances do it, I only care in the sense that if more of us stood up against this disrespect, there wouldn’t be as much pressure for men to do it with all their friends. Other than that, I could care less what other women are okay with their husbands doing.

Post # 41
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MrsWBS:  HAHAHAAHAHAHAH! FOR REAL. I read this one and thought the poster was joking.

Post # 42
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

How exactly is it disrespectful for a man to go look at a grown woman, taking her clothes off by choice? I’m actually looking for a real answer, I think you’re all overreacting.

I couldn’t imagine the look of amusement on my fiance’s face if I started to tell him what he can and cannot do. Not to mention, the complete and utter horror he would feel inside knowing that he’s entering into a life with a completely bossy, prude.

Girls aren’t pretending to be ok with strippers to be cool or cute, they’re ok with strippers because any confident, self respecting woman would be. I could care less if my fiance goes to a strip club, they may have nice bodies and dance around all sultry, but I’m confident in the fact that my fiance loves me for alot more than my body and the way I can take off my clothes.

Calm down. You sound clinically insane.

Post # 43
Member
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I personally could careless if he went to a strip club and had a lap dance. I dont see it as anything but what it is entertainment, because there are some of us that dont feel the need to restrict our mates that it somehow minimizes the fact that we are in a loving relationship.

It doesnt lessen our support for other women and some of us are very progressive thinkers and some of us may even go to the strip club themselves. Whatever the reason we choose it doesnt take away from women who feel a certain way about it.

Post # 44
Member
4856 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I took my best friend to a club for his bachelor party, with his now- wife’s permission. It was disgusting. Men yelling things like “come ‘ere baby, I wanna smell ya!!” and taking pictures with ho ha’s in the background. Pounding on the stage… ugh. The whole place stunk like a gym. All the while, there’s this girl who’s like.. 19. There were other bachelor parties there. Those lap dances are far from innocent. Lots of the guys I work with have horror stories about the groom getting so drunk he’s basically out and getting BJ’s and crap like that. 

I looked out for my friend, but the mob mentality going on in those places was very unsettling. I could see how a large group of guys, surrounded by other groups of guys are going to be able to get even a good guy to make dumbass decisions. 

 

Post # 45
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@AClue:  your post is kind of weird but i do think women on this site talk themselves into being super cool and just come off as a doormat. strip clubs, porn, opposite sex bffs. it just sounds like you dont have a backbone or standards, not like your a super cool girl for not caring. And calling girls with higher standards “jealous” and “insecure” is another thing that peeves me. 

Post # 46
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@KC-2722:  Girls aren’t pretending to be ok with strippers to be cool or cute, they’re ok with strippers because any confident, self respecting woman would be. I could care less if my fiance goes to a strip club, they may have nice bodies and dance around all sultry, but I’m confident in the fact that my fiance loves me for alot more than my body and the way I can take off my clothes.

 

Thank you. I’m so sick of hearing how I’m “pretending”. I genuinely don’t give two craps about strip club. I refuse to work myself into frenzy trying to control my partners eyes, thoughts, and I’ll be damned if he does it to me. We trust each other. We are independent adults who can be control ourselves around the opposite sex and have *faint* friendships. If it doesn’t work for you, own it- but you can’t tell me what I’m comfortable with. I have no reason to pretend to be cool. I am cool.

 

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