Post # 62
@roweboat: I totally agree with you. I couldn’t imagine being so petty and controlling that I had to tell my Fiance what he could and could not do.. It goes without saying that he doesnt spend alot of time at strip clubs, I don’t need to enforce rules the odd time he does. Or think that it someone makes me have less respect for myself, if anything it gives me more because I’m strong enough to let a grown man act like one.
@kris325: should note that secure women do not need to tell their SO what they can and cannot do. Bottom line, my Fiance can do whatever he pleases, I respect him and our relationship enough to know that I am not his mother and it’s not my place to police his behavior. So no I don’t tell my partner not to cheat on me, you’re delusional if you think that it’s necessary. How about choosing someone who respects you and those types of things go without saying? Bossy, naggy, controlling women are the ones who end up divorced.
Post # 63
@KC-2722: Yeah, I just can’t function in a relationship like that, can’t imagine that I’d even want to. I’ve gone to strip clubs with my Darling Husband, and it’s really no big deal. As long as we are open with each other and there’s not any lying going on, I don’t really see the problem, ya know?
Post # 64
@roweboat: Me too! It goes the other way too, I would not be ok with my Fiance telling me what I’m allowed to do and what I’m not. I don’t find it to be a big deal either, it’s actually kind of fun to go to a strip club with your SO. Maybe if half the people on these boards have been inside one, they’ll realize that it’s not all that bad!! We trust each other and talk openly, there’s nothing better than that!
Post # 65
@KC-2722: Yep, that’s the way I try to think about things..Would I want my Darling Husband telling me what to do? Nope.
Post # 66
@KC-2722: If there is something you are not OK with in a relationship you say it up front. No surprises. And in the beginning of the relationship you discuss if it’s monogomous or if it’s casual or what is going on. You lay ground rules. You find a man who meets your needs and you continue from there. You have an issue with a man who doesn’t work, you make sure you find a man who works and works hard. You have an issue with a man who leaves the toilet seat up, you find a man who does this and go on. It’s picking your standards and sticking with them. And it’s not to be bossy, it’s to let them know ahead of time the behavior that will not be tolerated within a relationship. This discussion SHOULD be made before even thinking about marriage or both people are up for a great deal of dissappointment. We all should have a discussion with the person we intend to spend our lives with, and that discussion involves things that are ok and not ok within a relationship. Discussion is how a healthy relationship grows.
I didn’t force him to do anything,he has a choice. His choice is that he respects me and doesn’t do certain things or we move on with our lives. I respect him in important issues with this relationship and I demand respect myself. It’s not bossy, it’s knowing I deserve to be respected.
As far as divorce goes, nearly 3/4ths of all marriages end in divorce. When you get married the large majority of the people getting married don’t sit there and think “I’m making this commitment but will cheat on my spouse in a few years” but they do it anyways. And why do they do this? Many reasons but they put themselves in situations where they can, and eventually do. My husband and I both agree that we will not do this. We will not ever be alone in a house with the opposite sex unless it’s family, we will not go to a place for the intention of seeing nude people, we will not invite other nude people into our home. And we have a honest, open and secure relationship where neither of us questions the others commitment. There is no need to snoop, there is no questioning, there is trust. We are open and we are honest. I am not going to sit there and swallow this huge pill and be resentful of my husband while he is out at a strip club with another woman. I deserve better than that
And women as a whole deserve better than to expect our spouses to want to be with other women, to want to see other women nude, and to check out anything with legs that walks past.
You ask my husband and he will tell you, he is perfectly happy and content within our relationship. I do not check up on him because I do trust him. However I do ask questions when I want to know the answers, he!! yes I asked him about his bachelor party, but do I nag him about every single detail, do I get angry because a female was present or anything of the sort? No.
I honestly have no clue how someone could be so incredibly judgemental about someone not wanting their husbands to be around nude women. It’s not being a “prude” it’s not being his mother, it’s not being insecure… It’s respecting yourself enough to not tolerate something that makes you uncomfortable.
Post # 67
I am totally not okay with my Fiance going to a place with nude women, and I am also not a prude.
I also don’t judge women who are okay with their husbands going. It doesn’t make them bad people, it just makes us different.