Post # 1
Like many of you, my Fiance and I live together and already have a majority of what we need. I had looked into Honeyfund sites and they are expensive and take a considerable portion out of gifts. Also, a lot of what is said on these forums about them is that they are rude, especially to the older generation. However, I talked to my mom (over 60 and computer illiterate) and she thought it was an amazing idea and said many of her friend’s kids have done the same. So I made one but then deleted it. (I also have two small retail registries too)
I found an alternative that is cheaper. My wedding website is through SquareSpace and for businesses that use them to make websites, they use Stripe for payments (similar to PayPal). There is still a credit card processing fee (2.5% or something like that paid by us) but no fee/upfront charge to maintain the honeyfund website or eliminate ads or whatever. I am having it similar to honeyfund where you can give towards specific experiences on our honeymoon.
Is this more or less rude? More or less trustworthy?
The registry is on our wedding website (takes multiple clicks to get to the actual page, not on the navigation), “check-out” looks like most online retailers, and I have a note at the bottom explaining that it does not actually make reservations. So my question is, as a guest, would you trust my cash registry that I made myself more or one from a separate website that you have heard of but likely takes out some fees for hosting the registry.
Anyway I can make it better or less rude? Personally, as a guest, I love honeymoon registries since I think a couple can get a lot more out of experiences than a physical object. Also, my guests know how much we love traveling and that anytime we travel, we do so in hostels and eat as cheap as possible. We want our honeymoon to be the one trip we really go all out on.
Has anyone used SquareSpace’s Stripe before for creating their own cash registries?
Post # 2
I’d prefer Honeyfund because I’ve actually heard of it, but personally, I find blatantly asking for money to be rude regardless of which service is used.
Post # 3
+1 on preferring Honeyfund because I’ve actually heard of it. But I don’t like honeymoon funds and wouldn’t contribute to it anyway. I always give cash at a wedding so I don’t see the need for anything that takes even a small percentage of that.
Post # 4
Still rude. Not more or less rude, just rude. If you had a small registry, I would get the picture and give you a check.
Post # 5
amm6257 : I wouldn’t trust a website I hadn’t heard of with my credit card or debit card information or my personal info. If you and your Fiance already live together and don’t have a registry, I’d sooner put cash or a cheque in a card than gift you something on a site I’m unfamilar with.
Post # 6
I’d stick with Honeyfund or not do the honeymoon registry. It would make me nervous to input my CC on a website I wasn’t familiar with.
I also don’t get the “Honeyfund is so rude. You’re asking for money.” Okay…then don’t have a registry. That’s asking for gifts. *rolls eyes*
Post # 7
amm6257 : I wouldn’t use any site – cash registries make my eye twitch. If there is no registry I always give a check. If I ever encountered a registry that was only for money I’d probably mail you a toaster (just kidding, I’d want to do that, but in reality I’d likely just skip the wedding).
Post # 8
I think honeyfunds are smart. The tradition of moving directly from your parents home in with a spouse is becoming less common. Many people live on their own and build an inventory of belongings for years prior to marriage. I for one do not need more stuff. However who couldn’t benefit from a fund?
Post # 9
Just don’t register, or register for a few things for those people (usually older relatives) who insist on giving a boxed gift. People will get the hint.
I’d rather give someone money directly instead of having a company with a cutesy name a cut of the dough.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE
I find honeyfunds to be somewhat rude. Gift registries are technically asking for gifts, yes, BUT gifts are traditionally given at weddings, so really gift registries are just specifying the items you want, if they were going to get you a gift. There will always be people who go off the registry and give random gifts anyway. If you don’t want gifts, and do want money, just don’t register. People will get the hint. Anyone who doesn’t will include a gift receipt if they’re smart.
Like others said, with a website honeyfund, some of the money goes to the website, which seems rather wasteful to me.
Post # 11
Did not realize that a majority of people hated honeymoon registries that much.
ironmaidelah : That was my thought process for why I wanted to do it on my own site and accept donations through there, no portion is going to maintain the website. For when, when going to a wedding, I like giving the gift in advance (in my opinion, it is easier than getting cash from ATM or writing a check)
LilliV : My wedding is fairly small (100) and all of the guests are family or know us very well. I highly doubt someone would be offended enough by it not to come since they know our personalities and that we aren’t just begging for money. If they did skip the wedding for that reason, then I am glad they won’t be there, because in my opinion, that is very rude.
Post # 12
ElephantAndTheFlea : No portion of it is going to any website because it is my own website. I was wondering if this idea is any better than the typical gift registry because there is no fees associated.
I think I might just keep it up and if no one contributes to it then that is fine, but if someone does then great. They will get a lovely thank you note with a photo of us doing the fun experience they contributed to.
Post # 13
amm6257 : Declining an invitation is never rude – if they told you the reason then THAT would be rude. I’ve been invited to events that I thought were tacky for one reason or another and so I just send my regrets, no need to tell them that I found some aspect of their plans distasteful.
Post # 14
amm6257 : No one needs to be told to give you a gift or how to give it. People are quite aware that gifts are commonly given to the couple getting married, and capable of choosing something themselves.
Post # 15
amm6257 : so directly asking for money is tacky. that said, i alwasy give money anyway and i’d be fine with Stripe/Venmo/PayPaling it to you. I refuse to use Honeyfund because I don’t want to pay a service – I want the entirety of my gift to go to the couple. So I’d prefer Stripe over Honeyfund. That said, I’d likely just put a check in a card at the end of the day.