(Closed) Stripper: What Would You Do?

posted 4 years ago in Parties
  • poll: What Would You Do?
    Tell DH, and watch the show from afar (upsetting him, and hoping he'd understand) : (54 votes)
    50 %
    Tell DH and sit in the other hotel room alone (possibly upsetting the bride & and being a lame-o) : (33 votes)
    30 %
    Don't tell DH and watch from afar and "behave". : (6 votes)
    6 %
    Don't tell DH, and try to enjoy the whole thing like a good MOH. : (7 votes)
    6 %
    Other? [please explain] : (9 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    750 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    Do you know for sure that he would be upset? I voted “Tell DH and watch the show from afar (upsetting him),” but I don’t think you should do anything he’s uncomfortable with. I feel very strongly that you should tell him the truth, and talk this through. See what he’s comfortable with. 

    Post # 4
    2179 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    This is an overall sucky situation.  I think that telling DH and watching from afar is the way to go.  Not telling him will make him think you’re hiding something on purpose, and not participating will make your sister upset.  I think you can be honest with DH and tell him how torn you are over this and that you want him to know you are as annoyed by this situation as he is.  Is he the type to be able to talk it out, or will he get mad and want to ignore the situation?

    Post # 5
    9149 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Definitely tell him, but maybe talk it through and see what he thinks you should do.

    Post # 6
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    tell your sister!!!!! Omg the worst bachelorette party i was ever on was one with a male stripper for 1/2hour.  The bride to be didn’t want him there, only the two “head BMs” wanted him there and most to take pics of her shocked face.  Your sister is shy …… this is going to kill her.  I’d tell her and see if you two can come up with something to fix it. 

    Post # 7
    4525 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @FreckledFox:  My BF wouldnt be amused if he knew I sat through a bachelorette party where a male stripper performed……but I don’t think he’d ever say a WORD about it, for fear he’d look mean or controlling. I was in this situation recently, and I simply went to the daytime part of the party (3+ hours) but had a “previous engagement” that night and couldnt be there for the stripper portion.

    It ruffled some of the bridesmaids feathers and they insinuated I was being a “bad friend” and should cancel my other plans to be there that night. I didnt. I really wish they had just dropped it with my respectful decline.

    Bottom line: I’m not going to sit through something I don’t like, but I’ll think up a graceful way out of it. Maybe you can “run an errand” the 45 minutes he’s there, maybe pick up some pizzas for the group or something.

    Post # 8
    3736 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014


    @Dialysate:  +1

    I did the same as Dialysate. Don’t make assumptions – just talk to your DH about it and he may surprise you. If he doesn’t agree, nod and enjoy! Ha ha ha. No no no. (well, maybe…)

    Post # 9
    9692 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @FreckledFox:  I would pick my husband’s happiness over anyone else’s, so that is an easy decision for me. Either you sister will be upset, or your husband will. You live with him and have a life with him. I totally get that you sister is important (I have one too, and a SIL who I consider a sister) but no one trumps your husband. Also, it’s not like you don’t have a valid reason (I’m sure you wouldn’t be thrilled if he had a female stripper in a hotel room either).

    I would think your sister would be understanding. Even when my sister and I don’t agree, we respect each other (well…usually 😛 but we sure get over things fast).

    Post # 10
    9692 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @badabing88:  I love this logic. You’re a bad friend for not doing something you don’t want to do, but they are GREAT friends for trying to make you do something you don’t want to do (and getting pissy when you won’t). I think you made a great compromise. I wouldn’t have sat through it either – strippers hold zero appeal to me and I don’t think anyone would appreciate eye rolling throughout. So I’d just bow out.

    Post # 12
    9614 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @MrsPanda99:  +1!!!

    Post # 13
    11239 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013


    If it were me, I’d probably sit in the other hotel room. Or, like @badabing88 suggested, try to go run an “errand” or something.  

    Post # 14
    4525 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @MrsPanda99:  lol thanks, I’m glad someone can see that it’s a fair compromise….because other bridesmaids “looking out for the bride” have sure given me hell about it :-/ If I don’t want to go on a 4 day, out of state bachelorette trip, I’ll simply think up a polite excuse not to and send a gift or card…..but I’d be lying if I said I wasnt tempted to get real honest with the ones that wouldnt just drop it.

    Post # 15
    8141 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    would youe DH really be upset?  or do you just not want to participate?

    the stripper will probably pay most attention to the bride. 

    if you don’t want the stripper in all his glory so close to you either stand in the back or more away if he gets close or go in the other room since that is an option.


    Post # 16
    9692 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @badabing88:  That attitude really frustrates me. You never know what someone is dealing with, or whether or not they are able to afford something. Maybe you don’t want to go on a trip because it’s too expensive, you don’t want to be away from home, or you just plain don’t want to. Either way, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. I wish people would just learn to accept “no, thank you” as an answer and stop guilting people to try and get their own way.

    We were just out in Toronto because I had work engagements and it was my father’s birthday. Our friend’s wedding falls on a day where we are back home and she is expecting we will just fly out again (because flights are really cheap, and I can just take days off of work whenever I feel like it). She is not graciously accepting that we can’t go, and is trying to make us feel awful about it. I just don’t understand why people try and shame you for doing what’s best for you. If it was me, I’d say, “oh, that’s too bad, but I understand” (even if I didn’t :P).

    The topic ‘Stripper: What Would You Do?’ is closed to new replies.

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