(Closed) strippers

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 167
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

And yes, I do agree with you that if my husband goes to a stripper, that is on him, not the stripper he went to see.  The girl is just working and does not know anything about his relationship with me.  It’s up to my husband to keep his marriage vows and the individual promises we made to each other as a couple.  I don’t have anything against strippers.

Post # 168
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

View original reply
@MoonlightRose:  you are not understanding. 

Criticising another women for her choice of career as “breaking my marriage” is an attack. How can you even say that ? 

I am pointing out your mistake and misjudgement. Yes, it is a mistake and misjudgement to tell a women she is breaking your marriage when she is serving her clientele. Your husband, if this is the case, is the one that is breaking your marriage because of the promises he broke to you. 

And in this case, I really do not care what your husband thinks because this is an issue that as women we need to get over. Sex workers are not a threat to our marriage. You have an agreement with your husband- great. 

I say majority because majority of women in America have insecurity issues: eating disorders, celebrity worship, just look at the threads on WeddingBee over weight issues or “i look so bad in my wedding pictures”- that horrible, especially since we all are beautiful in our diversity. 

Post # 169
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@damon1:  

I hate it when people say that if you don’t want your SO to get a stripper then it’s a trust issue. It’s a respect issue. I wouldn’t let another man grind on me, and I would think it’s totally disrespectful for my DH to let a woman do it to him.

I have nothing against strippers or couples that are fine with it, but don’t give me the trust issue crap.

Post # 170
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@karineh:  Where did I criticize other women for breaking my marriage?  I said that if my husband goes to a stripper, it constitutes cheating (in our own opinion–other marriages are different) and that is HIS fault.  That is how I can say that it would break my marriage.  Sex workers are not a threat to our marriages just for doing the job that they do, but you still not have proven why women should be accused of being insecure just because they don’t think their fiances/husbands should be going to see strippers.  It’s a lifestyle choice, nothing more and nothing less.  If you made a different choice, that’s fine, but please don’t disrespect other people’s decisions about their relationships.

 

Post # 171
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@karineh:  And you cannot make generalizations about the majority of women when you have not even MET the majority of women and don’t know anything about them!  Like I said, everyone is an individual.

Post # 172
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

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@MoonlightRose:  no, women tend to be insecure about strippers. I stand by it. 

I am really confused why you are arguing me then.

 

Post # 173
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@karineh:  I’m arguing because I believe that people shouldn’t be generalized and because I think that women should have the right to make decisions about what is acceptable (and not acceptable) in their own relationships without being accused of insecurity issues just for making the choices they do.  Every marriage is different just like every person is different.  People have different opinions on things and make different lifestyle choices.  What I’m saying to you is that a woman can trust her husband and yet still disapprove of going to strip clubs simply because it’s not what she wants in her marriage, and if the husband and wife have an understanding about it (like we do), that’s just how their marriage is.

Post # 174
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@karineh:  The other thing is, if a woman is going to be accused of being insecure just because she’s decided she wants her marriage to be a certain way, that could also cause her to be insecure in a different way–that she would fear the judgment she would receive from other people just for making these decisions.  Men and women should be able to make decisions about their own marriages without being attacked for making these decisions.

Post # 175
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

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@MoonlightRose:  + 1 to everything you’ve said, MoonlightRose. I completely agree. My Fiance and I are both of the view that going to a stripclub would be considered cheating in our relationship. That is our decision and that does not make either of us insecure. Neither of us have trust issues either. Every couple sets their own boundaries in their own relationships based on their own morals, values and beliefs and that is perfectly acceptable.

Post # 177
Member
9856 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

View original reply
@MoonlightRose:  +1000000000

 

View original reply
@karineh:  Just because a woman has agreed with her Fiance that neither of them is into seeing strippers (not the strippers fault) does not mean she is insecure.

Post # 179
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Interesting how the debates on this topic tends to go. Seems that people get offended by each others opinions. Just remember ladies, no matter what side you are on, you don’t have to justify your relationship to anyone.

Post # 180
Member
337 posts
Helper bee

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@VAwife:  So you don’t think porn is degrading to women either?

Post # 181
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

    First off, I’m 44 and probably one of the few men to post on this thread. I would never date a girl who’s into the male strip scene – NEVER. I am, absolutely, NOT jealous. I simply am not attracted to girls who don’t behave in a mature and civilized manner. By The Way, that’s the same way I act. So I’m not expecting something that I don’t provide myself. Any girl who feels at home in (or is “entertained”) an environment, where guys are taking girls hands and sticking them down their pants, grinding their dicks in girls faces, and dry humping, etc. is simply not a girl who is swimming in my gene pool. I am not attracted to girls who are yelling and screaming and basically, acting like classless 20 year old drunk sorority chicks. I agree with other posters who have stated that, just because the person is an official “stripper” (and money is exchanging hands), that it’s any different from a girl who has some other random dude strip and grind on here. I’ve heard of girls who go to Thunder From Down Under strip shows, who say that they go mainly to yell and scream and see the expressions on other girls faces, when strippers rub their hands on their dicks and so forth. I’ve heard others (with husbands or boyfriends) brag that they got to feel the stripper’s “package” ?How many times can a girl see those expressions and still be entertained by it ? These types of things tell me alot about where a girl falls on the food chain. If these types of things entertain someone and they feel at home there, it speaks volumes about the woman. I have never been a slave to retarded rituals and traditions (as most people are), such as the bachelor/bachelorette stripper thing. People celebrate their engagement by acting like base animals with some naked person of the opposite sex ? Really ? That tradition makes alot of sense. These people who suggest that they need to do the stripper thing because of their friends, are basicially conceding that they are born followers – not very attractive. If a female stripper came to a location that I was at “unexpectedly”, I would just get up and walk out. A small gesture like that can be extremely attractive to a SO. I have a message to all of the women on this thread who share my views on this – Don’t tell your SO that him going to see strippers (in any venue) makes you feel uncomfortable. Tell him you feel yourself LESS attacted to him when he does this. It doesn’t make you jealous. You simply aren’t attracted to that type of guy. And you don’t see yourself in a long-term realtionship with someone that you’re not very attracted to. Usually, the last thing a SO wants is for you to lose your attraction to them. You don’t seem less empowered/needy when you state it in these terms. 

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