(Closed) Strippers at my Man’s Bachelor Party…

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am so sorry you are going through this :-(.

Post # 33
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Just read the letter from your Fiance. He sounds like he is so sorry this happened and he cares about you a lot :-). That is really nice, glad that he wrote you the letter.

Post # 34
Member
5165 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It was sweet of him to send you that letter but wouldnt he be bothered to know that you’ve posted a verbatim copy of his letter on here with his real name and your real name? Maybe I’m just an overly private person..

Post # 36
Member
6610 posts
Bee Keeper

I am so glad things are better between you two! I’d have felt the exact same way, girl.

Post # 37
Member
1760 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Awwwwww! He’s such a sweety! I am sure he felt pressured enough by his buddies to go, and then got a lapdance they paid for, for him. Like “C’mon… we already paid!” And the whole deal about just texting him after your jump can probably be chalked upto his friends too who are just eager to make sure he is not on the phone with you on that particular day. Afterall, this is his one and only Bachelor party! They want to have only a ‘guy’s time out’. After all, if you call him, he’d get all engrossed in talking to you, and asking about your experience with the jump, etc. as opposed to you just texting him. If you hadn’t text back, I am sure he’d be concerned what happened.

Post # 38
Member
4460 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well, what I am reading here seems like there was failed communication. You said you thought you would be okay with it, but then you weren’t which means you were never okay with it. Women shouldn’t be afraid to communicate these feelings.

Now that it’s done you just have to get over it. There is no point in always being angry, bitter, sad, ect about it. It’s only going to destroy your relationship in the end. So get it out and move on from it. Be more open about the things you don’t like going forward. Your Fiance said if he had known you were not okay with it, it wouldn’t have happened. Sorry you feel down about it, but don’t let it ruin your wedding and marriage.

Post # 39
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Just try and feel better.  I wish guys would realize that the little thrill they get from a lap dance is sooooo not proportional to the pain they can cause their fiancee BEFORE they go out and do it.  It sounds like he’s really sorry.  

Anyway, just remember: a stripper can never compare with you… not being a stripper.  You win that one every time.  

Post # 40
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Just try and feel better.  I wish guys would realize that the little thrill they get from a lap dance is sooooo not proportional to the pain they can cause their fiancee BEFORE they go out and do it.  It sounds like he’s really sorry.  

Anyway, just remember: a stripper can never compare with you… not being a stripper.  You win that one every time.  

Post # 41
Member
1953 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@Charbirdie:  What an awesome note! 

Post # 42
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

In light of your more recent post, I will disagree with everyone here.  (And, I would have disagreed in the first place.)  This is not failed communication on YOUR part.  It was up to your guy to ensure that you were OK with naked girls grinding on him, not vice versa.  And most guys are not flaming idiots–they know that their girlfriends won’t like it.  (And the ones who have girlfriends that don’t mind, know that too.)   There is a reason that they keep the activities a secret or don’t ask in advance.   And, a lot of strippers have darn good bodies.  Not that that should matter, but saying that most are ugly is ridiculous. If they were unattractive, strip clubs would go out of business.  Some strippers are knock out gorgeous. 

 

Other points–he is marrying you, not the stripper.  But, that doesn’t excuse it.  If it was a hooker, he would be marrying you too.  While it is true that most men don’t want to marry the strippers or the hookers or the one night stands, that’s not the issue.  The issue is do you want to be with someone who cavorts with strippers before your wedding, in front of all of his friends.

 

And finally, regarding the fact that it will be all forgotten to 2 to 5 years.  Of course it will be except if you are amongst the 50% who get divorced (most commonly due to infidelity) of the 50% of people who remain married and miserable.  

It’s not a good sign.  Don’t pretend it’s not so bad.  YOu just need to decide if you can forgive it.

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