Strippers: Double Standard

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MsMelodyBee:  

wow lol

how about you both just have a batch jack n jill so this doesnt even need to be an issue?

my now husband told his guys,no batch,i do not need or want strippers,they were disapointed but he didnt give a shit.

a man who really dont want strippers will voice their concern and make it clear,the party is for them not their friends.if the groom is to chicken to tell his guys he dont want strippers then guess what,he really does want them but he just dont want you to know it.i wouldnt either after reading your post knowing he will never hear the end of it.

i do hope it works out for ya and your man will step up and tell the guys no strippers,but that will only happen if he really want no strippers

Post # 4
Member
2613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I agree 100% with no strippers. Luckily for me, my FH, without my knowledge, actually did not attend a good friend’s bachelor party a few years ago because of strippers. I didn’t find out about it until after the fact, so I didn’t have to look like the psycho, controlling girlfriend. He got major brownie points for that. His sister is now getting married, and was planning on a strip club. He told me I could go, but I declined the invitation because if he wasn’t allowed to see strippers, than neither am I.

 

I believe that a man in a committed, serious relationship has no business being around naked women.

If he’s going to let his buddies dictate the activities, then you can’t really do anything about it. Ultimately, there’s nothing you can do about it without causing a big fight or looking crazy to the majority of younger people today. Just try to let it go.

Post # 5
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It’s HIS party, he may want/need to remind his buddies of that when he puts his foot down that there will be NO strippers. And maybe he can make it clear that if they take him to a strip club, he will leave, and be upset with them. Of course he can’t control them, but he can control his part in their shenanigans.

Post # 6
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee

@MsMelodyBee:  

Think I’m joking? I’ll post a link to the beating if it becomes an issue.” 

…. don’t high school girls go to jail for doing things like that? 

Post # 7
Member
2270 posts
Buzzing bee

@MsMelodyBee:  I know strippers too, and I don’t know why so many women on the Bee seem to think you can’t touch them, and all they’ll be doing is swiveling their hips a bit and grinding in his lap. 

2/3 of the strippers I know have slept with clients too. I don’t know if they were paid extra, but does it really matter? 

They have had their asses and tits grabbed frequently, their asses slapped, and one even said she felt a finger slide inside her, but didn’t know who did it, so she just kept dancing. 

SO knows there will be no half naked chicks trying to seduce him before, during or after our marriage, whether that’s their jobs or not. He says he isn’t interested in strippers anyway. Unlike your SO, my SO would be just as livid with me as I would be with him if I was around male strippers. It just isn’t appropriate to us and not something we want in our relationship.

Post # 8
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MsMelodyBee:  This is awesome!! I feel the EXACT same way about strippers. And would totally beat a b*tch, no question. Last weekend my FI had his bach. party and they went about 4 1/2 hours away to the other side of the state to go on a houseboat down the Mississippi River for a long weekend. So, I was not a huge fan of that idea, but then I was like…there won’t be any strippers, they are in the middle of nowhere…right?! WRONG!! The first night, yes, the FIRST NIGHT (like, they weren’t even there for a total of 2 hours) his guys took him to a strip club. I was SOOOOOOOOO P!SSED! I couldn’t even sleep that night knowing that here I am in bed right now and my man is getting boobies thrown in his face an God knows what else (cried myself to sleep). They are such PIGS I can’t even stand it!!! FI and I had an agreement that IF there were strippers, he HAD to tell me even though I wouldn’t be happy about it. I didn’t want to start off our marriage with lies. Luckily, (since I already knew that he had gone to a strip club that first night) the next day he told me about it. I made him tell me exactly what happened and what they did to him…IF he was telling me the truth (which I will never fully know if he did or not), it wasn’t too bad…but still bad enough… 🙁

UGH!! MEN!!!

Post # 9
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MsMelodyBee:  Lol. Powerful thighs. Change his stupid tune. Well said!

Post # 10
Member
2213 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I get what you’re saying, but it doesn’t really equate.  The bachelor or bachelorette is the guest of honor at their party…stripping (and lap dancing, as you’ve indicated you’ll do for Javier) is hard work! 

No bride (OK, or maybe just me, ’cause I’m lazy) wants to have to work for her bachelorette party.  😛

 

 

Post # 10
Member
6 posts
Newbee

 

As someone who lives in one of the most stripper and escort riddled cities in the US (and familiar with these scenes), please be aware that the crap that people will feed you about nothing going on in strip clubs is BS in most cases. Many strippers will sleep with the customers (if the price is right, and tey tip the bouncers well). If a  customer is generally attractive, someone might kiss/allow him to touch/ sleep with him anyway. With that said, your boyfriend needs to learn how to stand up for himself and your relationship. What is the point of trusting someone if they cant learn how to set boundaries under pressure in questionable situations? My .02, I think that he should demonstrate that he can set boundaries before you say yes to him (if you two arent engaged already by now).

And as far as male strippers are concerned, many of them are just as raunchy AND will go there.

Post # 11
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Well that was unnecessarily aggressive.

Post # 12
Member
2609 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

 

MsMelodyBee:  I’m on your side. 

If some women are fine with strippers, good for them.  But I think its ridiculous that women actually feel BAD or like they’re somehow insecure shrews if they’re not just tickled pink to have their future husband spend an evening with an oiled up, glittery sex worker. 

Its downright wrong and its downright disrespectful.  Its incredible to me that in these supposedly liberated times, women are bullied into going along with this crap for fear of being labeled uncool or their man teased for being whipped.

A man grown enough to be married should be grown enough to tell his buddies he’s not going to upset or disrespect his bride for the sake of a petty thrill. 

I don’t think its cool to tell a man he *can’t* do something but it is fine to tell him how you feel and he should respect those feelings if he loves and respects you. 

Post # 13
Member
2609 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

 

PinkSapphire87:  I’m pretty sure that was hyperbole.  Chill. 

Post # 14
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Yes, I wouldn’t want my fiance to be at a bachelor party with strippers, either. In fact, he went to one two years ago and we almost broke up when I found out.

Some women are fine with it (the wife of the guy from the bachelor party a couple years ago, for example), and I’m not going to sit here and tell them they shouldn’t be–if they feel secure enough in themselves and their relationship to be fine with it, then it’s none of my business. But for me, personally…it broke my heart. Thinking that in that moment, something about her was so special that he would make the choice to risk our entire relationship for one dance from her? It really broke my heart.

Post # 15
Member
1195 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

MsMelodyBee:  Lol that’s hilarious and I agree. I’m in sort of the same boat as the boyfriend isn’t into strip clubs but his friends are down. So I’m not sure what to expect, hopefully none of that shit! As far as male clubs, it’s actually worse there as I think women are allowed to touch – though it’s reversed for female clubs as men are generally not “allowed” to in most places though I’m sure things do happen behind closed doors. Either way, I’m not cool with it. Sorry, but he gave up stuff like that when dating started and it doesn’t make it okay to get “one last go of it” in just because you’re about to get married! If he needed a night of freedom, he should have gotten that out of his system before getting in a relationship!

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