(Closed) Struggle to gain weight

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

How many calories are you getting a day? Meals? What do your meals consist of?

Post # 2
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

ChocolateLime:  since you’ve struggled with an eating disorder, to the point if hospitalization in the past, I think you would be wise to seek help from a professional. In your particular situation asking advice of random internet strangers seems risky. 

Post # 6
9671 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

Have you seen a doctor or had anyone check for hyperthyroidism?

Post # 7
516 posts
Busy bee



Tell them that slim people struggle with body image just like everyone else.  Tell them to mind their own business and worry about their own struggles instead of making you feel self-conscious for yours. 

I would suggest trying a non-dairy protein shake as an in-between meal supplement, AND do some weight training to add some healthy weight to your frame.  I have always been long and stringy, and when I began weight training (not body building) my shape changed, and I love it!  Also, muscle burns a lot of calories in and of itself, so you will have to up your caloric intake (just something to remember). 


Good luck.  My mom makes me feel bad for looking good by saying (with “that’ tone).  “You look like you’ve lost some weight.  I wish I had time to workout.”  Ugh.  Know what I mean?  🙂

Post # 9
4323 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Myfitnesspal.com has all sorts of boards for weight loss and weight gain, depending on your weight goals. It really is helpful, has recipes, & other supportive members standing in your shoes.  Unfortunately I can’t help you gain weight (healthfully and with deliberation, anyway) because wanting to do so is a foreign concept to me, and I’m always trying to lose it. But there are others out there like you, and I see them regularly posting on myfitnesspal.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by  StuporDuck.
Post # 10
437 posts
Helper bee

1700 is not enough calories, if you are that active. You are probably eating close to maintenance, or may even have a defecit. I would recc figuring out your TDEE (online calculators help with this). This will tell you appx how many cals you burn per day with your height/age/weight/activity… Then you would want to add maybe up to 15% of that number, to get a healthy caloric goal. Your weight will slowly and steadily increase in a healthy manner, as long as you make sure you all of the calories that you are eating are healthy and clean. Count them every single day to ensure you are meeting your goal. If you still lose weight, you need to see a Dr. to see if you have a medical problem. 

It’s the same concept of losing weight, and will take just as much (if not more) dedication and willpower. 

Post # 11
9671 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

I agree with PPs saying try shakes too. If you go to GNC there are lots of “mass gain” powder formulas you might be able to add into your diet. 

Post # 12
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

‘Eh, in my experience — at the other end of things — people are actually QUITE open about sharing their disdain for people who are overweight (as it’s deemed “entirely” within that person’s control to change it). Overeating is a vice within someone’s control, if only they would stop being so gluttonous and lazy– being too thin is seen as a mental problem (When it comes to knowing that someone has an eating disorder, I’ve found that people are generally very accepting, even tolerant of it — i.e., “It was so much pressure.”) I think it’s a very accurate assessment, though, that when people aren’t aware of an eating disorder — past or present — that criticisms tend to be levied more openly at those perceived to be “too” thin.


I do think the suggestion of looking into hyperthyroidism is a valid one. How active is your lifestyle? Assuming a sedentary lifestyle and an age around 30, your daily maintenance level is about 1550 calories. If you are eating roughly 1700 calories a day, but also exercising — even a light to moderate 20-minute workout per day could be enough — it may be the reason you’re stuck at your current weight. What you call “massive” portions could also be a remnant of your battle with anorexia — namely, smaller stomach size. Since anorexia tends to run in social circles (namely, it’s more likely to affect middle class and upper class women), this also begs the question — do others around you tend to eat small portion sizes (or do the others you know also have eating disorders)? Are most of them average, underweight?

While it sounds as though you and your husband have similar dietary preferences at home, he may actually be eating more than you think when you aren’t around.

Still, the possibility of hyperthyroidism is a very valid one in why you’re having difficulty gaining weight. Is there a history of thyroid problems in your family (sometimes, you may not know it’s the thyroid — terminology like “goiters” refers to thyroid problems)?

A doctor may just advise fitting in a few more calorie-dense snacks into your day. Given your previous eating disorder history and your current weight — even if you are otherwise healthy — my bigger concern is early onset osteoporosis. I assume your doctor is aware of the ED, but maybe that’s something to bring up with him too — what you can do to prevent current damage from getting worse, and how to prevent more in the future. Otherwise, your weight may be something that’s upsetting for vanity, but is otherwise benign to your health — even if you are slightly underweight.


Post # 13
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

ChocolateLime:  I agree with you SO HARD on this:

It seems like people are much more careful about possibly offending someone who is overweight but think they have a free pass to say what ever they like to someone who is underweight.<br /><br />

Body shaming no matter what the body is STILL body shaming! I get it pretty often from my coworkers. UGH.

Post # 14
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

ChocolateLime:  I would talk to a professional about how to do this healthfully. As someone who has also suffered an eating disorder in the past and also consider myself in recovery, I also know that my views on normal eating probably still are not normal compared to most people…you might be the same way. 1700 calories is probably not enough for you to be gaining weight, although you might be able to maintain at that level depending on your activity level. You would probably benefit from adding some healthy fats and proteins to your diet. I would suggest tracking your meals for a week and then working with a nutritionist who has experience with eating disorders. I am sorry people are saying things to you- I know that is not helpful!

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