- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
1. Remember that your FH is a MAN. This seems obvious, but honestly to most brides to be, we forget. Men could really care less about the details. My FH thought the ONLY thing he had to do was show up to the wedding and say I DO! ha! Are you kidding me? However, once I realized that he didn’t and wouldn’t care as much as me, I started picking and choosing details that I wanted to discuss with him… the venue, food, cake, music his attire, car rentals, etc. The other details…Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, flowers, etc. I talk about with friends/family. If he asks, I’ll tell, but there is NO POINT in stressing yourself about getting his advice, when honestly he probably doesn’t care and on your wedding day… he’ll be too focused on you to think about the flowers, Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, programs, and all of the other small details.
2. Explain to your FH that wedding planning is great preparation for your ACTUAL marriage in terms of communication. During the beginning of planning, I would have a screaming match (by myself because FH clearly wasn’t listening) about him not taking the wedding seriously and how it hurt my feelings. He didn’t get it! However, after I sat him down and told him that depending on HOW successful we are at planning this one day event may determine how we communicate during our marriage. For instance, I told him that in our marriage, we would have to agree on how to discipline our children, choosing a house, decorating, etc. If we could not both learn how to communicate with one another so that both parties are understood and no one’s feelings are hurt..then we were in for a rough ride. I also reminded him that a “happy wife= a happy life”.”lol. After this talk he saw the light and has made a more conscious decision to actually engage in wedding planning.
3. I would pick and choose your wedding day talks/activities wisely. I normally let Fiance know ahead of time when we need to do something wedding related (cake tasting) and the day before I give him a soft reminder/speech about why it is important. (Do you want to hear your mom complain about how disgusting our cake is? or do you want to spend this much money on a disgusting cake?)
Also, I would suggest choosing one day a week that you set aside with him to focus on wedding stuff. For instance, my FH and I choose Sunday’s to get things done. He is willing to sacrifice this one day to focus on the wedding and it helps because (as he says) “I’m not bothering him with all of the details every day”
4. I could talk forever ladies! Sorry! Last thing, maybe you all could work on giving your FH a to-do list that you both agree on. My FH has to get all addresses for his family, find officiant, choose counselor, decide on guestbook, music, and honeymoon. Yes, my list is 10,000 times longer, but it’s something!
I hope this helps!