- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
Sorry for the long read!
I have been with my FI for 5 years, almost 6 now. When we first met and started dating, I was pumped that he has a little brother and sister. I’m an only child, so I thought that’d be cool.
His little brother and I got along fine, but his little sister and I never hit it off. I guess I can just accept that people have differences and move on, but I’m just not that type of person. I understand that you can’t expect to be best friends with everyone you meet but…
She has always been snotty with me. She is 5 years younger than us, and always tried to one-up me. Take New Years supper last night, I was being asked by his family about wedding plans, and all that, and just as I start, SIL jumps in literally, and says, “I just got back from a road trip with my boyfriend!! Isn’t that cool?” and I try to interject quietly to the people who asked about wedding things and talk again, and she comes over again and says, “NO, aren’t you guys going to ask me where we went??”
There is a long list of things else that has happened. She’s told me she hates me, and I’m stealing her brother away and clouding her parents’ judgment and I’m so not a good person for her brother.
We were at a family gathering and MIL asks FI about a sort of bug-bite/rash both he and I have, so we were quietly explaining everything and SIL stands up, points at us both, and screams, “That is FUCKING disgusting!!! GROSS!” and proceeds to tell me, while fake puking, how gross it is and we have worms and such.
Also, to add to the fake puking thing, we received a food processor for Christmas, and my FIL asked what dishes we’re looking forward to make. While I explained, SIL fake pukes and says how gross and fattening everything I mentioned was.
She’s totaled her car and blamed it on her little brother, when her mom said to her, “Watch who you are talking to, young lady”, she came back with, “YOU had better watch your tone with me, mother, and be happy I showed up to this dump of a dinner.”
She’s literally spikes our drinks with alcohol, because as she puts it, “you guys are 24 and drink once every 3 months, god you’re pathetic!” yet in turn, she has one cooler and passes out in a pukey mess.
I’ve spoken with FI about this all, and at first he suggested to ignore her. That never worked, she just got louder. We then turned to his parents and asked what they suggest to do. They said they were looking for a jumping off point to start a good, serious conversation with, good timing and they felt badly she was attacking us the way she was. Sadly, his parents are so lax, and pick and choose when to discipline, so that’s tough. I try not to retaliate at all, it just does no good. Geez, she won’t listen to her own mom, what’ll she do when we say, “Please stop that, it’s rude/hurtful/etc.”
To be truthful, I am a little bit jealous of SIL and her and her BF relationship. They have been together just over a year and are getting massive perks and family support compared to the weekly texts from MIL when I first started dating FI saying, “Please don’t hold back my son, he needs to concentrate on school and your dragging him down.” It took 4 years for us to move out together, and SIL&BF are moving out this week together. FI and I STILL to this day get told, “Please don’t hold hands it makes grandma uncomfortable”, yet SIL can sit on her BF lap, kissing and hugging in front of the grandparents. SIGH! I feel like she’s growing up to fast, and doing it on purpose to ‘catch up’ with the rest of the family? She is the youngest girl in the family, everyone else has husbands/long term/etc… Yet, even when her parents say, Slow down! You realize you have to pay electric when you move out, and you leave the lights on!? She screams, I don’t need your help!! and slams doors.
Anyways, I think FI spoke with his parents, and I think we are having a ‘family meeting’. Gulp!! Any suggestions what to do until we can figure this all out? Am I being too sensitive? Am I being too junior high school? 🙁