(Closed) Struggles between boyfriend and dad…stopping my engagement?! :(

posted 11 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Well, the short answer is that there’s nothing you can really do.  Your boyfriend needs to be man enough to develop his own relationship with your dad, and convince him that he’s generally a good guy who is worthy of your dad’s little girl.  Your dad feels protective, which is understandable.  Your dad doesn’t like to see you cry.  Your boyfriend probably doesn’t like to see you cry either, but responding (in front of your dad!) by laughing and making jokes is never going to impress your folks.  That’s pretty much common sense.  It’s nothing that your boyfriend can reasonably be mad about – if he loves you, he should completely understand it.

So – your boyfriend needs to get off his high horse, and try hard to make nice with your dad.  And after enough of that, your dad will hopefully see that he’s a pretty good guy, and will come around.  And frankly, if your boyfriend isn’t willing to put in the time it takes for your dad to really get to know him, then he’s not really mature enough to marry.  I know that’s harsh, but it’s the truth.  We’re not talking about taking you to the prom here, we’re talking about the rest of of your life.  Your folks deserve his respect.  Him getting pissed and walking out, and now being mad – over a situation where it certainly seems like he was a jerk – is not that mature.  Probably an apology to your dad for treating your poorly when you were upset would go a long way.

In the meantime, you have also learned a little lesson – which is what your girlfriends are for.  Namely, to b*tch about your boyfriend, if you have to.  Of course your parents are a little leary of him – they had to listen to two weeks of what a jerk he was and how bad he treated you and how miserable he made you.  If you were them, how would you feel?

Anyway, best of luck.  It’s probably not what you wanted to hear.  Relationships with in-laws are always potentially touchy.  That’s why you really need someone who is willing to try hard to get along with your family – rather than someone who is always going to put you in the position of defending him or mediating for him.  You don’t want to spend the next 30 years in between your dad and your husband – so try hard not to get into that position in the first place.

Post # 4
1 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

love the post im dealing with the same almost. My dad really doesn’t like my boyfriend well as of now fiance he didnt ask him for permission because he knew he would say no besides they havent spoke in over 5 months! Now my dad feels disrespected and will NOT be apart of my wedding. Im seriously broken i feel now that I have to chose between my father and my fiance any suggestions? Please Help

Post # 5
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@ladybree91: Hi! This post is **three years old** so I’d suggest making your own post for your issue if you want advice (otherwise people respond here to the OP who has presumably long since moved on).

The topic ‘Struggles between boyfriend and dad…stopping my engagement?! :(’ is closed to new replies.

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