(Closed) struggling

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
2240 posts
Buzzing bee

You shouldn’t be with anyone right now. You’ve got too much going on in your mind and body. It would do nothing but pull you in a bunch of different directions and cause more turmoil while providing you with a false sense of security. 

You’ve mentioned anxiety and depression in other posts, if I’m not mistaken. If that’s true, you need to get on that ASAP. If you haven’t already, go get a check up; find out if you have vitamin deficiencies or chemical imbalances. After that, find a good therapist or counselor, or books that address what you’re feeling and any problems you’ve dealt with consistently over the years that keep you from being content.

No boyfriends, no sex. Get a check up and start looking inward. Introspection, introspection, introspection. 

Go get some Vitamin B12 ASAP.

Post # 3
120 posts
Blushing bee

These are all things you should be talking about with a counselor. Have you made an appt with one yet? This is definitely above WB’s pay grade at this point. 

Post # 4
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - Emerald at Queensridge

May I ask how old you are, Bee? It seems like you may be young, and even if you’re not, YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU! <3 I promise you, you don’t need to pine after this guy who doesn’t give you what you want and need. You will meet someone else. I promise. I swearrrrrr! The world is so so so big! There is so much out there to do and see, and so many people to meet. 

Post # 5
10358 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

DO NOT SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WHO IS IN A RELATIONSHIP. DO NOT DO IT. It will make you feel like absolute garbage in the long run. If he’s unattached however, feel free to go on for it. You’re both mature adults, you want to bang then bang. However, do not use someone else for as a bandaid for the loss of your ex and that’s exactly what you would be doing with this guy.

I really think you need to speak to a professional to help you through this funk you’re in.

Post # 6
4242 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Here’s my magic cure for breakups:

Give yourself some time to just be sad.  A month, 2 TOPS.  Be sad, be in the moment.  Just be.  Eat whatever the hell you want.  Order the take out Chinese food.  Be with friends.  Go to a movie just because you can.  Eat the cookie dough straight from the bowl.  Read a fun new book.  Do whatever you want.

After that time is over, get MAD.  Get mad at the things that didn’t work in the relationship.  Get mad at him for being a jerk.  Continue to do good things for yourself.  Read more books.  Go to more movies.  Explore new things.  Step outside your comfort zone.  Do something that scares you.

If after a few months you are still fawning over him and what could have been (which I think you fit this bill), it is time to get thyself to therapy.  You aren’t healing by thinking “oh in 6 months we will be back to where things were”.  It’s over and the sooner you realize that and accept that the happier you will be in the long term.  I know that is hard and it feels like you are ripping off a band aid, but it will help, I promise.

Break ups are just like grieving someone’s death.  You are grieving the loss of the relationship and the loss of someone who once meant the world to you.  Breakups suck.  But if you start healing now, in a few months you will be able to look back on this and tell yourself “look how far I’ve come!”

Post # 7
9400 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
Browneyedbelle92 :  

No darling don’t go sleeping with people  just  to ensure your own desirabiltiy/dull misery /feel less alone .  Just mourn the relationship for a bit , then you can have who you *like , only with a  bit more lightheartedness and less likelihood of post sex guilt and depression.

*only not  someone else’s partner anyway , not ever.

Remember , this  too wil pass.

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