Post # 1
hey bees, I know I’ve posted a lot but I just feel that I’m glad you guys are here
I don’t know if I have hit a denial stage. I keep thinking maybe in six months or more or less he could come back saying he will work on the intimacy and money and that he will work on being healthier
I find myself fantasising constantly about us intimately and when we were together I couldn’t dredge up one sexual fantasy about him.
on the 29 he speed dates and i just keep thinking you asked one last ditch attempt and he said no.
I honestly don’t know what to do all I know I I have many doubts about us and I had this feeling in my gut our marriage would end because I’ll meet someone else and now I’m not so sure and I have another big problem I have been sexually attracted to a friend I have known since high school we dated but it was absolutely nothing. He has been attracted to me during the relationship and he said he’d give me everything that my ex didn’t. Now that I’m single he’s in a relationship it’s not serious but I know he wants to sleep with me now I feel I have to be very careful because he has some kind of feeling for me and we both agreed its only sexual. My biggest fear is that if we eventually do sleep together I will regret it. Obviously I can’t but I know because my ex and I lacked intimacy that is why I want him. Please don’t judge me I have never had a real lust for someone before and I know he wants me. I want him to be happy to I’m not a slag and now between fantasizing about my ex I’m coming to terms that the person I really want to take me in his arms and pleasure me isn’t coming back. I know I said deep in my gut I want to move on but I wanted him to be the one. Now I feel like a selfish bitch because if my friend’s relationship ends I want to sleep with him and I don’t want to be a slut I’m hurting now
Post # 2
You shouldn’t be with anyone right now. You’ve got too much going on in your mind and body. It would do nothing but pull you in a bunch of different directions and cause more turmoil while providing you with a false sense of security.
You’ve mentioned anxiety and depression in other posts, if I’m not mistaken. If that’s true, you need to get on that ASAP. If you haven’t already, go get a check up; find out if you have vitamin deficiencies or chemical imbalances. After that, find a good therapist or counselor, or books that address what you’re feeling and any problems you’ve dealt with consistently over the years that keep you from being content.
No boyfriends, no sex. Get a check up and start looking inward. Introspection, introspection, introspection.
Go get some Vitamin B12 ASAP.
Post # 3
These are all things you should be talking about with a counselor. Have you made an appt with one yet? This is definitely above WB’s pay grade at this point.
Post # 4
- Wedding: February 2018 - Emerald at Queensridge
May I ask how old you are, Bee? It seems like you may be young, and even if you’re not, YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU! <3 I promise you, you don’t need to pine after this guy who doesn’t give you what you want and need. You will meet someone else. I promise. I swearrrrrr! The world is so so so big! There is so much out there to do and see, and so many people to meet.
Post # 5
DO NOT SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WHO IS IN A RELATIONSHIP. DO NOT DO IT. It will make you feel like absolute garbage in the long run. If he’s unattached however, feel free to go on for it. You’re both mature adults, you want to bang then bang. However, do not use someone else for as a bandaid for the loss of your ex and that’s exactly what you would be doing with this guy.
I really think you need to speak to a professional to help you through this funk you’re in.
Post # 6
Here’s my magic cure for breakups:
Give yourself some time to just be sad. A month, 2 TOPS. Be sad, be in the moment. Just be. Eat whatever the hell you want. Order the take out Chinese food. Be with friends. Go to a movie just because you can. Eat the cookie dough straight from the bowl. Read a fun new book. Do whatever you want.
After that time is over, get MAD. Get mad at the things that didn’t work in the relationship. Get mad at him for being a jerk. Continue to do good things for yourself. Read more books. Go to more movies. Explore new things. Step outside your comfort zone. Do something that scares you.
If after a few months you are still fawning over him and what could have been (which I think you fit this bill), it is time to get thyself to therapy. You aren’t healing by thinking “oh in 6 months we will be back to where things were”. It’s over and the sooner you realize that and accept that the happier you will be in the long term. I know that is hard and it feels like you are ripping off a band aid, but it will help, I promise.
Break ups are just like grieving someone’s death. You are grieving the loss of the relationship and the loss of someone who once meant the world to you. Breakups suck. But if you start healing now, in a few months you will be able to look back on this and tell yourself “look how far I’ve come!”
Post # 7
No darling don’t go sleeping with people just to ensure your own desirabiltiy/dull misery /feel less alone . Just mourn the relationship for a bit , then you can have who you *like , only with a bit more lightheartedness and less likelihood of post sex guilt and depression.
*only not someone else’s partner anyway , not ever.
Remember , this too wil pass.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t cheat or let him cheat I’m not that kind of person
I am seeing someone soon. It was really late and I just wanted to vent
I’m sorry if I offended anyone I just wanted to talk because I’m hurting. I know it will pass one day