Struggling mentally post-wedding

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 61
Member
458 posts
Helper bee

Tbh I think your hair looks pretty much the same in all photos – like it was meant to be messy.

You chose that kind of look because you felt it made you look beautiful. Isn’t that what we all think when choosing our ‘look’?

You then changed your mind (and I feel you are really nitpicking at the differences photo to photo) and are having a meltdown!

You need to accept that whether your hair looks beautiful or not – there is absolutely nothing you can do about it now.  Stop wasting your energy and enjoy being newly married instead.

Post # 62
Member
8264 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

underice :  

I think you have to do better than this I” do hope I can stop fixating on it soon enough.’, OP YOU are the one who has to stop , not hope somehow  it’s going to.

For a start you can stop making long posts about it in which you agree what a tiny  thing this is , and  then go on at great length with the next installment  as if  it’s more or less taking over your life.

I’m not one to say ‘therapy’   lightly , but this is getting seriously  obsessional. You are going to make yourself  into  of those infamous bees who everybody  remembers as cray cray. 

Post # 64
Member
2936 posts
Sugar bee

I’ve been married over 30 years.

I can honestly say that you need to stop being such a nitwit.

It doesn’t matter if you had some hair out of place. What matters is that you got married to your husband.  Everything is is peripheral.

Just enjoy the photos that you like. You don’t have to show all the others.

The wedding day isn’t meant to be a perfect day. Appearance isn’t everything. The better days are the days to come – the ones you spend with your husband. It’s not as though the wedding day is the peak of existance, whatever anyone says.

Choose the photos you like the best and then just get on with life. 

 

 

 

Post # 65
Member
8264 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

underice :  

Ok, OP , best of luck . CBT is good stuff !

Post # 66
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: City, State

dear bee, I feel you. so hard. i was deflated by our pics as well. for me it really came down to my dress. It kills me I didn’t get a dress that is more “me” and so I hate my pictures because I don’t feel like myself. just remember it is ONE day, and you can always take bridal portraits or anniversary pics in your wedding attire – whatever you want! as a photographer myself, I am heartbroken for you. your photographer sounds confusing.  you should NOT have to pick. please rest easy knowing you can always take pictures again, pictures you feel beautiful in!!! who cares if they weren’t on your wedding day ?! at least that’s what I’m telling myself because of my disappointment. much love to you. 

Post # 67
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: City, State

to everyone tell her she’s silly for worrying about this post wedding — we’re on a site called freaking WEDDING BEE. this whole site is dedicated to all the intricacies and details of wedding planning and getting everything just right…and she just wants to feel beautiful in her wedding photos. y’all. for REAL. have some empathy! 

Post # 68
Member
8264 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

forestfaerie :  

Yes indeed it a wedding website , but that  doesn’t mean OP’s obsessional  worrying over minutiae should be encouraged . We would be doing her no service at all to reinforce it.  

Post # 69
Member
21 posts
Newbee

Why don’t you hire a professional to Photoshop the photos you are unhappy with? 

Post # 70
Member
16 posts
Newbee

I’m probably going to sound insensitive, but there’s got to be something else going on here. Are you happy with your life otherwise? You mentioned a big part of it is a feeling of “what do I do now?” I feel like some of this is you wanting to keep obsessing over it to help deal with the fact that the wedding/wedding planning is over, and there’s just real life left. It seems like dwelling on this is a way for you to stay in wedding mode, which probably isn’t healthy. 

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