(Closed) Struggling with a wedding party (sorry, long)

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I have a wedding party?
    No, it's obvious you don't want one : (7 votes)
    64 %
    Yes, your FI wants one and it's his wedding too : (3 votes)
    27 %
    Other (please explain) : (1 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    2777 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    You don’t have to have a Maid/Matron of Honor, I won’t be having one.  I feel awkward having pay for their dresses but I just can’t afford to pay for them.  I’m not requiring them to pay for anything else though.  In that they can wear whatever shoes, jewerlry (within reason no dog collars with spikes or anything) and hair/makeup.

    My bridesmaids don’t know each other for the most part.  One is my cousin, one is Fi’s teenage sister, and the other three are my friends.  Actually four of them know each other from seeing each other at other parties, but their not friends per se and the last is a friend from college who doesn’t know anybody but is cool with new people so it shouldnt be a problem.  

    Since your bridesmaids will be older you don’t have to have them wear matching outfits either (I will be having mine do that but all but one is in their 20s).  I have seen a lot of pics of different color dresses and all the same color but different styles too.  There are different options if you still want a bridal party.  I live 2000 miles away from where we will be having the ceremony I probably wont get a shower but I don’t much care.  

    All my bridesmaids have different body types but I picked out a dress that will flatter them all.  If you let your girls pick their own dresses they can get something that flatters them.  

    As for the girl your Fiance doesn’t get along with he didn’t make you choose correct?  And how serious is this issue really?  If he’s having groomsmen it would be nice if you could have bridesmaids.  I was really nervous to ask mine but I did and everyone is excited.  I would talk to your Fiance about this girl and to your sister.  Maybe she wants to be Maid/Matron of Honor and not a bridesmaid?  Talk to her anyway and if its just your friends then you don’t have to pick an Maid/Matron of Honor.  Best of luck to you!

    Post # 4
    71 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Have groomsmen and forget the bridesmaids. A lot of people worry about symmetry, but it really doesn’t matter. You don’t HAVE to take pictures with them anyways.

    Good luck!

    Post # 6
    3304 posts
    Sugar bee

    @nushka:  Have none and then your problem is solved. I understand how you feel though really thinking about it but just make the decision with your fiance and move on. The less you think about it, the less you will be uncomfortable with the decision.

    Post # 7
    9181 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    If your fiance is OK with it, just skip the official bridal and grooms parties.  The guys can still help set up, hang out with him while he gets dressed, take pix afterwards, etc etc.  Your friends / sisters can do the same, if they don’t feel uncomfortable with their single-ness (which they shouldn’t if they’re real friends!!)  We’re doing something similar, mainly because I agree with you that having a line of matching dressed women standing up there is goofy.

    Post # 8
    1623 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    A couple suggestions:

    What if you had bridesmaids, with the idea that all they need to do is show up on the wedding day and stand beside you.  Many brides take this approach, and don’t want or expect their bridesmaids to help with anything or pay for anything more that what they would to attend the wedding. 

    For example, you could tell the girls a color or two you’d hope/like their bridesmaid dresses to be, and then let them pick out their own dress.  That way they’d all wear something they’re comfortable in, but still have unity as bridesmaids.  If you pick a common color, like black, many people already have a “little black dress” or black pants they could pair with a black top so they wouldn’t have to purchase something new.

    For hair make-up, let them do their own or pay for their own if they want it done.  Even if they do their own, most likely they will still look nice…no one wants to look like crap as a bridesmaid or even guest at a wedding. 


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