(Closed) Struggling with accepting myself

posted 9 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
2634 posts
Sugar bee

Oh no!!!  I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, just remember, your Fiance loves you for WHO you are, not what you look like or what your dress size is.  Is there *ANY* way your dress will fit, have you taken it to a seamstress?

Post # 4
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

oh I can totally relate.  I am sorry you are feeling this way and I wish I had some great advice, but I strugle with this myself.  A lot of mine is from being ill.  I had thyroid cancer and had to have it removed, and your thyroid does a lot for your metabolism and such.  So I have gained 60 lbs since this all started, so you can imagine I don’t feel so good about that.  No matter how I eat, shred, jog etc I can’t drop weight and it is extremely frustrating, but in the end it really does come down to who you are as a person.  I have a lot sympathy for bigger girls like me and especially knowing there are a lot of medical reasons girls can’t loose weight and it isn’t all because we are lazy or eat to much:)  I am sure you will look beautifull on your day and it is going to be awesome:)


Post # 5
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010


I work as a wedding photog’s assistant, and I can tell you that no matter what the size, EVERY bride looks beautiful on her big day. Try and focus on getting more exercise, but don’t beat yourself up! Planning a wedding is a stressful time, and you KNOW your fiance loves you no matter what! 

Post # 6
26 posts
  • Wedding: July 2010

Let’s stay positive : )


There’s no doubt your fiance adores you whatever weight you are, but you have a <span style=”text-decoration: underline;”>whole month!  You could definitely lose 5 noticeable pounds in a month.  Hey, maybe that’ll be the difference between not fitting in the gown and having it fit like a glove.

Best of luck!



Post # 7
206 posts
Helper bee

Remember that your fiance loves you for WHO YOU ARE!! And on your wedding day he as well as everyone there will see a beautiful bride in front of them.  They way we girls view ourselves is not how everyone else does.  I can totally relate to how you are feeling and the situation but remember that you will look amazing no matter what!  Try to keep motivated to lose a few pounds before the wedding, there is still time!! You will look amazing, and you are not the only person to feel this way.



Post # 8
888 posts
Busy bee

Aw, we are all too hard on ourselves.  I personally beat myself up about looking old (I’ll be 39 on my wedding day and I’m very self conscious about getting older).  You will be absolutely beautiful on your wedding day.


Post # 9
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I second everyone’s sentiments about your fiancé loving you for who you are.  Remember that that is what is important and what you are celebrating on your wedding day.

About the yo-yo dieting…I found that I could stick to a ‘diet’ if I allowed myself flexibility.  For months I stayed on track (I allowed myself a break over the summer) by eating healthy foods all week, but allowing myself 3 meals per week where I could eat whatever I felt like and/or had been craving.  For me it was easy to eat my veggies on Weds if I knew that on Fri night I could go out to a nice dinner w Mr. Paris and order whatever I felt like.  Of course everything in moderation, I didn’t totally pig out for my 3 meals, but I enjoyed eating what I wanted and didn’t feel guilty.  Good luck!

Post # 10
167 posts
Blushing bee

I have two great books to recommend.  Try not to be turned off by the first title — the underlying message is really valuable and one I’m trying hard to accept for myself. The books are “Overcoming Overeating” and “When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies” by Jen Hirschmann and Carol Munter.  Even if you’re not an ‘overeater’ the books are written from a feminist perspective, which challenges our fat-phobic culture and works with you step-by-step toward body acceptance.  It’s hard to capture the message in a quick forum posting, but I’ll post excerpts from a review and some of their own writings:

“Munter and Hirschmann call this syndrome “Bad Body Fever” and demonstrate how “bad body thoughts” are clues to our emotional lives. They explore the difficulties women encounter replacing dieting with demand feeding. And finally, they teach us how to think about our problems rather than eat about them–so that food can resume its proper place in our lives.”

“The authors point out that people generally eat for two reasons; physiological (the physical body telling us we are hungry), and psychological (eating for enjoyment despite not being physically hungry). Anyone who has been unable to resist that piece of cake or bag of chips even after a fulfilling meal will be able to relate immediately. Demand feeding, the art of feeding your body only on a physiological level, is presented as the only viable and lasting strategy for a healthy relationship with food. Demand feeding also encompasses the notion that separating the two modes of eating forces one to confront the real issues that cause psychological eating, permitting one to address those issues first.”

“The Overcoming Overeating Philosophy

* Compulsive eaters are people whose hands or minds move toward food
when they are not at all hungry. Compulsive eating has nothing to do
with the size of your body. Compulsive eaters come in all shapes and
sizes. Compulsive eating has to do with how many hours you spend
preoccupied with thoughts about what you are eating and what you look
like. The Overcoming Overeating approach does not address eating
disorders; it addresses dieting disorders, the casualties of the diet

* Compulsive eating may seem self-destructive, but it is always an
attempt at self-help.

* Diets never, ever solve eating and weight problems. Diets cause
compulsive eating.

* Significant change flows only from self-acceptance, never from

* Food is not the compulsive eater’s problem, it is the solution. The
Overcoming Overeating approach teaches people how to eat their way out
of an eating problem.”


Post # 11
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Hey Jamie Lee, you haven’t updated in a while, your wedding is this weekend and I was just curious how your making out? Does your dress look good? I do the same thing with eating, I eat cause I’m craving something or i’m upset or i’m excited. I wish I was one of those people who couldn’t eat when they get anxious.

No matter what, you’ll look so beautiful on that day, your almost there girl!!!

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