(Closed) Struggling with Bridesmaid selection…help?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m so sorry about this. Just listen to your heart. If you really want her to be there with you, ask her. If she can’t afford it, or doesn’t want to be there because of her beliefs about marriage, she can always say no. You could even phrase it in a delicate way–“I know marriage isn’t really your thing but I’m hoping you will support me and stand by me because you are a treasured friend.” She doesn’t need to do crafts, and heck, she doesn’t even need to go to your bachelorette. She just needs to be there for you on your wedding day. Now, if you’re thinking that because of her recent life choices, you would rather not have her as a bridesmaid, then don’t ask. It would not be weird at all to have uneven sides. I’ve seen many beautiful photos with uneven sides, and it’s not even something that I notice unless I’m actually looking specifically at the number. So no, do not ask anyone to take her place.

Post # 4
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

If you don’t ask her, will you regret not asking?

Post # 6
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I don’t know if it’s just an American thing or what, but the only occasions that Irish bridesmaids must attend are the hen party (batchelorette party) and the dress buying/ fittings and hair and make up trials and the wedding itself. What are all the added functions that American bridesmaids are required to attend and is it really important that all the bridesmaids attend every single one? 

If I knew for a fact she’s going to be a real drama queen I wouldn’t bother asking, but it’s your call.

Post # 8
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If you decide to ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I would make sure you outline what would be expected of her both financially and time wise so she can opt to not accept if the financial burden or her beliefs just don’t match up to your expectations.

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