- 11 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
Hi bees! I really need some honest, constructive feedback, because I am starting to think that maybe I am becoming a bridezilla! My Fiance is getting frustrated with me asking his opinion and then being upset when he doesn’t like something. I just am really struggling with having the wedding I have always envisioned and incorporating what will make him happy too.
Some background: we’re planning a June 2010 outdoor, daytime wedding at my parent’s home in the country. We’re having a morning ceremony in the front yard and then a tented brunch immediately after. My "keywords" are: relaxed, intimate, informal, family-oriented. I want it to feel like an elegant family reunion. I grew up with Southern weddings that are very "backyard BBQ" style, so while I want it to be a little more fancy than that, I want it to be warm and relaxed and condusive to mingling, rather than a traditional, formal event.
Fiance, on the other hand, is used to much more formal weddings – think church weddings with dinner & dancing at a banquet hall. While that’s lovely, that’s not very "me" and not what I would like. From the first moment we talked about marraige, he has known the "down home" (literally!) feel I desire.
While he says he’s on board with the greater concept, everytime we talk about a detail, his opinion is that it is too casual or too country. For example, he doesn’t like having Adirondack chairs for people to relax in, because its not formal enough. Because of this, I have been incorporating more formal aspects to the wedding plans & not even considering some things I like that I know he’ll think are just way too casual.
One thing we’ve gone back and forth on, as well, is attire. He would like to have all the men – wedding party and immediate family – in tuxes, and he wants to wear a white bow tie. I think this is tacky for a daytime outdoor wedding. He likes to dress up a lot, so I understand why he’d rather wear a tux than just a suit, but I feel like he & his guys will look silly next to my bridesmaids in sundresses! He also hates the idea of the ring bearers wearing eaton suits or khaki suits instead of tuxes.
How can we compromise on this? I guess my main question is really – how much should we? Is it okay that I don’t really want to? I feel like most brides have their idea of their wedding, and I sometimes resent him for encroaching on it. But then the other half of the time, I feel guilty for feeling that way! HELP. And thanks 🙂