Post # 1
Where to start. I am getting married in about a year and have begun asking my bridal party to be in my wedding. Originally, I was planning on five people, including a cousin, two bridesmaids, and a co-Maid of Honor and Man of Honor. I was on the fence about two friends: one from high school who has been a good friend to me throughout the year, but we are not “best friends. The other is a more recent friend from my last two years of med school who I feel close and can envision the friendship continuing to grow.
Well, I was planning to ask my Maid of Honor recently, but before being able to, she abruptly ended our friendship, which has been extremely difficult… So now, I am planning to only have a Man of Honor. For those of you who have had Maid/Matron of Honor drama/issues, any advice? Unfortunately, the entire issue was on her end and I don’t see things being repaired unfortunately… We had been like sister for over 10 years.
My second question is what would you all do about the other girls who I had considered asking? Part of me doesn’t want to regret not asking them, yet the other part doesn’t want to overcomplicate things by having a much larger bridal party. I would still invite them to all the events, but I am iffy about adding more people.
Post # 2
omg i’m having the exact same problem except backwards. I originally asked 4 girls, then felt like they weren’t being supportive and fired them all. Now my fiance’ is demanding having at least one so I feel like I need at least one but i’m not sure if I can just pick my favorite and leave the rest hanging or if i’m obligated to ask all 4. I’m gonna say to you what everyone said to me; we’re overthinking it. It’s apparently okay if we do not have matching numbers on both sides and it is definitely okay to have the opposite gender on either side even though i’m letting ‘traditon’ hold me back from my brides-man atm. He’ll still be in the wedding and we’re actually thinking about asking him to officiate but anyway, do whatever you want! Ask whoever you want. Just try to predict if they will actually be supportive or they might surprise you with constant critiques like my girls did.
Post # 3
this seems like a difficult situation – i was conflicted as well with my bridal party. i am getting married in may and have 6 bridesmaids but had a very hard time choosing “old” high school friends that i have been friends with but we have grown apart some – vs. more recent friends that i talk to daily and feel closer with. long story short – i chose my high school friends.
anyways – sorry to hear about your Maid/Matron of Honor. that really sucks especially at such an important and exciting time in your life. can you ask both your high school friend and med school friend, and still have your cousin and Man of Honor? that way you don’t regret not having anyone, but that still is not a huge bridal party at all.
Post # 4
If you aren’t sure, if you hesitate for whatever reason, don’t ask them. That’s my general rule of thumb. As for “Man of Honour”, that’s perfectly fine, I was a Groom’s maid and it wasn’t all that awkward.
Oh man, if you fired all of them for not being enthusiastic/supportive enough, I wouldn’t approach any of them for Bridesmaid or Best Man again, that’s kinda insulting to them – that you can hire/fire them at will and then expect them to step up to the role if/when you ask again. You’re just looking for drama if you ask any of the original 4 again.
Post # 5
littlemissdimsum : That is good advice to all, “If you hesitate, don’t ask”. I wish I had thought more about asking my original 4. One of them though is my best friend and I definitely want to ask her. I wish I didn’t freak out, I just didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings when they were starting to argue over Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 6
If there is a girl who you would ask but aren’t sure but they would make a really good day of coordinator I would consider that. It’s an important role and they still can get all dressed up and take some pictures.