Struggling with my bridal party

posted 3 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

omg i’m having the exact same problem except backwards. I originally asked 4 girls, then felt like they weren’t being supportive and fired them all. Now my fiance’ is demanding having at least one so I feel like I need at least one but i’m not sure if I can just pick my favorite and leave the rest hanging or if i’m obligated to ask all 4. I’m gonna say to you what everyone said to me; we’re overthinking it. It’s apparently okay if we do not have matching numbers on both sides and it is definitely okay to have the opposite gender on either side even though i’m letting ‘traditon’ hold me back from my brides-man atm. He’ll still be in the wedding and we’re actually thinking about asking him to officiate but anyway, do whatever you want! Ask whoever you want. Just try to predict if they will actually be supportive or they might surprise you with constant critiques like my girls did. 

Post # 3
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

this seems like a difficult situation – i was conflicted as well with my bridal party.  i am getting married in may and have 6 bridesmaids but had a very hard time choosing “old” high school friends that i have been friends with but we have grown apart some – vs. more recent friends that i talk to daily and feel closer with.  long story short – i chose my high school friends.

anyways – sorry to hear about your Maid/Matron of Honor. that really sucks especially at such an important and exciting time in your life.  can you ask both your high school friend and med school friend, and still have your cousin and Man of Honor?  that way you don’t regret not having anyone, but that still is not a huge bridal party at all.

Post # 4
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

If you aren’t sure, if you hesitate for whatever reason, don’t ask them. That’s my general rule of thumb. As for “Man of Honour”, that’s perfectly fine, I was a Groom’s maid and it wasn’t all that awkward. 

@brokebee69

Oh man, if you fired all of them for not being enthusiastic/supportive enough, I wouldn’t approach any of them for Bridesmaid or Best Man again, that’s kinda insulting to them – that you can hire/fire them at will and then expect them to step up to the role if/when you ask again. You’re just looking for drama if you ask any of the original 4 again. 

Post # 5
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

littlemissdimsum :  That is good advice to all, “If you hesitate, don’t ask”. I wish I had thought more about asking my original 4. One of them though is my best friend and I definitely want to ask her. I wish I didn’t freak out, I just didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings when they were starting to argue over Maid/Matron of Honor. 

Post # 6
Member
41 posts
Newbee

If there is a girl who you would ask but aren’t sure but they would make a really good day of coordinator I would consider that. It’s an important role and they still can get all dressed up and take some pictures. 

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