Struggling with my vegan wedding plans

posted 3 months ago in Food
Post # 16
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

lauraloo :  Agreed. For my vegan wedding, we put “buffet dinner” on the invitations and asked guests to advise of any alergies.
Some guests have asked what sort of food will be on the buffet and we’ve been completely honest with them about it and they seem excited to try it. There were a couple of my FH’s friends that made rude comments, but then he assured them it would be good – and considering my FH is the pickiest eater ever, they took his word for it.

Post # 17
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

veganbride1991 :  Absolutely have a vegan wedding.  My advice is to have foods that are naturally vegan and reasonably familiar to guests. What person wouldn’t enjoy a vegetable stirfry, etc? List ingredients or food allergens, because vegan food often presents food allergens where people would not expect them.  (I am allergic to cashews and have to avoid vegan food when ingredients are not listed, even though vegan food is an awesome option for my dairy and egg allergic daughter.)  Some people will be jerks no matter what.  My SIL told us that our daughter’s “vegan” chocolate was disgusting, even though it was just regular dark chocolate.  Lots of people just hate everyone who doesn’t consume dairy I guess, possibly because of their own weird hang-ups, or possibly because some aggressive vegan has been rude to them in the past, I dunno.  Their problem though.  You do you.  I had a nut-free wedding because I am allergic to some nuts and it was my wedding.  

Post # 18
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

My husband and I had a vegan/vegetarian wedding (mostly vegan but one dish had some milk). There were a few skeptical people at first, but no one went hungry and we got so many compliments on how good the food was!  My suggestion is to find a caterer that has vegan options already on their menu and then tweak it to what you want, rather than trying to work with one that isn’t used to vegan cooking (even if they are willing to try). As other people mentioned, have some easily recognizable foods (baked potatoes, veggie skewers etc) and then a few more adventurous items – we had falafel balls with sauce that went over really well! Worst case scenario the guests can stop on the way home and get a burger 😄

Post # 19
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Totally fine. Go for recognizable standard type of food options that should appeal to people who may not be used to eating vegan and I wouldn’t see any problem. I wouldn’t even mention it. I don’t know why people would complain that it’s selfish or cheap. Vegan food is generally anything but cheap. Healthy stuff costs $$$. If people grumble, honestly they probably are the type who would find something to grumble about no matter what.

Post # 20
Member
9485 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

As a guest I would never expect a couple to go against their personal ethics/morals. I honesty can’t understand why this always becomes such a debated topic.

Its your money, you should feel comfortable with where your putting it. Your guests can survive one vegan meal and there are plenty of delicious vegan food options. I would definitely form a poor opinion of any guest who though someone should compromise their morals just for them. But I wouldn’t have any negative thoughts towards a vegan couple serving vegan food. Any guests who would complain are the rude/selfish ones.

Post # 21
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

This is a moral issue for you, so I definitely think you should stand by what you believe and have a vegan reception. Anyone who can’t get through a single meal of one day in their life without meat/dairy has bigger problems and should prob be carrying sticks of beef jerkey on their person at all times.

Post # 22
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I am a super picky eater and not vegan, but I wouldn’t decline because it was a vegan wedding and I don’t think it would be rude. I always eat before I go to any wedding anyway just to be on the safe side. For my wedding, we had pretty simple food, nothing fancy or out of the box, and that’s what I wanted. I am sure some people thought the food was boring but it was good so I didn’t really care. It’s okay to stick to what you want. My in-laws follow a vegan diet so I had our cater prepare a special pasta dish for them for our wedding. They said it was good. When I started to plan my wedding I felt like I needed to accomodate everyone in some way and then when I started to pick things like food and drinks I realized I didn’t really care. You can’t please everyone. Everyone at my wedding drank my bar up without complaints so I would say they were pretty happy regardless if my food wasn’t what they would have picked LOL

Post # 23
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

tqh1020 :  “I always eat before I go to any wedding anyway just to be on the safe side.”

Same girl. I’m currently dealing with some pretty severe dietary restrictions due to breastfeeding and I’ve learned the hard way that I just need to eat before I go to any food-related event rather than expect people to cater to my bizarre diet and needs. At the height of it, I couldn’t have anything with dairy, soy, tomatoes, or lemons or my baby would have blood in her poop. I also don’t eat red meat or pork, sooo yeah basically anything other than chicken /fish and rice/potatoes was a no go lol. 

Post # 24
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

 I say do the vegan wedding you want. I am definitely no vegan or vegetarian but I can handle one  vegan meal  for one night to celebrate someone I love.  Honestly, if I were invited to the wedding of someone I know is a vegan for moral or ethical reasons I would just assume the dinner options would be vegan.  I wouldn’t show up expecting any meat options and it really wouldn’t bother me 

Post # 25
Member
2557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I think it’s fine as long as the food is good! I’ve had crappy food at “non-vegan” (lol) weddings, so to me, as long as you pick a good caterer I wouldn’t mind skipping meat for one day!

Post # 26
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee

A vegan wedding can be done well!  I think the keys to success as finding a good caterer who can do delicious vegan food and not making a big deal over the fact the food is vegan.   Sometimes, people have only had a very bad experience with a vegan dish and they tend to think of all vegan food as funny, odd-tasting stuff that involves their most hated vegetable.  They hear “vegan” and picture chunks of tofu swimming in mystery sauce.

I’d also try and avoid ingredients that non-vegans tend to dislike – ie, cheese substitutes and too much tofu.  But a lot of delicious food is naturally vegan and appealing to non-vegans.  I’d also be cautious of any nut-milk or nut-cheese as an ingredient due to nut allergies.

We’re not vegans, but we eat vegetarian about half the time. A lot of our friends are vegetarian and a few are vegan.  Several other friends don’t eat beef or pork for religious reasons.  About half the food we’re serving at our wedding is vegan.   I don’t have a copy of the menu in front of me, but vegan offerings including an artichoke & caper tapenade on a crostini; grilled peaches with a balsamic drizzle; and a spicy roasted cauliflower dish that was the runaway hit at our tasting with the caterer.  

Post # 27
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

veganbride1991 :  That’s awesome!! Good to know you have some choices!

Post # 28
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

In my (meat-eatimng) experience, my only complaint about vegan weddings is that the food isn’t filling enough. 

If you can serve some filling food, I wouldn’t care if the cheese is fake or not XD

Post # 29
Member
5920 posts
Bee Keeper

Lol someone on one of these threads started arguing with me when I suggested to avoid vegan ‘chik’n’ or vegan ‘meat’balls lol. Most people eat vegan food pretty regularly, but when you start trying to introduce seitan and nutritional yeast to meat and potato folks you’re asking for trouble. Keep it simple, have clear allergy guides and enjoy!

Post # 30
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - City, State

Hubs and I are vegetarian. We only served vegetarian food at our wedding. We didn’t “warn” anyone in advance, and we had a buffet with plenty of tasty options for everyone. None of our guests batted an eye.

The only etiquette rule is to host your guests with sufficient food and drink. If you can provide ample delicious vegan food, go for it! I’d personally avoid too much soy or unusual meat substitutes (jackfruit pulled pork sliders may be delicious to you, but will cause Uncle Wilbur to give some side-eye) and stick to crowd-pleasing basics. But just as I’d call bullshit on anyone insisting a Mormon couple serve liquor or guests demanding an Orthodox Jewish couple serve bacon, I don’t think there’s a single thing wrong with sticking to your morals for your wedding.

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