Struggling with my vegan wedding plans

posted 3 months ago in Food
Post # 46
Member
736 posts
Busy bee

hikingbride :  As a guest I would never expect a couple to go against their personal ethics/morals. I honesty can’t understand why this always becomes such a debated topic.

 

This! I don’t really enjoy vegan food because I’m usually having a bit of a stress about the possibility of nuts being an unnamed ingredient but there’s no way I’d ever expect someone to go against their morals just because I quite like steak. 

In fact, if I’m going to eat vegan food I’d prefer it to be at a wedding where I could specify my nut allergy in advance and feel confident that the couple loves me enough to make sure I don’t die!

Post # 47
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

veganbride1991 :  If it doesn’t align with your values you shouldn’t feel pressured to serve it! I say serve some awesome vegan food! Not vegan but I wouldn’t think twice if my vegan friends didn’t buy meat for their wedding. This convo kinda sounds similar to a discussion I had on this forum about alcohol. My Fiance and I don’t drink primarily for ethical reasons and I was called “rude”, a “bad host”, and “selfish” and told nobody would  have fun. Truth is anybody that knows us knows we don’t drink and our family for the most part doesn’t drink either (or at least not at family functions). I don’t believe in putting my money towards alcohol and I don’t think you should feel pressured to put yours towards meat. Do what feels right for you! The day is about celebrating love not what we serve the guests.

Post # 48
Member
871 posts
Busy bee

twinkie698 :  a lot of people are saying that not because those foods are scary but because they’re an acquired taste. I once went to a friend’s house for lunch. I had no idea she was vegan. I tried the cheese dip with nachos and it tasted very strange to me. I tried the Mac and cheese which was yummy. I had a jackfruit slider which was also not my jam. The cheese dip was fake cheese and jackfruit is a meat substitute. The “cheese” of the Mac and cheese was made of cashews and I couldn’t tell in the least! Though it was not the usual gooey Mac and cheese but more of a pasta bake type. So there are hits and misses and we are just telling the OP, as meat eaters, what might have higher chances of being misses if she wants to avoid them. 

Even my friend said that it took her awhile to adjust to liking the fake and substitute items (i have heard this from multiple vegans). So I suggested not serving them at a wedding since for many, it’ll be their first time trying and there’s just a higher chance of people not liking them. There are many “main stream” vegan options that are more likely to appeal to non-vegans. That’s just the reality of it.

Post # 49
Member
542 posts
Busy bee

veganbride1991 :  If your concerns are your guests being upset and your animal ethics, why don’t you “meat” (hahahah) somewhere in the middle? Provide Vegan meals, but possibly for one meal, get with a local, ethical, small farmer. One where you can see the animals are happy and you know they were raised cruelty-free…

Post # 50
Member
388 posts
Helper bee

Agree with the others, serve vegan food. There are lots of amazing legume, grains and veggie dishes out there!

There is lots of delicious vegan food out there, but as other bees have said, some things such as some kinds of tofu, seitan, cashew cheese are kind of aquired tastes so maybe avoid that.
I’m not vegan/vegetarian, but I woudn’t serve sashimi at my wedding even though I love it, becasue I know it’s an aquired taste to a decent number of people wouldn’t like it. Same idea. I don’t think you need to broadcast that it will be vegan food in advance. Most weddings don’t state what food their serving, so I think if you go out of your way to tell everyone it’s a vegan dinner you’re sort of adding to the “otherness” of it, if that makes sense. 

Post # 51
Member
313 posts
Helper bee

We were in this situation – we’re both vegans. I wanted a fully vegan wedding but my husband convinced me to compromise. So we had vegan appetizers, cake, late night snacks, but for the main meal we offered 2 meat dishes. We had a buffet. 

Post # 52
Member
293 posts
Helper bee

This shouldn’t even be an issue… meat-free food is still ‘normal’ food. As long as you find a good caterer and are conscious of nut & soy allergies, you can have a delicious menu (and probably better than the typical boring meat & two veg that often gets served at weddings). 

Plus, anyone who complains about not having meat or dairy products for one dish needs a reality check. Our current animal-heavy diets are seriously bad for the planet and our health and no one needs to eat animal products for every meal. (And no, I’m not vegan or vegetarian.)

Post # 53
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee

I have been to only 1 vegan wedding. It was a buffet and that seemed to work well. 

The guests who were omnivores mostly chose food they recognized and were comfortable with such as pasta dishes ( the portobello mushroom and spinach ravioli was divine as was the vegetable curry), kebabs, potato salads etc. They also had a range of more adventurous vegan dishes that many guests did not recognize. Some of the more intrepid sampled them but they were mainly consumed by other vegans and vegetarians that attended. I did not see a single person who did not enjoy the food they chose.

Like any catered wedding or event, find a company who really makes excellent meals. In this case one who is well versed in cooking vegan dishes. 

Post # 54
Member
848 posts
Busy bee

i wouldn’t do it and I’m a vegetarian 

Post # 55
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

Meat eater here – definitely go with your vegan menu.  I don’t expect my preferences to be taken into consideration when I go to a wedding.  I may eat a snack before I go and I may stop on the way home for something if I didn’t find enough that I wanted to eat, but that isn’t your problem.  Everyone can survive one night not eating animal products.  I also agree with sticking with the more naturally vegan foods vs. all the soy products to get more buy-in from your guests who aren’t as accustomed to eating that way.  My guess is that you are going to hire the best vegan caterer because you really believe in eating this way and you want your guests to have a great experience. 

Post # 56
Member
845 posts
Busy bee

When you decide on your caterer and do your tasting, I would take a non-vegan you trust with you to sample any of the less familiar items.  They can give you a feel for how it all stacks up.  🙂

Post # 57
Member
4471 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

One of the best meals I’ve ever had at a wedding was vegetarian, including many vegan dishes (it was a buffet of Indian food). Just try to keep it wihin the realm of more common foods (i.e., avoiding tofu like you said) and you should be fine, imo. There are plenty of veggies, fruits, and grains that most people enjoy. 

Post # 58
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

bouviebee :  Yes, great suggestion! I had 3 non-vegans at my vegan menu taste-testing and they were all blown away (so I knew I wasn’t the only one who would enjoy our food)!

Post # 59
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

dobby98 :  That’s totally fine and I agree that as a host you should try to serve food that will appeal to the majority of guests – however – saying that OP shouldn’t serve tofu because it’s an acquired taste is like saying you shouldn’t serve mushrooms or olives. You can still serve them, just have other options as well.

If anything, she SHOULD serve tofu as an option so that people can try it and see that when it is prepared correctly, it can actually taste really good! A dinner buffet with several options is the perfect opportunity for people to try new things that they normally wouldn’t at home or at a restaurant (in fear of wasting money on something they might not like)

Post # 60
Member
5923 posts
Bee Keeper

twinkie698 :   saying that OP shouldn’t serve tofu because it’s an acquired taste is like saying you shouldn’t serve mushrooms or olives. You can still serve them, just have other options as well.

I’m not sure exactly why you’re pushing this so much, but on other threads people DO suggest not to serve polarizing things. If you want people to enjoy the food at a wedding, you pick things that generally going to be crowd pleasers. If you want to teach people a lesson in veganism, perhaps what youre suggesting is a good idea. If you want people to eat the food and enjoy the wedding, there is nothing wrong with serving familiar items that are vegan. 

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