Struggling with my vegan wedding plans

posted 6 months ago in Food
Post # 61
947 posts
Busy bee

twinkie698 :  I have no idea why you are taking this so harshly. These are suggestions. OP can take it or leave it. No one is telling her she absolutely must not serve tofu or fake cheese or any of that. These are our opinions as non-vegans and we are advising OP based on her concern of meat eaters potentially not liking the food 🤷🏻‍♀️ You are welcome to add your 2 cents for OP to consider without looking down on other’s suggestions. 

Post # 62
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

dobby98 :  haha I’m not taking this harshly, I’m just offering another opinion – that clearly is not with the majority here. Most people here are saying that she shouldn’t serve “tofu or fake cheese” and I’m saying that she can if she wants. Obviously OP will do what she thinks is best for her, her FH, and their guests.

Post # 63
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

jellybellynelly :  I guess the lesson is “don’t knock it, ’til you try it” ?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with serving familiar items that are vegan – I’m not dissagreeing with that! I’m just saying that if OP wants to serve other options as well (that non-vegans seem to really have a problem with lol) then to go for it.

I personally love to try new foods – especially when I don’t have to pay for it! Having some “unfamiliar” items on the menu is just a nice way to let guests taste new things that they wouldn’t normally try!

Obviously OP knows her guests better than we do, so she would know if they would be open-minded to trying new stuff or if she should just stick to all “safe” vegan foods.

Post # 64
947 posts
Busy bee

twinkie698 :  fair enough. I do see your point to and agree that is there’s space in the buffet, to offer some more adventurous vegan foods. It’s not a bad idea! But if due to budget restraints and the like there’s limited space, I think main stream recognizable food is the way to go. 

Post # 65
538 posts
Busy bee

I say this as a non-vegan. You should ABSOLUTELY have a vegan wedding. Your moral values are more significant than other people having a meal of their precise choice—and those who care about you should especially value that. Nobody NEEDS to eat animal products every meal. 

Also, there is quite a lot of highly delicious vegan food. 

Anybody who would give you crap for this is a jerk. 

Post # 66
3223 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

veganbride1991 :  I think the big thing is to serve delicious, naturally vegan food and not fake meat food. Don’t serve fake chicken parmigiana, serve eggplant parm. Don’t serve enchiladas with tofu or fake “meat” crumbles, serve sweet potato and black bean enchiladas. 

I do not think you need to serve meat/animal products just for others. 

And no.. I don’t eat McDonald’s 🙄 

Post # 67
145 posts
Blushing bee

I am a vegan and my fiancé is not. I shop vegan and I only cook vegan. My fiancé is not vegan but has chosen on his own to give up eating many animal products.  There was never any question that our wedding would anything other than 100% vegan and as sustainable as realistically possible. My menu is  amazing. I am having a vegan cocktail hour and a vegan four course dinner and my cake and cupcakes are vegan. I didn’t need to tell this to anyone. The only thing I asked was about allergies since nuts are a main ingredient in many of the dishes.

I don’t mean to sound harsh but why would I go against my moral beliefs on the most important day of my life just to make other people happy? Don’t even make it an option. it’s an all vegan wedding and whoever has a problem with respecting your beliefs doesn’t need to be there. Everyone who I invited automatically knew it was going to be vegan. The only person who would probably say anything would be my fiancé’s brother who is an ignorant asshole and I will shut him down.

Post # 68
6663 posts
Bee Keeper

Surely the people who are close enough to you to get a wedding invitation know you are vegan? It shouldn’t be a surprise that you are serving vegan food at your wedding. Be true to yourselves.

Serve great food, nobody has to have meat at every meal and if anyone complains it says more about them than about you. I suggest taking some non-vegans to your tastings, just for another perspective on flavor and texture.

Post # 69
4534 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

veganbride1991 :  people you invite to your wedding know you as a couple and certainly would not be surprised by your choice to have a wedding that is in line with your ethics. Go with vegan food.

My grandparents came here as migrants from Italy. They came from family that had land and animals. They mostly ate dishes that were vegan because milk, eggs and meat were limited and the eggs, milk, cheese they had was sold to people from the town who didn’t have land. Even when they came here where food was more plentiful, the had pasta that my grandmother would make from only flour and water and it was always served with either a vegetable or legume. (and it is delicious food that would never have you thinking you’ve missed out on anything or thinking I’m eating vegan)

People in wealthy nations these days honestly forget that vegan is what most of the world ate/eat daily. The trick I think getting people to eat vegan is to not try and make it look like typical non vegan dishes. My favourite dish out at the moment is a Malaysian laksa. I didn’t even realise it was vegan until a few dinners in when I noted the little (vg) symbol for vegan next to it on the menu. I ordered it the first time because it had deep fried tofu (yum) and fried eggplant/aubergine (my favourite) with a spicy coconut broth and noodles. Essentially all my fave things.

My long winded point is basically do vegan but pick dished that are naturally filling and that aren’t a non vegan dish that they’ve tried to make vegan and I think that three quarters of your guests will enjoy your food. The other quarter are people who will probably never be open or receptive to doing something differently. Enjoy your wedding bee 😊

Post # 70
331 posts
Helper bee

I’m not vegan but I’m not a huge meat eater either and I often find myself cooking vegan meals without even realizing it. My in-laws are not into vegan dishes and a few years ago I decided to make them gluten free hummus pasta without saying what it was. And guess what? They LOVED it! Couldn’t believe it was vegan.

If I were you I would just pick quality vegan food and wouldn’t even bother saying anything to the guests. Most people will enjoy it and the few narrow minded ones will get over it.

Post # 71
1011 posts
Bumble bee

You shouldn’t compromise your beliefs – especially when you are spending your hard earned money.  That said, I would be one of those guests who likely wouldn’t be satiated with a vegan meal and might have to leave early due to hunger. I’d appreciate a heads up that it’s a vegan wedding, but honestly if I knew you were vegan and we were close enough I might ask what you’re serving.  When my vegetarian friends hold events, I ask them what they are planning on serving so I can plan ahead and avoid a growly stomach.  Would not hold your choices against you in the slightest, but my dietary habits don’t jibe well with vegan sensibilities.  

Post # 73
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I went to a vegetarian wedding and thought the food was nice. I heard one person complain about the lack of meat, and it just made me think she was very rude. I would never expect people to serve food that goes against their ethics.

I’ve had vegan food that was pretty boring and bland, but other food that was delicious. Sounds like you’ve got lots of vegan caterers who inspire you so I wouldn’t worry about it – just enjoy picking yummy food!

Post # 74
10 posts
  • Wedding: August 2019

OP I was struggling with this same issue for ages too, fiance and I are both vegan (have been for many years) and we really wanted to have a meat-free, if not vegan, wedding. Unfortunately because the wedding will be in my home country where guests will definitely be expecting meat, and because I didn’t want to cause issues during a difficult time for my family, we have decided to just serve both meat and vegan options. We do feel that we have compromised on our morals and values though. Im glad you’re following through with keeping it vegan, hope you have a great day!

Post # 75
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Just came here to say that tofu is not “fake meat” or a meat substitute, it’s actually a main protein source all on its own and is a diet staple in many cultures.

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