Struggling with new kitten

posted 3 months ago in Pets
Post # 62
4509 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your kitty will grow up quickly and slow down as she does. Our cat is now 7 or 8, but when she was a kitten, she was very demanding about always being in the same room as us and waking us up in the middle of the night when she was ready to play (or wanted food). She had all sorts of tricks to wake us up that we had to train her out of.

It didn’t take long for her to figure out day/night routines and she’s slept through the night (in our bed) for years now. We also got an auto-feeder, which keeps her from “complaining” to us when she wants food, and it’s funny to watch her stare at the feeder like she’s willing it to go off!

She still wants to be with us, but she prefers lying on our laps while we read or watch TV as opposed to wanting to play constantly. We still play with her and she’s pretty good a signalling that she wants to play, but it’s much less of a time demand now.

Alao – our cat has always been alone all day since kittenhood. She’s happy when we get home (greets us at the door and meows until we acknowledge her with a pet or cuddle), but she doesn’t seem to be suffering during her time alone.



Post # 63
299 posts
Helper bee

I grew up fostering litters, so never had a kitten grow up alone. One piece of advice I would give is that is you’re even thinking you might get another cat, get one now. It is so much easier introducing kittens than an adult cat to another cat/kitten. When I moved in with my boyfriend, we both had older cats. My (spayed) female started spraying all over the house and his (neutered) male, would seek out and attack her. We did the 2-month, separate room introductions and it never worked out. Eventually, we just separated the house in half with a baby gate and that is how we lived for 2 years until his cat passed away. 

Post # 65
6806 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I just wanted to chime in as possibly the loan voice of dissent amongst all the “2 kittens” crowd. Not all cats want a playmate. Mine certainly didn’t. She’s 15 now but she has never wanted another cat in the house. She’s a loan wolf. I’ve actually thought many times throughout her life of getting another cat (just because I wanted another cat), but I haven’t because I know that it would actually really mess her up and make her unhappy. 

I’m saying this simply so you don’t feel extra guilt thinking all cats need/want a friend. Cats find lots of ways to entertain themselves. Some actually prefer it. 

Post # 66
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

Just commenting to say we are new kitten parents too. Ours is now about 16 weeks and while we haven’t had the experience you’ve had we discovered (rather a vet friend sent us) an interactive electronic toy that makes life so much easier! She will play with it nonstop then crash exhausted and do it all over again. It’s stimulating and keeps her from taking out her kitten-ness on us (for the most part). She’s even discovered how to turn it on herself. She also plays fetch which I’m not sure is normal but entertains all of us.

 Here she is plotting. 

Post # 68
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

It’s the SmartyKat toys! We have the hot pursuit concealed motion one. milkdud :  

Post # 69
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I see others have said this- I can not tell you how much easier it is to have 2 cats. They play, keep eachother company, and wear eachother out. I feel SO much less guilty about being gone for the day because my kitties have a sibling. 

Post # 71
94 posts
Worker bee

I‘ve had cats all my life since I was 4. They are hyper as babies and eventually calm down. I always only had 1 cat at a time. 

I just adopted a third kitten this month, and it’s way better having more than 1 cat because they keep each other company and play together. I would never adopt just 1 cat again after this recent positive experience.

I ended up getting a third because our first two didn’t match up well… one kitten was VERY hyper and pounced on the second kitten all the time. She wasn’t happy and I felt like she was being bullied so I got a second male. He and the first male chase and play together all the time. Now everyone is happy, but it is a lot of work for me feeding, scooping poop, taking them to the vet, and so on. Sleep is interrupted and I have to go to another room if I really want peace.

But yeah, I recommend at least getting two cats at a time. Trust me, they do grow out of the hyper phase but it can take a while. They’re still babies.

Post # 72
639 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I adopted my cat alone when she was 9 months old. She was fairly active as a kitten, but she mellowed out a lot. Cats do calm down and eat less after the year mark. My cat is 5 years old now, and she’s not super active. She’ll make her way out to the backyard once or twice a day, but most of the time she’ll sit in one spot. Sometimes she responds to toys, sometimes she doesnt. We try to regulate her food, but she keeps getting chunky. She used to live with a bunch of other cats as a foster but she gets super territorial when she sees other cats in the backyard. She is in good health minus the weight issue, 2 absessed teeth that have been taken care of, and minor urinary crystals. We worry that she may be depressed and understimulated, but I don’t think she would tolerate another cat at this point. I still feel guilt that I hadn’t adopted her with a friend. 

My boyfriend adopted 2 kittens together. After 3 days of the baby hissing at the older kitten, they bonded. They cuddled, groomed each other, chased each other around. They kept each other fit and clean.

I had another cat in my childhood. We got him as a baby, and he was an only cat. He did completely fine, but his littermates would come over to play all the time and he’d go next door to play with them. 

My cat and my bf’s kittens obviously grew up in separate households and have different personalities. However, I wanted to share my story. You are clearly a wonderful, conscientious cat mom. Some cats don’t like other cats, and many cats do fine alone. However, I do feel 2 cats of a similar energy level and age are ideal. I thought it would be more work, but it’s not. Even after the bf’s 2 cats run and chase each other all day, they have energy left over to play with wand toys. One is a high energy cat and the other is a medium energy. 

Because of all the love and care you are putting into your kitty, he’ll be fine either way. 

Post # 73
1260 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve had two kittens (one of them is 10 now and live with my dad, the other belongs to Darling Husband and I and is now 2 and a bit years old). 

I’ve always left them alone at home straight away (usually the first day or two I would be home because it’s the weekend but after that they’re on their own). Cats are generally great with being alone (of course they love it when you’re there to play with them). I wouldn’t be too worried. You don’t need to baby them like puppies.

Also we leave our cat alone overnight for a max of two nights if we’re going away over the weekend or something, just fill up the food and water bowl. More than that we’d pay someone to come feed and play with her daily.

They do get spurs of energy as kittens, that gradually decreases as they get older. Frankly I miss my 10 year old cat’s kitten phase, even though he used to burst into my room and run on me in the middle of the night so I hadn’t had proper non interrupted sleep for years lol and he stubbornly scratched the door until I opened it so I couldn’t keep him out and just gave in in the end to stop him destroying the door lol… despite all that, I think you’ll miss the fun and energy once it’s gone.

Darling Husband and my cat now is female and definitely more tame than male cats. But still, she likes to play and does pounce on me etc. We did used to keep her out of the bedroom but Darling Husband gave in and let her in at some point, now she sleeps on our bed. She’s very quiet though and doesn’t tend to wake us up. 

Anyway I would just relax and not worry too much. Don’t sweat it if you can’t seem to keep your kitten out and eventually give in lol, they can be very stubborn and you may not win.

Also about introducing another cat, I wouldn’t wait too long, the older they get the harder it is to get them used to living with another cat. There may be a stressful getting them used to each other phase (if they weren’t introduced into the house together). So do think about that if you are considering getting another cat. One of my colleagues, her two cats have been together for years (one a few years older), and still don’t get along / don’t like each other.

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