(Closed) Struggling with the wait

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Why don’t you speak to him and ask what’s with the hold up. I hate that women are supposed to just stay quiet and wait around hopelessly. It’s so stupid. I literally asked my bf several times while waiting, and cried in front of him because I knew he had the ring since we had chosen it together, and he explained to me why he was waiting. At the time it was because we were in the middle of selling our condo and buying a house and it was a stressful time. So we moved into our house and he literally proposed to me 2 weeks later. 6 months is a long time to wait already. My wait from the time he had the ring was a little over 2 months. I would definitely speak up. You have a say in your future also. Maybe he never got the ring? Or something like that? Just be straight up and honest with him about how the waiting is making you feel. You both know it’s going to happen. The proposal is a formality at this point. So I don’t get why he would be waiting so long. 

Post # 3
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Oh honey I was in the same boat. You haven’t brought it up? You’re better than me. I bugged my boyfriend about it constantly lol I’m an impatient person(one of my many flaws lol) My boyfriend and I looked at rings a year before he actually proposed. Then when I found out he bought the ring, I still had to wait two months. So I empathize completely. Men are strange creatures.

Post # 4
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

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kelz17x :  I know how that feels. Two years it has been since he brought me ring shopping and so so so many holiday trips have gone by with me thinking he’d propose but he hasn’t.

why r men making us wait for such a long time?

Post # 5
Member
723 posts
Busy bee

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winebarbiekiss :  two years? That seems ridiculously long! Have you talked about it?

Post # 6
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

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whnlz :  yeah it is ridiculously long and it hasn’t been easy waiting tbh. SO doesn’t like to be pressured and had some complications that he had to sort out. I guess when we went ring shopping, he was more like getting an idea of what I like. 

I don’t even know he has a ring right now. 

When we spoke about it; he says it’s still on his mind… but just haven’t happened yet. I’m in my mid 30s!

Post # 7
Member
1751 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’d be asking what’s going on. That’s a long wait. It’s your life too – you should be deciding things together

You might start by asking if he still wants to get married in late 2018. It seems like a really long time away to me. Maybe that’s how he felt too – I’ll choose s date really far off and make my decision later. If he’s got cold feet it would be good to know about it. 

Post # 9
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

It’s hard to wait but give him some more time. If your plans are to marry in November 2018, he has some more time left to propose. Normally couples where I live have a one year engagement, so I do not see the rush. Waiting sucks because you start to doubt if they’re ready or you wonder if they have cold feet. If your relationship hasn’t changed lately and he’s acting as usual, I wouldn’t stress. I would wait until summer, honestly. 

The only pressure that I put on my fiancé was to just consider that venues in our area book up quickly for the summer and fall. I didn’t want to have a winter wedding so I asked him to just keep that in mind. 

Post # 10
Member
24 posts
Newbee

SO bought my ring a year ago (i was with him) and still hasn’t proposed..i’m a very impatient person which he knows so i do bring it up a lot. But it’s hard not too, i thought he would have proposed maybe 6 months after buying it but nope, and he’s already asked my dad so idk why i’m still waiting! 

Post # 11
Member
1171 posts
Bumble bee

I never mentioned getting engaged. My DH took me to a ring store once within the time frame of the year we were together. He was looking for earrings, while I looked at rings. I wanted to eventually marry him, but I never mentioned it.

My DH asked me to marry him after 8 months of being together. When I asked him why he made such a huge decision so quickly he replied “It was easy to know I was going to marry you, but it made it easier knowing you weren’t building it up in you’re head. I’m already a nervous wreck, so I figured it would be best to catch you off guard.”

I feel like we forget how much presser we can put on our men not realizing it, they want it to be perfect too. I’d just wait OP. 6 months is nothing, don’t mention it till May. If nothing yet, then bring it up.

Post # 12
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

We are in the same situation. My SO bought the ring maybe sometime in early December. I waited for Christmas and New Year but he hadn’t proposed. Then our 7th anniversary came, but still no proposal. Then, my birthday came, but none still. Then his birthday came…. still no proposal. I don’t know what to feel. I know that he already have the ring but why hasn’t he proposed yet? I feel so sad just thinking about it so all I am doing right now is to try to force myself not to think about it and divert myself to other things. And to make myself busy at work. I am 26 by the way.

Post # 14
Member
7553 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
kelz17x :  Could he be waiting for your 30th birthday?

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