Post # 31
oh, OP, I’m so sorry. :'( I’ve been with my husband his entire military career including ROTC and I basically told him if he wanted to go special ops he could do it alone and I would wait for him when he was done… Because I couldn’t handle it and I would end up in the hospital too.
You are so strong and you are not a burden but a beautiful reason to come home! Please get all the help you need… Can he transition out of the special forces? Has he been special ops your entire marriage and/or before?
You are so strong and need to stay strong for your babies. The biggest of hugs to you. Feel free to message me anytime you feel alone… <3
If he deploys so much I suppose you all are oconus? That would be extra hard.
I hold you in the highest respect… <3 my heart is beating so fast just thinking about it all… My stomach is sick too. Please don’t be shy to admit you are struggling and can’t handle it at certain moments… It’s a strong person who reaches out for help in times of need.
Post # 32
gsdogs: Thank you! We have been married a year. Together almost 6. We have lived together nearly 4. So I have dealt with the constant deployments. He has been incredibly thoughtful with how hard they can be on me. One time he was gone for a while and he wrote me a letter for every week he was gone and a love note for every day. He had my eldest give them to me throughout his deployment. He is a good man. He has been in 17 years this June. He will be reti at 20. We plan to move to Fort Gordon where he has been offered a contractor job teaching cyber security as an E13. I will be close to my family again and that is somethin I really look forward to. Thanks for the love!
its not letting me tag other bees???
i started my new therapy yesterday evenin. It was my first session with her so not a lot to say. I have 3 more schedule. I am also making an appt to meet with a nutritionist that can help me. I feel I have a really messed up relationshi with food. I need to start being kinder to myself.
I am also going to talk to my husband at our next dr appt. It’s on the 8th. We see a marriage counselor for his PTSD and mine (his from war mine from abuse)
My eating disorder could have played a part with my heart conditio, however my cardiologist really believes it is due to years of physical abuse from my ex. I lived an extremely stressed life. Terrified all the time. You never think something like that could effect your health so much.
I just wanted to say thank you again to everyone who who took the time to write me. Show support to me even though I am a stranger. It has given me a fresh want to really want to get better. I have been fortunate enough to survive a hard life and been given a second chance to live a good one. I am determined not to let this disease be apart of my new life!
Post # 33
gsdogs: we are actually stateside. He is with a specialized intelligence unit in DC. They are not allowed to wear uniforms. Enter their buildings with uniforms on etc. he’s allowed to grow a beard and be scruffy. They do a lot of stuff that involves shit I’m not even allowed to know about. It’s crazy. I am not American. (British) When we started living together I had to go through all of this stuff, background Ck etc. it was crazy.
Post # 34
Oh, that all makes more sense! I didn’t know he was career military though that makes sense since he is high ranking… (I’m not the most military savvy, ha) You are an amazing woman and I tip my that to you and your family! Sounds like a wonderful plan after he is done with actice duty.
I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers! So sad to hear about both of you having ptsd. Thank you for being strong.
He sounds like a gem and you sound like such a sweetheart and I really hope his deployments slow down and that you find the right help! <3
My husband will be going to Ft. Gordon in a few years when he goes to school for Signal Corp. maybe your Darling Husband will be one of his instructors! 😀
I have always dreamed of going to England! I hope you like the good old USofA! At least your close to the ocean… Currently we are in the desert! XD
That’s very cool. My Darling Husband always teases me on the weekends he’s going to go special ops just so he can have a long beard… 😉
Post # 35
Also, I’d suggest steering clear of some anorexia websites. Some are great, but many are not. I was enabled like crazy back in high school on a website pretty much giving me advice on how to be more anorexic. The only thing that would get me was when someone I’d talk to would disappear for months and when they came back they’d been in the hospital. Now whenever I want to slip back into old habits, I know all the tricks that make it easier. It seems a lot of ladies on here have gone through or are going through similar things and are always willing to lend an ear.
Post # 36
blahblahgirl: Not really, a Normal BMI starts at 126 lbs for that height.
Post # 37
Hi, bee! First of all, I am so sorry that you’re struggling with this. I’ve struggled with disordered eating for a long time, so I understand where you’re coming from. Remember that you are worthy of love and affection and that you are not a burden for taking up space. It sounds like you need to seek professional help, please do this. Good luck!
ETA: I missed the update, so glad you’re seeing a professional now. That’s fantastic!
Post # 38
gatordeb: BMI isn’t really accurate. It doesn’t factor in muscle mass, fat and body type. I also just typed in OP’s height and the weight you just stated and it showed it as being 18.1 which is underweight so I’m not sure what BMI calculator you are using.
While I am on the low end for my height, I have a high body fat % and not much muscle. So even though I show that I am almost “underweight” I am clearly not when you see me.
Post # 39
PilotsLocal: Well first off I just scoped out your pics in your profile and you are beautiful. Stunning for real! What you are seeing is definitely all in your head. Besides professional help all I can suggest is that you throw away your scale. You don’t need one in the house, just be rid of it. You may even feel liberated!
I would also suggest maybe finding another hobby that can take the place of your races etc. Maybe you could get some mild exercise by volunteering at an animal shelter and walking their dogs? I really think a new hobby would benefit you, try to find something that is mentally cahllenging. Best of luck!
Post # 40
nickels: thank you! That’s very kind of you! That is a great suggestio. I am a photographer and stylist and I actually do volunteer at my local SPCA. I photograph their long time puppies to help them find their Furever Home! I will definitely take your advice and love ok into finding something I can get involved in that lets me give back more. I am trying to put into perspective just how lucky I really am! Just doing it hour by hour right now!
Just to to let everyone know…. I have not gotten on my scale in two days. I wanted to toss it but my hubs uses it and he’s agreed to move it to his room down in the basement. (I never go there really) I have also not been realmy hard on myself about eating and I’ve just been trying to keep to a healthy diet and not beat myself up about where I am right now. I know I am not fat. I am pretty lean and tall, I just have no muscle tone anymore and feel so soft and that’s just hard for me. My mind just goes to that place where I start to think I am so fat. I just need to make a plan to get healthy at a healthy pace. I can’t hit the gym hardcore like I use too. I have to accept that I have limitations right now. However I’ve come a long way from where I was 3 years ago being pretty much bed ridden. I just need to cut myself a break. Learn to love myself the way my hubs, kids, family and friends do.