- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Let me give you the details.
My other half and I are having a destination wedding and cruising to our wedding spot. We will be paying for me, him, and both our moms.
Originally- we thought his mom and his sister (who we are not paying for) could room together and my mom alone. Until I found that if one person rooms alone the ticket price doubles. We thought there’s bound to be a way we can find someone else to go. He was very adamant that his mom and sister stay together because he didn’t want his mom to be comfortable. So he asked me to ask my mom to try and find a friend to come to lower her ticket price. I asked her this with also saying…. this friend must be a good family friend. I chose a destination wedding because I don’t want someones cousin’s boyfriend that I have never met at my wedding.
My mom had a potential friend. She said yes but didn’t ask dates or give her deposit.
Meanwhile, we thought what if we ask his sister to try and find a friend incase my mom couldn’t and then our moms could room together. Well his sister did. It is her best friend who is not someone I would ever associate myself with. She tends to get drunk a lot and make rude/inappropriate comments. She has also made inappropriate comments to my other half via FaceBook.
We have another family friend that heard about the wedding plans and wants to come so bad. She has known me since I was a little girl and would love to see me get married. (This is the type of person I want at my wedding)
So as it stands…
My mom + good family friend = Good ticket price
His mom = HIGH ticket price
His sister + her bff = A potential embarassment and 7 days at sea with her
My other half and I actually got in two arguements about this. He doesn’t want to hurt his sister’s feelings or tell her friend she can’t come now. He suggested I tell my family friend to get her own room and pay double the price which I am not doing since she is loved by my whole family, already has provided me with her deposit, and we could be getting rid of the sister’s friend who is already unliked by everyone.
I talked to my mom, my sister, and his mom and grandma about it yesterday. His mom and grandma hate his sister’s best friend and can’t believe I would allow her at my wedding or want to sail 7 days with her. All parties agree the rooms should go
My mom + good family friend
His mom + his sister
….and I tell his sister (here’s what I’ve practiced)
“Originally your brother and I were trying to figure out how to get both our mom’s lower ticket prices. We asked her to find a friend and then he asked you to find a friend. My mom has a commited family friend who has already provided me with her deposit and is so excited to be a part of his and I’s day.
I chose a destination wedding for reasons I have expressed to everyone. I want the people I love to see this special event and if I don’t know you, you don’t need to be there. Since we asked my mom to find someone first and she has and we are ready to book their room, we don’t need your friend to go to help us with ticket prices. I understand it would be fun for yall but the purpose of his trip is your brother and I getting married. If I haven’t met someone I don’t care to have them there- again, why I chose a destination wedding because I want it to be intimate.
It would be finanically best for us if you told her ‘thanks for being there for me if I needed it but I will be rooming with my mom now and the bride wants an intimate wedding with only people she knows and loves.'”
(I also have thought about throwing this is there if she isn’t understanding)
“We also have been supporting you for three months and it looks like you’ll be living in our house for much longer than planned. We are financially supporting you so by making this decision you will be helping a financial problem we are in right now. We haven’t asked you for anything in three months and your brother probably won’t ever because he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Since we haven’t asked anything from you thus far, I am now asking you for this… It is also our day and this is what I want.”
I am trying to not step on anyone’s toes or hurt anyone’s feelings but I also want to be happy- this is one day we will get.
Do I tell the sister what I said above?