Well, I’ll be straight-forward and honest about the fact that I wouldn’t let my parents get under my skin that much. Both my sister and I are fiercely independent and our family life is just not the same as yours, so I’m sure my two cents aren’t applicable in that area, so here are my thoughts on the waiting part:
1) I think S/O is very wise to want to live together before marriage, especially if neither of you has ever even lived outside your parents’ homes. It’s a BIG adjustment if you were doing it solo, let alone with your romantic partner. A million and one things (little AND big) will come up as you make your lives one in a new place that is 100% your responsibility, and at the very least it’ll result in some growing pains. At the worst, I’ve seen moving in together completely implode what were once happy, healthy relationships in that seeing each other every couple of days is nowhere NEAR the same as trying to share a bathroom with someone, and all the things that you thought were “cute” before drive you absolutely bat-sh*t crazy and lead to fights about deeper issues once they’re sort of pecking at you everysingle day. So, don’t take your S/O wanting to living together personally. I think it makes a lot of sense and recommend it to everyone.
2) Also don’t take it personally that he hasn’t proposed yet. I see this happen with a lot of couples who got together as babies — the idea of marriage and all that just sort of “sneaks up” on the guy over the years, because obviously that level of commitment wasn’t on his radar as a teenager, and guys tend to not fix what isn’t broken because, well, they’re guys. Moving into together is a HUGE step forward forward, so obviously he’s getting there and taking steps to make sure you’re in his life, but you’re also both extremely young (I cannot stress enough how much we change in our 20’s) so what’s the rush?
You can’t get married just to appease your parents. I know you love them, but I’m a firm believer that when a man and a woman marry they become a team, you and him against the world, and if you’re sure this is the man you want to spend your life with, then you need to put him and your relationship above all others and do what is right for the TWO OF YOU. No one else.
That’s always bound to ruffle some feathers where well-meaning but overbearing parents are involved, but guess what? Being an adult means making your own decisions, and only adults should get married.
Good luck, OP. Whatever happens I hope you find some peace in it and remember to look at the positives, the biggest one being that your S/O sounds AMAZING!