Stuck in a horrible relationship (very long)

posted 10 months ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1635 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Some things don’t quite add up but definitely go back to your family. They’ll understand. This guy is manipulative and controlling. Do you really want your child in an abusive situation?

Post # 3
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Please reach out to these organisations, which are based in QLD. I’m not sure where in QLD you are, so I’ll list as many as I can without being overwhelming.

You’re pregnant and unsafe in your current situation. Please leave, you’ll be safer leaving – make a plan to leave when he’s not home. Pack a crisis bag that has a copy of your ID, a spare set of clothes, a mobile charger and spare mobile if you can get one, plus any medicines that you absolutely need and leave it in a safe place that you know about.

http://www.domesticviolence.com.au/pages/domestic-and-family-violence-support-services.php

https://www.dvcairns.org/QDVSN%20Info.html

http://www.dvconnect.org/

http://qlddomesticviolencelink.org.au/court-network/

I know you’re scared, and I know it’s frightening when he’s destroyed who you are and all of your worth… but you’re better than this – you’re a strong person who is worthy of love and respect. Both of which you’re not getting now.

Please keep us updated and stay safe. CALL 000 IF YOU NEED TO GET OUT QUICKLY AND TELL THEM YOU’RE SCARED FOR YOUR LIFE AND YOU’RE PREGNANT

Post # 4
Member
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

sadandconfusedbride :  I thought you weren’t talking to your family so how could they try to talk you out of it?

No mention of the (presumably ex) fiancé that you cheated on while he’s in prison for drugs possession? Or the fact that the bf is his uncle? At least it appears your ex-FIs parents don’t want anything to do with you, which is more than fair.

There’s a lot of plot holes between your first post and this one but assuming you’re real and not a troll – you were given advice to leave last time. Take the advice or don’t. But for every post you make the responses will be the same. Don’t keep posting hoping for a different answer.

Post # 5
Member
867 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Okay, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re real here.

DON’T steal his money.  If you are imprisoned you could have your parental rights revoked and leave your baby entirely in his custody.  He isn’t a suitable parent and you’ll be constantly waiting for something horrible to happen.

In your shoes, I’d terminate this pregnancy.  Your situation doesn’t allow for effective parenting right now.  If you can’t bear to terminate, I’d look seriously at adoption.

Regardless, you need to leave.  By any means necessary.  if that’s a shelter or halfway house, then that’s what it is.

I recommend calling Anglicare South Queensland.  They can find you a temporary place to stay and help you start applying for help and support.  

Anglicare Southern Queensland
Ph: 1300 610 610
Accommodation and support for single women and women with children.

Post # 6
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Hi OP, it’s so hard to give advice given what happened with your previous post – lots of women giving you advice and predicting this outcome if you stayed with the predatory uncle, and you ignored it all. Now the situation is even worse as you are being abused. My advice is still the same – get out. Yes, it’s scary alone and a bad situation, but it’s just as scary and bad with him, only difference is it will just get worse and worse with him. If you leave you might be able to get your life together. You cannot bring a child into this terrible situation with an abusive alcoholic. 

Do not steal his money. It was stolen in the first place and will make you an accessory to that crime plus a second crime. Give up the lease by letting the landlord know you are leaving or following whatever cancellation procedure is in the contract. Use the resources for abused women above by PP rather than stealing his money and going at it by yourself. Get support from these NGOs. Do not wait for it to get even worse – it will. You are in for a tough time unfortunately, but you can get through it. Please be smart and get yourself and your baby out of this situation. What is happening with your studies now that you’ve moved? 

Post # 7
Member
2222 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Leave him. Don’t get involved in his criminal activity. This means don’t touch that money. You will go to jail. He will get caught & he is going to go to jail. 

Post # 8
Member
3504 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Leave.

Post # 9
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Let’s recap:

He loves to fight. He’s a bad parent (and you’re pregnant with his child). He’s annoyed by how you eat, clean and clothe yourself. He yells at you. He goes through your phone and social media. He keeps you from your friends and family. He kicks you out of the house. Your friends and family don’t want you to be with him. He doesn’t care about the child you’re having. He calls you names. He threatens physical abuse. He blames you for his actions. He’s an unemployed thief. He forced you away from your home. He gets physical with you. He compromises your safety. He manipulates you. He’s a drunk. 

I understand that you’re scared of being alone, but it’s time for some real talk. You are pregnant. It is no longer just about you. If you do not remove yourself from this situation, you have not only ruined your life, but the life of your unborn child. What kind of parent does that? You’re young, but you got yourself into this situation, now GET YOURSELF OUT OF IT. Leave. Just leave. Who cares if you’re not happy at your parents? At least you’re safe. Call them, call anyone. Just leave. 

Post # 10
Member
1156 posts
Bumble bee

seriously…. get out of there, and fast.

Post # 11
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Sorry, this story has gotten even more outrageous and just screams troll.  I mean, you’re in an abusive relationship, he controls your every move, you’ve been isolated away from your family but apparently this is better than moving back with them because….”you’re just not happy there”.   You can’t live with in-laws cause you screwed one son while waiting for the other to get out of jail…..hey who didn’t see that coming!  Not to mention, he’s stolen $20K (after or before being fired?) and put it in YOUR bank account and you think you can just walk away with the money all easy peasy like cause, ya know……..who’s gonna miss $20K?

 At first I thought you were delusional but now I think you’re just a poor YA writer.  You know maybe if you brought in sparkly vampires to save the day this would read much better. 

 Oooh, Ooooh how about avenging angels come down to save your unborn baby?  #ICAN’TEVEN , #ThisStorySucks

Post # 12
Member
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Well as he is your ex Fi’s uncle and you cheated on your Fiance to be with him and got pregnant by him I think he might think you are the cheating type which isn’t an unfair assumption. So your ex FI’s parents/ BF’s sibling kicked you out? How did the ex Fiance take it?

If ANY of this is true then go home to your parents.

Post # 13
Member
1256 posts
Bumble bee

Aren’t you the bride who was dating some drug addict and was living in his family’s house while he was in jail and started messing around with his uncle on the low and wound up pregnant? I think you’re delusional.

Post # 15
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I just hope this is a troll post.

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