(Closed) Stuck in the middle

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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raleighbride :  Don’t invite him. Your parents are hosting so you should respect their wishes. 

Your grandparents are wishing for a reconciliation between their children (even though it sounds like your mother is better off away from him), but YOUR wedding is not the time for THEIR agenda.

Post # 3
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Bell Tower on 34th

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raleighbride :  I totally agree with PP.  this exact thing happened at my wedding. Someone was hoping for a reconciliation. My wedding was not the place for it!  I would definitely respect your mom’s wishes!

Post # 4
1616 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Don’t invite him. I don’t invite my own brother and I don’t feel bad about it at all.

Post # 6
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I wouldn’t personally. But I may be the wrong person to ask because I didn’t invite a single member of my entire family to my wedding…or even TELL them about it. I’m estranged from my abusive parents – and the rest of my family by association.

Post # 7
7240 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Do not invite him. It doesn’t matter what the relationship is. My grandmother is a very difficult person who goes through people’s belongings and brings chaos everywhere she goes. I love her and she is coming to my wedding but I told my mother that she absolutely may not stay at our house. Period and non-negotiable. My mother pushed back about it several times but I held my ground. This is part of the agreement for my grandmother to be there.

Boundaries are our friends. Your grandparents can welcome their son to their home anytime they want. Your wedding is not the time to stage a reunion with someone who is toxic.

Post # 8
2979 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Add another to the no list. Sounds like drama waiting to happen!

Post # 9
779 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

It sounds like your grandparents are looking for a reconciliation on your parents’ dime. Sorry, grandma.

Both my fiance and I are estranged from one family member (on each side). Neither of these people were ever on the guest list. Both sets of parents and siblings tried to pull guilt trips, but we weren’t having it. Fortunately, you have your parents on your side!

Stay strong–you won’t regret it! 

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