Studying for certification exam with a newborn… am I insane?

posted 3 months ago in Babies
Post # 61
Member
7104 posts
Busy Beekeeper

gollum :  it’s great to share your experience that you were able to do a lot of things in addition to breastfeeding and childcare because new moms should see the spectrum of experiences, but please don’t say other moms are “ridiculous” for not being able to do more than take care of the baby. Everyone is different and that attitude is what makes new moms who aren’t running marathons 3-weeks post birth feel like they are somehow failing. Personally I really struggled with breastfeeding and I was determined to make it work in spite of well-meaning family telling me to quit because formula would be easier. It took ALL of my time and mental fortitude to get my kid fed and gaining weight (she was early-term with jaundice). Other moms would have quit rather than triple-feed round the clock for 2 months, but I didn’t and I’m really proud that I went on to nurse my child for 20 months.  I wasn’t rebuilding my house but I wasn’t being lazy either like your post implies. 

There is enough mom-shaming in the world, don’t be a part of the problem. 

Post # 63
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

MrsGirlyGirl :  

Hey OP, based on the wording of your original post you seem aware that this will be hard – I think the most important thing is that you know yourself. Will you be more upset at not having tried? Or, in the event you fail, will you be regretful that you spent this time studying instead of just focusing 100% on your baby? I don’t think this is a question any of us can really answer for you. From your responses in this thread it seems like you’re leaning more toward the former. I’m 9 months pregnant with my first so I don’t know for sure, but like a lot of people in this thread have mentioned, a lot of women push themselves through worse.

If you set your mind to it, I’m sure you can do it! Get as much done in advance as you can and then work when you’re able once the baby comes. It probably won’t be a walk in the park, but it sounds like it’s worth it to you!

Post # 64
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I wasn’t saying that any of you are ridiculous for not running marathons etc with a newborn. Reread my post. I was definitely NOT mom-shaming! I was speaking directly to her (my comment was directed straight at her, not anyone else). What I found ridiculous was a hundred people telling her that her dream and her plan are going to fail…. including the zingers here and there about missing precious time (that I found to be mom-shaming).

i am sorry some of you had difficult births/feeders/sleepers but I don’t have to be sorry that I didn’t, and we don’t have to tell her she’s insane for not expecting the worst. 

Post # 65
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

MrsGirlyGirl :  maybe the reason you got so many negative comments was because anyone who didn’t have a hard time was scared to say so and get jumped all over for bragging 

 

Post # 66
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

IF her baby DOES NOT have latch issues, she can study instead of watch TV. Sorry, I didn’t know that was an issue. I used the Mad Men thing off the cuff. I apologize 

Post # 68
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s hard to say, like others have said it depends on how you feel and how content your baby is. 

When mine was a newborn I couldn’t  even make a cup of coffee. I put the capsule in the machine and pressed the button but forgot to put a cup underneath so it just dripped everywhere 🤦🏽‍♀️

But hopefully you won’t be as dippy as me 😃

Post # 69
Member
678 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I’m a full time PhD student with a one year old, and those first few weeks I had absolutely no brain power to study. My son was prem, colicky, in NICU for a while, and we had latch and supply issues so I spent most of my time trying to soothe or feed him. If your baby sleeps well from early on and you have no latch or supply issues it might be doable. But in my experience studying while working is MUCH easier than studying with a newborn. Whatever you decide to do, just be kind to yourself. If it turns out your hormones are out of control, your baby is higher needs than you imagined, or you aren’t getting enough sleep to remember anything, you need to be willing to stop studying and focus on taking care of yourself instead. I felt so unintelligent those first 3 months because I could barely sleep, my hormones made my memory complete shit, and I was dealing with ppd and ptsd. But at around 6 months I was able to really get back into my studies and am doing well again. If you end up being able to do it, great! But I think you need to be realistic and be ready to listen to your support people if they think you are pushing too hard . 

Post # 70
Member
9074 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

it depends.  i got a lot more done with a newborn and toddler (my kids are 20 months apart) than with just a newborn.  i had no idea what i was doing and was exhausted all the time with my first.

so i don’t know exactly what it entails. but i don’t see why you couldn’t.

Post # 71
Member
801 posts
Busy bee

I think you can certainly make a plan to prep for the November plan. But just know that you won’t really know what’s possible until the baby is here. You could have a NICU stay or go home healthy the next day. You could have an easy deliver or an emergency CS and a rough recovery. You could have an easy baby or a colicky high needs baby. You could think you won’t regret not snuggling your newborn in your pjs all day or you might after those post pregnancy hormones kick in. You could also end up with PPD or multiple rounds of mastitis.  The point is – new mama’s have no idea what they’re walking into until the baby is here.  Everyone has a different experience and from this thread you can see that clearly! 

 

So make a plan but dont beat yourself up if you have to throw it out the window. Personally, I think it would be easier to prep for the Spring exam. At 4 or 5 moths, my kiddo was sleeping 10ish hours a night so I could leave work early to be home by 5-5:30 to see him and eat family dinner and then get my laptop back out at 8 after he went to bed and work for another 3-4 hours. That would have been impossible during the early newborn weeks. 

Post # 72
Member
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

lahela017 :  I think that’s totally reasonable, but it’s not what (some) people on this thread have been saying. They’ve been saying it’s “not possible”, “not reasonable” and “insane”. 

It’s one thing to say “I would have really struggled and this is why.” It’s another to say: “It’s not possible. You can’t do it and you’ll be missing out on ‘precious time’ with your baby if you try” and a good few people have been saying the latter.

Hope that clarifies x

Post # 73
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

shanmia :  previous time here. I didn’t say “You can’t do it and you’ll be missing out on ‘precious time’ with your baby if you try.”

Post # 74
Member
549 posts
Busy bee

I think it’ll be difficult but it depends on you and your baby. Breastfeeding was important to me and the first 4-6 weeks were rough as we were navigating these new waters. My DS is 3.5 months old now so we’ve gotten into a routine but I wouldn’t want to take time away from him to study because our time together is of utmost importance to me. Since you said you’re less of a cuddly person then it might be easier for you. 

Post # 75
Member
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

cherryberrypie :  I wasn’t claiming to quote you, I was paraphrasing the points raised by a number of people on this thread.

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