(Closed) Stumbled on his Porn…

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 4
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Unless they go to the fetish section, most guys will be watching porn with really toned girls with giant boobs and great butts. Girls that also do some things that no real woman would do with that umm vigor and excitement? (and how any guy thinks that those are real orgasms I don’t understand…). 

He loves you. Do you have a healthy sex life? Does he love being with you naked and enjoying all that you have to offer sexually? If yes, then I really really really wouldn’t let this get to you.  Honestly, from my own taste in porn I can say that it really does not reflect AT ALL what I want from my Fiance or how I feel about him.

This is just one of those times that your own self-consciousness is getting in the way and making you jump to conclusions about your DH/your relationship–try to remember that this really is just not what the truth is!

Post # 5
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Might a talk about it (not that you found it) but just that while you’re not against him watching, and even though you know he loves you, etc, etc, you just worry sometimes that he might prefer that ideal porn body. I know my SO watches and I don’t really like it (not against porn, but sort of the same feelings as you…if you have a girlfriend, then WHY!?) but he often will say something about the ridiculousness of porn (the setting, the “characters,” the noises) and how it’s something that is fantasy and not something he wants at all. Sometimes I think he says things like, “oh, I’d rather be with you than those girls, who probably have a ton of Save-The-Date Cards anyway,” probably because he knows women can feel insecure about it and doesn’t want me to feel insecure about my body and what he might think of it. Your Darling Husband might not realize it affects you so….

Post # 7
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@shambley:  Hope you’re feeling better! One big cure for this? Get naked, walk into the room he is in, and go surprise and seduce your husband! When you see him jump up to get you, you will remember how much he LOVES that body of yours!

Post # 8
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My Fiance had this kind of super hot girl porn porn photos in his “photos” file on our chared computer, and I just made a couple of comments about it being in my face all the time and he quietly deleted it one day.

Which to me said he liked me more than the porn lol.

I have no advice, except I guess talk to him to say how you feel so he knows, because he cant fix it unless he knows.

Post # 9
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m a plus size woman. I can without a doubt guarantee that Darling Husband does not look at plus size porn. He looks at “normal” porn that normally features thin, toned and perky women. It’s just the way it is and it’s never bothered me. I’ve always had body issues and I’m not comfortable in my own skin but I know that my husband loves every inch of me. The women in the pornos aren’t real. I’m the one he married because I’m the one he wants. I’d try not to look so far into it. Coming from someone with similar body issues (though I wish I could say I dropped 120 lbs! Congrats on that!), it’s not worth it to get yourself worked up. If it really does bother you then I would talk to him but unless you’re going to be one of those wives who bans porn in your home, it’s almost always going to feature these types of girls.

Post # 10
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My Fiance and I are in a LDR and see each other about every 2 months (thank god it’s ending in April!). I know he watches porn and I don’t blame him because we obviously only have sex every couple months. The girls on those site are always smaller and tighter and perkier than I will EVER be but just because he’s watching them in porn doesn’t mean that is the type of girl he wants to be with! I have learned to be ok with the porn but I do sometimes wish I was the only girl he ever watched. The best advice I can give you is to talk to him about it. If you weren’t snooping around in his stuff then don’t be shy to tell him you found his porn and it makes you a little bit uncomfortable. He is your husband and you should be able to talk about those things. Always remember that he married YOU for YOU. He loves you just the way you are! 

Post # 11
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@theredhead:  So lucky… we’ve been LDR for FOREVER seeing each other every 3 months or so roughly…doesn’t end until August πŸ™

Post # 12
Member
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Also, think of it this way.  Does your Darling Husband look like the men in pornos?  Is he hung like those men?  It goes both ways…porn is unrealistic.  It’s visually stimulating, but if you put too much thought into it, it’s actually quite silly.  I bought one for Darling Husband and I to watch together…it was plugged as being great for couple to watch together.  It was so ridiculous, though, that it ended up being more amusing than arousing, which was probably NOT what they were going for! Laughing

Post # 13
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@love108:  I know how you feel πŸ™ We are going on two years and it has felt like the longest two years ever!! August is much closer than you think and these last few months will fly by! πŸ™‚ 

Post # 14
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My fiance always got Playboy delivered to his bachelor pad while we were dating, and one time I went ahead and asked him what his favorite part of the naked chick is, thinking it would be “boobs” or “face”, or hell, even “bush”.  His answer? 

… their toned, flat stomachs.

Heartbreak ensues.  Considered plus size at the time, I did not have a toned, well, anything on my body.  I’m a very confident person and always have been, but this kind of stung.  How could he possibly find me attractive when its the first thing he oogles when nudie magazine day arrives?  But you know what, he loves ME, all of me.  He thinks I’m gorgeous, flaws and all.  I’m a normal human woman who doesn’t model for a living and he knew this before he committed to our relationship… just like your husband.  I can guarantee he’s plenty happy with YOU next to him at night, and he wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Fantasies are just that.  Some people look at porn that is so wildly different from anything they’d ever consider in their real lives, and this is no different.  Its just a visual.  You’ve got nothing to worry about!

Post # 15
Member
3360 posts
Sugar bee

@KristenGotMarried:  @bearlove:  Exactly what those 2 wonderful bees have said ! πŸ™‚ Keep your head up high sweetie ! He might look at them from time to time.. but he MARRIED you ! πŸ™‚ 

Post # 16
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Like all the other bees have said before, He loves YOU! But I totally understand where you’re coming from. Its hard to feel special in that particular moment but if you weren’t special he wouldn’t want to spend the rest of his life you; And he does! And hey- maybe he’s just looking for a new move to show ya! ;D

Best of luck!

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