Stumped about possible proposal date.

posted 4 months ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
33 posts
Newbee

Ugh definitely in the same boat!! My boyfriend also wants the proposal to be a “surprise” lol however we designed a ring together and I know it is shipping to us on August 28th and our timeline is the end of the year as well. That said, my family is coming to visit us in mid-October, which they have yet to do in the nearly three years we’ve been together (we usually go to them), and we’ve had multiple conversations that it would be awesome to be engaged before then so we could celebrate with both our parents all together! 

I still have absolutely no idea when he will do it within the span of those 6 weeks though – we don’t have any “special” dates in that time and nothing planned trip-wise, so he really is giving nothing away

 

Good luck Bee, keep us updated! 

Post # 3
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2021

I’m totally in the same boat! He has his grandmother’s diamond and he claims to have found a jeweler or two to work with. I got sized at a store and we will get a second opinion next week. So he needs to pick a setting.

Our anniversary is next month, then we’ll have New Year’s, my birthday, and Valentine’s all in succession. I don’t think the ring will be ready for our anniversary, so that leaves later in the fall or winter as possibilities. Now that I have an idea of the timeline, I feel I can participate in these waiting threads a lot more.

Post # 4
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I’m no longer waiting, but I was torn too! I wanted to know things were progressing but didn’t want to know too much- though that was also because I knew he wanted to surprise me.

I started to feel “ready” at about a year in. He first mentioned engagement at 2 months, since we were saying that it felt like we had been together longer, like 6 months. He then asked if we could get engaged at 4 months since “by then it will feel like a year”. I was like wtf no. But I felt pretty sure he was the one around 5-6 months in, just didn’t want to rush. I decided the absolute earliest I would even consider saying yes was 8 months, but preferred it be at least a year. Considering his comment and his personality, I worried he would propose too soon!

Well…. turns out his words were definitely spoken in the honeymoon phase, and when I was ready, he still wasn’t sure. This caused me a great deal of distress, but over the course of 6 months (and many conversations), we reached a compromise. I had chilled out and he seemed to be thinking more and more seriously about it. 

A couple of times, I saw he was looking at rings. They popped up in an open tab on his phone, for example. Then his friend and I were chatting, and talking about how I wanted to go visit a friend in Georgia. His friend says “aren’t you guys already traveling a lot this fall?” I said no, not that I knew of. And his friend says “well, I’m not supposed to say anything but… he’s taking you on a trip in November”. I cut him right off and said don’t breathe another word of this to me. It’s supposed to be a surprise so I don’t want to know! If he knows you told me, he’ll cancel the trip, and I would very much like to go on it!!” Couldn’t believe he was going to spill the beans like that. A few weeks later, my boyfriend admitted he was planning a trip. He hadn’t wanted to tell me (at all), but I had fall classes. He refused to tell me when, but told my boss, who eventually told me, so I knew. I was pretty sure he was going to propose on the trip! And just a few months before, I saw him looking at rings on his phone.

Well, a family trip rolls around and my sister got engaged! I was shocked as she wasn’t expecting it- he kept telling her it wasn’t happening on that trip and she accepted it. No one told me because they were worried I might ruin it. So that was a huge surprise! I was the teensiest bit bummed as I wanted us to be there so badly as well, but also figured I could wait the 3-4 months pretty patiently. We all went out to dinner to celebrate and took a family hike the next day. I got annoyed at my boyfriend for hiking ahead (he gets excited and just disappears- he wasn’t even visible for the last half hour. Scolded him a little for leaving me behind then said “ok let’s take pictures now”. He says ok and next thing I know he’s saying nice things (quite unlike him, he shows love through actions not words) and music is playing and I’m like wtf… wait, what?? Is he proposing now?!?! And… yup!!! I couldn’t believe it. My whole family knew apparently. Sister’s fiancé was recording. I was super surprised- the combo of thinking it was the November trip and the fact that my sister had *just* gotten engaged the day before (thank God she didn’t mind and we are both not the competitive type!) all through me off tremendously. Here I am thinking he’s just starting to look at rings and he has one. Thinking he *might* propose a few months later. Thinking I already knew when to expect it because others had spilled the beans. Lol.

I honestly thought he wouldn’t be able to surprise me. I thought I would have to pretend it was unexpected. But he got me!! I found out later he had been planning to propose on the November trip, but then also liked the idea of my family being there and didn’t want to wait- so the night before, he decided it was the next day on the hike. My family was surprised but also excited and gave nothing away. It was honestly great and I’m so glad he didn’t make me wait longer!

It really was a fun time, I’m glad you are enjoying your time! My guy was also extra lovey-dovey, it was the best!! My best advice is to be excited about what you know but resist asking/digging for info! I had fun clues and those made me so happy (seeing the ring tab open had me feeling on top of the world for months lol) but the fact that he did surprise me was super fun too and I’m glad I didn’t go seeking out information. What a fun time for you! โ˜บ๏ธ

Post # 5
Member
723 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I’d rather have a vague idea than to be completely surprised because the only way I’d be completely surprised is if he barged in while I was sitting on the toilet.

Post # 6
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

I’m so glad i stumbled upon this new thread. I am sort of in the same boat. My bf and i designed the ring and he picked it up on July 17th, 2019. He wants to surprise me with the proposal, and he’s waiting for until i let my guard down…as I’ve been pretty much on guard and dressing up whenever we go out….in anticipation of the proposal. He wants it to be a surprise. It’s tough, he knows i know where the ring is… he’s not really hiding it. He trusts me that I will not open the box. Ladies, it has been VERY hard not to open the box ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Last week, it took me and drove by a nice  secluded park with water and a dock. It was beautiful. Not sure why we drove by there, had me thinking for a second lol. He knows i don’t want to get engaged during the holidays (Thanksgivin, Christmas, New Years,  Valentine’s). I want it to be random. 

we are going to NYC next Saturday. I mentioned that I hope it happens then. He told he it’s not going to happen then as he’s not traveling 3 hours and be in the city with something expensive. That makes sense. Oh well, the wait continues…. 

I’m turning to you ladies for support ๐Ÿ˜Š

Post # 11
Member
33 posts
Newbee

I’m in the same boat! Patiently waiting and my thoughts seem to be consumed when and where it could be. I want to be surprised too so it’s definitely a catch-22. I was away this weekend with my girlfriends and it definitely helped ease my nerves. My advice. Keep yourself busy and hang out with your friends! They’ll distract you for the time being. Best of luck staying sane!

Post # 13
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

laurana1 :  Your story is the best! I sent you a message btw. ๐Ÿ™‚

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