Post # 1
My mother and I have always brought out the worst in eachother and it seems the impending wedding has only amplified it… I am doing a lot of DIY projects leading up to the day of, none of which I have implicated her in (since she was adament that she doesn’t want any responsibilities). So I figured she might be able to help me out by ordering parts of the sweet table from a local greek bakery: not a chance.
Today I asked her if she would pick up my Mother-In-Law & her parents on the day of the wedding since she will be passing by both their homes and will have an empty car… HA! She doesn’t want the stress…
I’m so frustrated: She refuses to acknowledge that any stress she takes on would be a FRACTION off my plate. I know I should stop asking her to do things, seeing as how it has been so unproductive, but then she tells me “Just tell me where I have to be (for makeup & photos) and I’ll be there”. I can feel it already that she’s going to have a problem once I give her an appointment.
Do any of you have unreliable/uncooperative parents? Should we just give up and let them do their thing? Is it unreasonable for me to want a bit of GD support?!
Post # 3
Are you an only child, or the first to get married?
Post # 4
@MrsRugbee: it depends on your relationship. My mother is the same, always has been and always will. I have the urdge to ask her to help or partake in traditional pre wedding things with me, but I rememebr that she never will be like other mothers and I have to refrain. She’d just hold it over my head anyway.
I know it’s hard to not have a mom who wants to be there. Try not to dwell on it or let it get to you. For your own sake, stop asking. It hurts to be let down by am unexcited mom. Belive me, I know 🙁
Post # 5
@ViaMinorViator: I’m the eldest & first to get married.
You’re right: not asking seems like the better solution. It’s just hard sometimes… because between 2 reasonable people these kinds of requests shouldn’t lead to confrontation.
Although perhaps the most frustrating of all are her poorly thought out comments. A month ago she was looking at a house that Mr Rugbee & I clearly couldn’t afford and told me “Why don’t you call off the wedding and buy this place with the money you’d save.” Yeah mom… I’ve already payed almost 5 grand in deposits: Lets call everything off…