Post # 1
hi everyone, need some advice, not so much on what to do but how to “get over it” lol as its really bothering me!!
when we got engaged I asked 3 of my friends (one i wish i didnt really ask now 🙁 ) but anyway, 3 bridemaids, and my man was gonna ask 2 of his closest friends but tossing up between 2 other good friends for the 3rd groomsman.
now hes told me he only wants the 2 guys hes asked, and doesnt want anyone else.
now i understand that they are his good friends and he shouldnt have someone else he doesnt really want, but I DONT WANT UNEVEN NUMBERS IN THE BRIDAL PARTY!!!
im a very structured person and like things even – and i think whose gonna walk down the aisle with the 3rd bridemaid once we are married, whose gonna dance with her for that special dance when were on the dancefloor, who do i choose to be the odd one out withone anyone….the pictures being taken etc etc,
its so stupid isnt it. i just need advice on how to get over this!! cos its bothering me but i dont think i can ask my fiancee to have someone else he doesnt really want there.
Post # 3
Well it’s easy when they walk down the aisle you could go the traditional route and have the groomsmen wait with the groom and bridesmaids walk down alone. This is the traditional way and at the end when they walk out together I promise no one will notice the last bridesmaid being alone because they’re so into the bride and groom! Pictures? Well just mix is up! Have him pick one usher that won’t stand at the front of the church but can be in a few pictures. Then you get your even pictures and he can have some pictures that have only his close friends.
But really, I know it’s hard and you want everything to be perfect but this is a small bump. Let this one go, or ask if he can pick an Usher for a few pictures. Don’t get too worked up because that is the last thing you’ll remember from your big day!
Post # 4
I am normally very structured about these types of things too — I won’t get a wedding band because it will make my ring unbalanced LOL!
But, I totally ended up going with an uneven wedding party. It will be 3 BMs, 4 to 6 GMs. It just ….fit right to me because of the people involved. I have seen it many times now since I made the decision and now I am feeling better. So it doesn’t “fit” with the numbers but it “fits” because it’s the right people, is how I view it.
My Fiance however, hated the idea and tried to convince me to pick people willy nilly to fill in. I was horrified by the idea and said no way. I am really glad you are considering your FI’s feelings in this respect. The good news with GMs is they don’t need nearly as much notice, so you could even change your mind over the next few months if you grow closer to someone and feel they may be a good fit.
Post # 5
I’ve seen lots of weddings on here lately with uneven numbers. Many of them have one Groomsmen exit with a Bridesmaid or Best Man on each arm – makes for some cute photos! Not sure how to solve the dance issue, but walking out is easy!
Post # 6
When you get an idea in your head like “wedding parties are supposed to be balanced” it can be really hard to get that idea out. But I’m really glad that you’re making the right decision about not forcing your guy and looking for solutions. Here are some suggestions:
- Your girls are adults and one can walk in the recessional by herself. Or she can walk with the flower girl/ring bearer. Or the officiant.
- I’ve never seen the bridesmaids and groomsmen dancing together and I’ve been to dozens of weddings. I know it happens in some weddings but it isn’t necessary at all.
- Your photographer will know how to position all your wedding party so it looks great and well balanced.
Post # 7
We had an uneven wedding party. I had 3 BMs and Darling Husband had 4 Groomsmen. It worked out fine, and I wouldn’t have asked someone who I didn’t want in the wedding just to fill space. All of the girls walked down the aisle by themselves, and after the ceremony, one Bridesmaid or Best Man walked with two guys.
Post # 8
I am a huge fan of uneven wedding parties. I will have 8 BMs and my fiance will have 9 people on his side- including his 4 sisters! It is one of my favorite things about our wedding and his sisters are so excited to be standing on his side.
As far as your concerns go, I agree with some of the other brides and I actually prefer the groomsmen (in my case his sisters also) to walk in with the groom. And then the bridesmaids to walk in before the bride.
I think the wedding party dance is a little out dated- I’m not sure if everyone in your wedding party knows each other or not, but either way, forcing people to slow dance for 3+ minutes with someone they may have nothing in common with is just uncomfortable. If you are set on a Wedding Party dance, what about doing a faster song? Where everyone can dance together as a group…
And make sure to let your photographer know about the uneven numbers and they should come prepared with some great ideas.
Overall, its nothing to fret about. You said that you have one Bridesmaid or Best Man that you may or may not still want in your wedding, well think about how your fiance would feel if he is forced to ask someone to be in his wedding that he doesn’t want simply to make your pictures even…
Post # 9
1 person off doesn’t bother me. If it were 10 BM’s and 2 Groomsmen, that would make me crazy. Of course, just because 1 person has more close friends doesn’t mean you should just ask random people.
Post # 10
Don’t sweat it. It doesn’t matter. If it actually is driving you to crazy town you have these options:
1. Make Fi throw in another person
2. Kick out a Bridesmaid or Best Man
3. Throw a random relative up there
4. Get over it
Post # 11
Why is Fiance so against asking a 3rd guy? I always thought GMs never did much anyway, all the guy would have to do is wear a suit and escort the 3rd Bridesmaid or Best Man.
I agree with PPs that the bridal party dance is unnecessary, but I do agree with you that symmetry is nice (for the ceremony and photos). If it’s because he doesn’t want to pick between 2 friends, is there a male relative on your side who could stand in?
Post # 12
for the walk in – the groomsmen will be waiting up at the alter with the groom for sure, and the bridemaids will walk alone, then i will come, so that wont be a problem,
its more the 3 bridemaids next to me and the 2 groomsmen – it will look funny!! lol. i know im being ridiculous. but you guys are helping me to see sense.
i think ill flag the dance. which makes me feel better.
i actually thought when the bridemaids/groomsmen walk back down the aisle (not in a church but in a garden) after we are married, for the last bridemaid my brother could jump up (he will be at the front on the end) and walk down with her – they know each other.
its just i hate uneven stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRR!!!
Post # 13
@lilarose: Do you have any siblings/familia that could fill in the spot if it makes you crazy town?
Post # 14
Uneven bridal party here as well, I have 5 Bridesmaid or Best Man, he has 4 Groomsmen. Who cares, it will all work out fine.
Post # 15
I know how you feel! I was a bit concerned at the beginning as I have 6 Bridesmaid or Best Man and there are 4 Groomsmen. It bugged me until I just started to remind myself what the wedding party is there for. They are there to support you, and celebrate your marriage by standing up there with you while you tie the knot! Just keep reminding yourself of that and eventually the lack of even-ness won’t seem like such a huge deal anymore. Also I know I’d feel pretty good about being a bridesmaid if I got to walk back with a guy on each arm 🙂
Post # 16
@paula1248: not really – the 2 friends he was tossing up with – 1 is a compulsive liar, has never been nice to me and is very manipulative so he has decided to cut him, and the other guy i love hes such a good friend and a ncie guy but fiancee finds him annoying, like when they are getting ready on the wedding day he will be annoying – does things like steals your wallet – you ask for it back and he pretends he hasnt got it for ages, just stupid stuff like that that my fiancee doesnt want to put up with on the day.
so i can understand that. but there is another friend my fiancee plays sport with who i think would be a good pick.
i just dont like the uneven numbers look. but i cant ask him to have someone he doesnt want