(Closed) Stupid question perhaps…

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: When to gift?
    Wedding : (2 votes)
    3 %
    Shower : (14 votes)
    18 %
    Both : (59 votes)
    78 %
    Never, you two don't get along anyway... : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    if youre tight for money a thoughtful but cheap gift would suffice for the shower and the “real gift” for the wedding. Seeing how she’s your sister- I would think there are several good keep sake freebie (or very cheaply) ideas can be construed with a little thought on your part.

    Post # 4
    Member
    9482 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @vmec:  Agreed.

    Post # 5
    Member
    817 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

    Technically you’re supposed to give something at both. If money is tight, however, and you can only give one gift, I would do it at the shower. That’s when everyone is there watching her open presents, so it would be more obvious if you were there and didn’t bring anything. Gifts are sort of the point of the shower anyway. You can always explain to your sister later that money is super tight and you are not sure you can do anything more for her, so she’s not disappointed/angry after the wedding. And you have a year after the wedding anyway, maybe you can just get them something off their registry later?

    Post # 6
    Member
    2616 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    all my bridal party both on the girl side and boy side didnt give gifts at the wedding. the girls how ever did get me gifts for the shower.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1715 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    If your hosting the shower I dont see the need to give her a big gift then but just something cute and funny. You can even put something together like a “bridal survival package” for her day off or a if the “wedding stress hits you package” which can all be done for a good price. Like a cheap bride Tshirt with a normal bridal survival package for the first or a bottle a wine and a book to chill out with or something for her wedding stress.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2863 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think the shower would be the time to do it. Sorry she’s not being very understanding of your situation, that sucks. Don’t stress though, I’m sure you are far from the first person who has been in this postion. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    3580 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @soontobeMrsBoo:  Someone pulled etiquette handbook and it’s 6 months, fyi.

    I said shower only.  I think I, as a bride, would much rather you put the entire financial resource into one gift and open it in front of you/let you get the credit than split it up over two so-so gifts. But I also wouldn’t expect a gift from someone going through financial hardship.  😉

    Post # 13
    Member
    3078 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Honestly, my favorite gift from my shower was a bottle of wine that a friend gave me along with a cute robe and some slippers.  My other favorite was a “little black apron” that my grandma got for me.  If it makes you feel any better, none of my bridesmaids, Future Mother-In-Law, or Future Sister-In-Law got me gifts for my shower.

    Post # 14
    Member
    11366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    @hiroshymatetrastar:  

    What do you think your sister means by her comment that you are putting your house before her wedding? I’m not sure I even understand the thinking behind her saying such a thing. As long as you are able to fulfill your commitments to be in her wedding (i.e. to be there the day of, in the agreed upon dress and other attire), I don’t think she has a right to EXPECT you to make any additional financial contributions. Two of the wonderful women in my bridal party who hosted and paid for my amazing shower did not give me gifts over and above the gift of my shower itself, and I’m sure they spent a lot of money to host such a beautiful event for me. Likewise, several of the individuals in our bridal party did not give us wedding gifts over and above their generous gifts of being IN our wedding, which represented a significant investment from them as it was. Although some of our friends and family chose to give us gifts over and above their participation in our wedding, those who did not or could not do this still gave us so much just by being there for us. Sometimes couples seem to forget that, although gifts are customary and greatly appreciated, they are not required and should not ever be “expected.”

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