I WOULD be having the same problem IF I were masochistic enough to actually ask my minister to marry us – which I’m not. Lol. I’m currently under discipline, next in line for excommunication, because I stopped going to church and started living with my fiance. I guess it’s not relevant to them that the reason I stopped going to church is because everybody there was an asshat to my fiance when I brought him around, or that we live together because it used to be a long distance relationship, and who the hell wants to pay rent twice just for the privilege of a shorter drive? I’m sure the church wasn’t going to give us that money. Whatever. We’ll get us a JoP and be done with it.
To be honest, that’s probably what we would have done anyway – my church’s weddings are super boring: there’s a near full-length sermon, reading of the marriage forms (no joke – they read the effing forms; kill me), and all kinds of other traditional mumbo-jumbo I’m sure I don’t even know about because I didn’t bother to ask. We also never planned on geting married in a church anyhow, so the officiant’s denomination is of little importance to us.
I’m pretty sure that most religious officiants are going to require marriage prep classes, though. That’s part of what it takes to get married in an actual church, officiant aside. Six weeks seems steeper than I expected, but I’m sure it varies. Can you find a church in your area that has a sister-church in your wedding’s area? I’m sure they would let you take the classes at the Hawaii branch and be married by a California officiant. If it doesn’t matter that much to you which denomination it is, I’m sure there’s at least one or two that have mainland sisters. Ask the Presbyterians – I find them to be pretty easy-going most of the time, and they’re everywhere! 😛
EDIT: @CoffeeHound: As far as why cohabitation is bad – it’s technically not a sin. There’s nothing wrong with living with another person. However, the Church teaches against cohabitation because it leads to premarital sex, which is a sin.
Let me start by making it very clear that I have no desire or intention to get into a relgious argument with anyone. I’m beyond tired of them by now (see earlier in my post), but I would like to point out how frigging dangerous it is to make a generalized statement like this. And I’m not saying you’re wrong, because you’re not – that is definitely their crazy-ass reasoning, you’re one-hundred percent correct. But I think people say things like that to justify something stupid, and they don’t realize how far that kind of nonsense can go.
My church does not allow DANCING in their halls or affiliated schools because dancing leads to sex. No wine either. No wine, at a church wedding. No dancing. Because it might lead to sex. Nobody likes to point out to them how many Bible verses tell about King David and other fabulous Biblical figures dancing their happy asses off or anything, not to mention how many of them glorify wine, because embarrassing your deacons is also somehow a sin or whatever. It’s kind of ridiculous that people allow other people to pick something they don’t like and call it evil just because it might indirectly begin a random chain of events that could potentially (not definitely) eventually end with a sin. If that were the case, nobody should be allowed to have birthday parties or go to high school or eat effing Taco Bell (we all know what goes on in those parking lots, don’t lie), but none of those things are keeping any of us from being married.
*sigh* Reason #4,832 why I was less than upset when I got my disciplinary letter.