(Closed) Stupid stupid wedding. What a complete and utter waste of time and money!!!!!

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
4562 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Sorry you feel that way.

Post # 4
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Well, aren’t you Merry Sunshine? I would say all that matters at the end of the day is that you’re married, but hell, you’re still not, so..

Post # 6
255 posts
Helper bee

When I think of the actual day of my wedding, it wasn’t worth the time or money but he big picture was. Of course i bonded with my mom and friends over it. I’m so sorry to hear your experience was so different. 

Post # 8
1503 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Gwendolyn88:  Maybe you should focus on some of the positives.  Surely the entire thing wasn’t a giant grumpy mess.  If that is truly the case, then it seems like you let your own stress get the better of you.

And not sure if it’s the same where you live, but in my state the fancy “marriage license” that you sign day of is just a souvenir.  The actuall marriage license is the one you apply for ahead of time and your officiant signs and mails in.

Post # 10
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery

Gwendolyn88:  wow. You really gave me an eye-opener. Firstly, I’m sorry you feel this way and that your experience was so unfortunate. But This is what I’m afraid of. I’m afraid of not being able to enjoy my wedding day because I have a tendency of focusing on the negative and being anxious. I hope your thoughts become more positive regarding your wedding day. I don’t want to feel this way about mine. I’m going to work harder at trying to see the positive in my wedding  experience. Thank you for sharing yours. 

Post # 11
9814 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Well geez that sounds terrible. You can’t find any warm and fuzzies that your friends and family came, some of them long distance To support you publically declaring your love for FI? 

Surely you wanted this because you did it- and are doing it again!? You can’t take it back so I think you need to fight to find some gratitude. 

Post # 12
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Is this really about the money? Or is it more about how sad you are that the wedding planning was unenjoyable and the wedding itself was less than ideal to you?

Post # 13
4416 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Step 1: Vent. Try to get all the negativity out. Do you feel any better now that you’ve written this? I hope so!

Step 2: Try to find ways to be positive, to fill up all that space that was taken up by negativity.

So let’s work on that.

Have you heard feedback from your wedding guests? Did they have a good time? Were your parents filled with incredible pride? Did your father cry a little when he first saw you in your wedding dress? You may not think you looked that great, but I’m sure your guests were blown away. I’ve never seen an ugly bride in my life.

Were family members happy to see each other after a long time, maybe even years, apart? Are there photos of happy guests smiling and enjoying themselves? Was the food good? Was there cake?

Even if your wedding was a total blur, it will come into focus a bit more with time. But if you look at it through a negative lens, that’s how it will eventually come into focus. Try instead to look at it through a positive lens. And maybe even put your dress back on to go to the courthouse and get married “for real.” Get some posed photos.

Don’t dwell on the things that didn’t go the way you’d like — instead try to be positive and maybe with time you’ll see the whole thing differently.

Post # 14
2453 posts
Buzzing bee

Gwendolyn88:  first question – do you HAVE to have a part 2 on the east coast? Is that just meeting with people for dinner and celebrating or are you actually planning something?

I would cancel that in a heart beat if so, your friends and fam will understand that you guys just need down time as a newly wed couple.


Second – i am really sorry you feel that way. Maybe in the future it will be something you can look back and laugh on together? I wouldnt feel so bad about not being able to visit with guests. Whenever i attend a wedding, i dont expect to hang out with the bride and groom. SOmetimes all you get is a quick hello or hug and congrats and thats it. Remember you barely saw them, but they saw you the whole time and I am sure enjoyed themselves.



Post # 15
525 posts
Busy bee

Annnnd, this is why I advocate having the wedding you truly want, not what you think you should have 🙁

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