Member[content moderated for name calling]
focus on the positive, as little as it seems there was..ask your guests if they had a great time etc. try and find something..
foreverlovex.
foreverlovex.
Memberi’m not a troll, and judging from some of the responses i’ve gotten here, my feelings about the wedding are not uncommon! i’m glad it’s over. although it was an ok day and my friends had an ok time, for me it was a waste of time and money. but yes, it’s over and done with, so now i just need to clean up any residual mess, send out thank you notes, and wipe my hands of the whole thing. i’m very much looking forward to getting back to life as usual.
we’ll do a little dinner on the 18th (our anniversary) and sign the paperwork.
and the east coast event is just a simple restaurant thing. i think i can use lessons learned from this first wedding to make that one better/easier. we’re just calling it a family reunion. i just get to wear the dress again, and my uncle is going to say a couple things.
thank you all for listening to me vent. your comments were very very helpful to help me put this fiasco behind me.
MemberI say this as somebody who hated wedding planning and wish I’d eloped. Be happy and grateful that you’ve found a life partner, that you are healthy and that you do not have real problems. To put things in perspective for you, ISIS is beheading children in Iraq and fighting continues in Gaza. I hear a small violin playing for you.
MemberMemberlol. yes, it’s a bit on the dramatic side, but definitely a good reminder to keep it in perspective. 🙂
MemberA marriage isn’t about the dress, the guests, the venue, the favours, the quotes, the tables, the bridesmaids, the food, the drink, the flowers or the other non essential things. It’s about two people publically promising to be each other’s husband and wife and to be true to each other. It’s also a legal transaction.
Go and sign the papers immediately or go down to the courthouse and simply get married. That is all that matters.
MemberI feel you. I’m a few months out, and still bitter. I wish I could tell you it gets better…
MemberAw, man this sucks… I really hope that I don’t feel that way. I am determined to have a ball! I have put in so much time and effort. In some ways, I am on the opposite side of the spectrum.
I never cared to have a giant wedding. In my first marriage, there was no wedding, no rings, nothing but signing papers. There was nothing to commemorate the day other than the beating I suffered at the hands of my now ex-husband the night that I got married, but that is a whole different story… No one was happy for us when they found out (he could not have been more wrong for me). It was like the day did not happen.
This time, I wanted all that I did not have before. Everyone is happy and excited about the wedding. I am looking forward to the party (despite the stress of planning). I also understand what you feel about the money. I, like most brides, went over budget. Yes, the money could have went to other things, but that is not the most important thing… I ironically posted about wasting money on weddings without having seen your post! The worst part of the situation is tht after all of that you are still not married?!
Yes, redo this situation with the second wedding or when you sign your paperwork. Please, don’t feel guilty about your guests. They get it! There is only so much time. Put the bad memories aside. The whole nonsense about every wedding is perfect and that brides don’t have any negative emotions about their weddings is just that, nonsense. Let it out, and move forward!
MemberGreat idea! Another ceremony might help.
I completely understand how it feels to hate your wedding.
Our elopement was awful and that is part of the reason we are renewing our vows.
The average cost of a wedding in North America is $25,000.
I know you spent a large amount but it could have been much worse.
MemberCould you sign your license at the “family reunion”? A way to sort of ‘make up for’ the last event? I think if you and your Fiance really think about it and talk about it you’ll be able to use this event as a do-over. Not trying to force upon you all the things you didn’t want originally, but you could even get a photographer for your reunion. It would make sense because you could get a heap of family photos done then too.
I’m sorry that it didn’t go well.
MemberAlso, check the laws in your state. I know in Virginia, if you state that you are husband and wife and put yourself out there as husband and wife, you are considered common-law married. (I was worried because our wedding in Virgnia wasnt going to be legal. We were going to get legally married on our honeymoon in Vegas. I was totally paranoid that one of us was going to die before we legally got married. I was happy to find out that we were common-law married during the interim.)
MemberThis post has the makings of a really good ironic and funny bit, though. The topper is that you aren’t even married, after all. Wha ta crock.
Ok, consdier this–you’ve got the best wedding story for parties than anyone else, for the rest of your life.
MemberI would never admit it to my family (who paid for it) but it was just NOT worth it.
MemberWait a minute! This is great news! This means that you have an opportunity to have the wedding you always wanted! Consider your marriage celebration as a social nicety that you paid a whole lot of moola for. Now…comes the good part. Decline part 2 of the torture and do something for you two and only you two. And sign your marriage certificate then please! 😉 I swear though, not everyone has a do over and you do so…take advantage of it!
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