(Closed) Stupid stupid wedding. What a complete and utter waste of time and money!!!!!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

[content moderated for name calling]

focus on the positive, as little as it seems there was..ask your guests if they had a great time etc. try and find something..

 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by  foreverlovex.
  • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by  foreverlovex.
Post # 48
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I say this as somebody who hated wedding planning and wish I’d eloped.  Be happy and grateful that you’ve found a life partner, that you are healthy and that you do not have real problems.  To put things in perspective for you, ISIS is beheading children in Iraq and fighting continues in Gaza.  I hear a small violin playing for you.  

 

Post # 49
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

 

mindycy1:  Well, shit, if the crisis in the Middle East is your barometer for problems, Weddingbee as a whole needs to shut down right this second.

Post # 51
Member
2971 posts
Sugar bee

A marriage isn’t about the dress, the guests, the venue, the favours, the quotes, the tables, the bridesmaids, the food, the drink, the flowers or the other non essential things.  It’s about two people publically promising to be each other’s husband and wife and to be true to each other.  It’s also a legal transaction.

Go and sign the papers immediately or go down to the courthouse and simply get married.  That is all that matters.

Post # 52
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I feel you. I’m a few months out, and still bitter. I wish I could tell you it gets better…

Post # 53
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Aw, man this sucks… I really hope that I don’t feel that way. I am determined to have a ball! I have put in so much time and effort. In some ways, I am on the opposite side of the spectrum.

I never cared to have a giant wedding. In my first marriage, there was no wedding, no rings, nothing but signing papers. There was nothing to commemorate the day other than the beating I suffered at the hands of my now ex-husband the night that I got married, but that is a whole different story… No one was happy for us when they found out (he could not have been more wrong for me). It was like the day did not happen.

This time, I wanted all that I did not have before. Everyone is happy and excited about the wedding. I am looking forward to the party (despite the stress of planning). I also understand what you feel about the money. I, like most brides, went over budget. Yes, the money could have went to other things, but that is not the most important thing… I ironically posted about wasting money on weddings without having seen your post! The worst part of the situation is tht after all of that you are still not married?! 

Yes, redo this situation with the second wedding or when you sign your paperwork. Please, don’t feel guilty about your guests. They get it! There is only so much time. Put the bad memories aside. The whole nonsense about every wedding is perfect and that brides don’t have any negative emotions about their weddings is just that, nonsense. Let it out, and move forward!

Post # 54
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

FutureDrAtkins:  

Great idea! Another ceremony might help. 

Gwendolyn88:  

I completely understand how it feels to hate your wedding.

Our elopement was awful and that is part of the reason we are renewing our vows. 

The average cost of a wedding in North America is $25,000.

I know you spent a large amount but it could have been much worse.

Post # 55
Member
3638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Could you sign your license at the “family reunion”? A way to sort of ‘make up for’ the last event? I think if you and your Fiance really think about it and talk about it you’ll be able to use this event as a do-over. Not trying to force upon you all the things you didn’t want originally, but you could even get a photographer for your reunion. It would make sense because you could get a heap of family photos done then too. 

I’m sorry that it didn’t go well.

Post # 56
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Gwendolyn88:  Ugh, so sorry they day was such a diappointment for you. I guess the lesson learned is to pause and ask yourself if something is what you really want or what society tells you that you should want (have a friend with an ex-h that she had a child with, now it is apparent that he really didnt want the child, but society was telling him that he should…) Learn to listen to your gut!

Also, check the laws in your state. I know in Virginia, if you state that you are husband and wife and put yourself out there as husband and wife, you are considered common-law married. (I was worried because our wedding in Virgnia wasnt going to be legal. We were going to get legally married on our honeymoon in Vegas. I was totally paranoid that one of us was going to die before we legally got married. I was happy to find out that we were common-law married during the interim.)

Post # 57
Member
3617 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

Gwendolyn88:  ah sweetie, that is too bad.

This post has the makings of a really good ironic and funny bit, though. The topper is that you aren’t even married, after all. Wha ta crock.

Ok, consdier this–you’ve got the best wedding story for parties than anyone else, for the rest of your life.

Post # 58
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Royal Park Hotel

handincookiejar:  Oh honey you and I are one in the same…right down to us both getting married in February. 50 guests and barely being able to fit into the dress.  I looked terrible in my dress because I was too big for it.  All profile pics of me I seriously look pregant and stuffed like a sausage.

I would never admit it to my family (who paid for it) but it was just NOT worth it.

Post # 59
Member
2774 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Wait a minute! This is great news! This means that you have an opportunity to have the wedding you always wanted! Consider your marriage celebration as a social nicety that you paid a whole lot of moola for. Now…comes the good part. Decline part 2 of the torture and do something for you two and only you two. And sign your marriage certificate then please! 😉  I swear though, not everyone has a do over and you do so…take advantage of it!

Post # 60
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

Gwendolyn88:  I was afaid of exactly what you are talking about.  I get stressed VERY easily, and I am on a strict budget.  So we have decided we are having a ceremony with only 4 other people and the Preacher, on a historical landmark (free to use) called Coleman Hill over looking the city (my hometown) of Macon Georgia.  We couldnt afford to do a wedding AND a honeymoon, so we chose the honeymoon.  My dress was $150 and my shoes less than $15 on ebay. I got so stressed about even planning anything more. I hate that you have regrets. but try hard not to look back and give advice to your friends about how NOT to overdo it! 

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