(Closed) Success Stories Using Mr. Bees 3 Step Plan

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

yes I do! Well, I’m not engaged yet, but I am in a position I NEVER thought I would be a few months ago, and we are well on the way to getting a ring on my finger! I just stopped mentioning it and even started changing the subject when he brought it up (which was SOOOOO hard)… I think it’s good for your own mental health as well haha.

Post # 4
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Nope unfortunately. : I brought it up a few times at the beginning of the year, then stopped completely and I don’t think I’m any closer now than I was in January. I didn’t bring it up for years either which is why we’re at 6 years together and nothing. I think this plan only works with a certain type of guy. 

Post # 5
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree it only works for a certain type of guy. And I also think it depends on where your relationship is now, and if you are living together. I live with my boyfriend and he’s not necessarily the type to get things done quickly. So pressure from me and others has sped things up more than compared to just living for myself and hoping he figures it out. That said, it is possible to still use Mr. Bee’s plan when living together, but I think it depends on the situation. It’s always healthy to take care of yourself and do things just for you- regardless if they are done to motivate a proposal. Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

@Taylor4: It depends on how old your guy is. Some guys take a while to get there. You may have been dating for 6 years but if you started when you were in high school, he might not be ready to marry at 23 or 24. I wish you good luck.

Post # 7
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

wat is Mr. Bees 3 step plan?  I’ve never heard of that

Post # 8
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@MapleMoose: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/mr-bees-three-step-plan-and-backup-plan-for-getting-engaged

 @happyb: I’m not engaged so it’s too early to tell if it’s a success with regard to getting engaged ๐Ÿ™‚

One thing I will say is that I got pretty frustrated/impatient/emotional for awhile, and at the other side of that pain and craziness I found a state of mind where Mr Bee’s plan just happens naturally. At a certain point you burn out on all of it, accept what you can’t control and just focus on yourself again. It seems other Bee’s have had this experience as well. I’ve decided to call this the “Waiting Cycle”.  It goes something like this:

1)Urgency/excitement about engagement.

Syptoms: picking out bridesmaids, dresses, rings, making spreadsheets, adding to your secret wedding folder and talking about engagement/marriage non-stop.

2)Emotional pain/feelings of rejection.

Symptoms: angry outbursts at your SO, crying, depression, inability to stop thinking “what’s wrong” with you/your relationship, why hasn’t he proposed?, people keep telling you “what’s the rush” and you just want to punch them in the face….

3)Uncertainty/Apathy. 

Symptoms: abrupt lack of interest in looking at bridesmaid’s dresses, toying with the idea that perhaps he’s not “the one” or you might not be a match since he clearly doesn’t have the same goals/timelines for marriage as you do, thinking that weddings/marriage may be more trouble than they’re worth at this point, thinking that moving/moving in would be a pain in the ass so you should enjoy living separately for as long as you can,  air of independence,  going to the gym every day and seeing your friends more often (some of Mr Bee’s steps) feel very natural and not at all like a “Plan”

So my success is that I’m working out more. Seeing friends more often. Cooking at my lovely little apartment more often.  Getting back into journaling. Getting a break from the constant obsession and feeling bad. I don’t feel hurt anymore! Maybe just for this week and then the cycle will start again ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 9
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@DreamingBee: I think you are right on about that waiting cycle! I find myself between phase 2 and 3 right now..

Post # 10
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

@DreamingBee:  Well said!!!  I totally agree with your description of the Waiting Cycle.  I’m currently somewhere between stages 2-3, (I find myself going back and forth often).

not fun.

Post # 11
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Yeah I am with you Dreamingbee – I have done MrBee’s plan, gotten frustrated, gotten upset, felt unloved, been honest, then gone back onto the plan.

I have been concentrating on myself a bit more – I go to the gym more often (doubles as a bonus because when it eventually happens, I will be fitter!) and see my friends more, and I have actually said no to doing things with the boy when he asks and putting myself first.

I dont know if MrBees plan is for everyone, but I think he has some good points on not nagging. We recently had a very honest conversation and he told me I wouldnt be waiting forever and that he would ask “soon” so as insanse as I can drive myself, I have a deadline of November, and if it hasnt happened by November (our anniversary) then I will go in for another chat about it. But I certainly dont ask him every day!

Post # 12
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee

@DreamingBee: Yep. It’s a cycle. Sometimes it’s daily. But it is definitely a cycle.

Post # 13
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

At a certain point you burn out on all of it, accept what you can’t control and just focus on yourself again.

SO true Dreamingbee! A few months ago I got to a point where I was just like, sh*t or get off the pot.LOLI also had a deadline in mind and got to work, working out and if it got to the leaving point, I need to be in tip top shape again.LMAO Sounds bad, but it’s true. Thankfully he told me what yr we are getting married, so I can remove the deadline!

Post # 14
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

@DreamingBee: Thanks for posting the link to the 3-step plan.  You learn something new everyday.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 15
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I’m glad it’s not just me who goes through the “cycle”….

 @MsMamaBear:  I went through a pretty bad breakup, but made sure to take care of myself and when he unmercifully dumped me (this was awhile ago….) I looked better than I ever had in my life.  Thanks to my own self-care.  And now with my current Boyfriend or Best Friend I’m still getting in better shape than at the beginning.  In fact, for the last 2+ years, I’ve been progressing in terms of physical fitness. More than my guy, he used to have visible abs muscles, and now he doesn’t. Well, most people have a tendency to “coast” when in relationships. It just best not to be that person…On the optimistic side, you’ll be in fine shape for the wedding. Worse-case scenario, you’ll leave the relationship in better shape than when you started it.  You’ll look hotter.  Not a bad place to be ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 16
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

oh my goodness DreamingBee! That cycle is so true!! Glad to know I’m not the only one!

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