(Closed) Such Anxiety…There will never be enough money. :(

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Would you be open to getting a CZ ring for now, and possibly upgrading in the future? Or just getting a CZ ring and sticking with that? A lot of them look like real diamond rings, and they definitely look like engagement rings! (At least, they do to me! But I have an “alternative” ring, and I do field questions about whether it’s a “real engagement ring” occasionally.)

Perhaps you could show him some options that you like (some of the CZ sites are really cheap — Berricle and emitations come to mind) and you guys could make a potential budget for the wedding you want. You could figure out where you would get married and how much everything would cost, and then start putting money away a bit at a time. That might make it feel more manageable and you could have a definite timeline for when there WILL be enough money!

Good luck! My Fiance was procrastinating a bit because he didn’t know what kind of ring I wanted…once I told him “I don’t care, just get me something under $50 from etsy,” I got a proposal within a month!

Post # 5
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

Get a moissanite. 

Post # 7
6458 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Ceyx54:  I think the idea of the custom made ring is great!  I know what you mean about explaining that it’s an engagement ring…but honestly, I have a diamond and people don’t really ASK about it.  If I raise my hand and it catches the light, they’ll MAYBE comment…but usually it’s within the context of a conversation about our upcoming wedding.  

I don’t know what your style is, but this peridot ring does look engagement-y…it’s “only” $859, too!!!

Post # 9
6458 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Ceyx54:  Go alone or with a friend.  Say, “My boyfriend wanted me to try on some rings that cost around $xxx, just to see what I liked.  Could I try on some rings, and write down the information on the ones I love?” 

I did that with wedding bands at a few stores, just to see what I liked.  

Post # 10
538 posts
Busy bee

agree with peachacid – go with a friend to try on rings – there’s much less pressure to buy a ring when it’s not your fiance with you. 

Purchasing a loose diamond and having it set in the custom setting could definitely be cheaper. You could also try the Ultra Diamond outlet – right after Fi proposed, we passed by the Ultra Diamond outlet in NY and they were having a sale. The same ring that he had purchased through Amazon was on sale in Ultra Diamond, and cheaper than the price he had paid. 

This is the link to the first picture peachacid provided: http://www.amazon.com/Sterling-Silver-Round-Cubic-Zirconia/dp/B005VDRKY0/ref=sr_1_1?s=jewelry&ie=UTF8&qid=1343095719&sr=1-1&keywords=cz+engagement+rings

They do carry it in a size 4 – and you can look at the real person picture in the uploaded customer images. I also have this ring (although I just sent it back to be exchanged for another size) and it does look like an engagement ring (I purchased it as a substitute ring, one I can wear if I go to a crowded concert or something and am scared of something happening to my ring) I can take a picture of what it looks like when I get the new ring and upload it here for you if you’d like. 

Also, Amazon allows you to specify your search by ring size, and they have a large selection of CZ engagement rings in size 4: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_nr_p_n_feature_twelve_b_4?rh=n%3A3367581%2Cn%3A%213880591%2Cn%3A16014541%2Cn%3A3890311%2Ck%3Acz+engagement+rings%2Cp_n_feature_nine_browse-bin%3A5408594011%2Cp_n_feature_twelve_browse-bin%3A5408654011&bbn=3890311&keywords=cz+engagement+rings&ie=UTF8&qid=1343095707&rnid=5408649011

Have you considered an Asha CZ or an Amora Moissanite, or even waiting until the Amora Gem comes out? (Supposedly in the fall) Or perhaps purchasing a vintage ring? (you can find them online or in pawn shops)

I also saw this on etsy once, a seller was selling glass stones that could be set in rings, (like these http://www.etsy.com/listing/91569716/vintage-orange-glass-gems?ref=sr_gallery_18&ga_search_query=glass+gems&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=ZZ&ga_min=0&ga_max=0&ga_search_type=vintage)

Perhaps you could ask your artist friend if there is a way to make a green glass gem (glass originating from sand from the beach where your Fi was born) to set in the custom setting?

Post # 11
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

This is my take, and it is alot different than others, many people will not agree with me. But if you do, how you go about explaining your SO of it, is an entirely different matter.

In life, if we always waited until there was “enough” money, it wouldn’t happen. Many people put off having children until there is “enough” money, and 5 to 7 years go by, they are approaching 40 and no children, and now its “do we want children at this age.”

Another example, I want to take my son, my SO’s daughter, and the two of us to Disney World in the Spring, sure its expensive and we can’t really terribly afford. But if we waited until there was “enough” money, it would be years & our children would be out of the stage of life & all 4 of us would miss that experience. So instead of crossing it off the list, we are opting for cheaper options, to make the package as cheap as possible.

There will never be “enough” money for anyone. Because as soon as there is “enough” money, we find a plan, a use, for it. And we are yet again in the same situation, waiting for “enough” money to do this or that.

Post # 13
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@flowersandfaerydust:  I’m with ya 🙂

OP, it sounds like the ring is very important to you. Is your SO able to save anything at all toward your engagement ring? How do you feel about your job search – is it likely that you’ll be able to contribute to be household so that he can save more toward your ring? How much will it cost for him to record the album?

Sorry for all of the questions – I just feel like you need to be realistic about your timeline vs. the amount of funds that your SO can actually save toward the ring that you want. If he literally has no way to save because all of his money is going somewhere else, then you might need to understand that a CZ or plain band will suffice. It sounds like your jeweler friend has a great plan, but it also sounds relatively spendy – will you pay the jewelery designer? Have you checked out loose diamond prices?

I would just hate for you to wait and wait and wait for more money to come in, because itnsounds like you’re already frustrated with the timeline. What if no money comes in, and you’re still waiting? 

Post # 14
6 posts

@Ceyx54:  I think that as long as the relationship is progressing nicely, you don’t have to be too worried that a proposal won’t happen. It does sound like you’re on the marriage track. I wonder if it would be too much if you talked about the ring with him. I don’t know your relationship, but my bf and I have openly discussed the ring – how much it’ll cost, what we have to sacrifice to get it, etc. I try not to nag him about it or discuss it all the time (even though I’m obsessed lol), but it’s definitely not the pink elephant in the room. If you feel you can talk to him about the ring, talk realistically about what it will take to get it. Maybe he just needs a little nudge to start saving for it? Maybe one or both of you needs to get a part-time job to help cover more expenses? Just ideas.

Edit – Blue Nile is a great place to buy rings at a lower cost. They buy a LOT of diamonds, and have no overhead costs, so you get more bang for your buck.

Post # 15
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Ah I hate money! My SO is the same about money. It’s the only thing holding us back. He talks about where he wants to be financially when he gets engaged and I have a feeling that will never come. I wanna talk to him about it and make sure he is being realistic.

Good luck!

Post # 16
114 posts
Blushing bee

@Ceyx54:  You could also check out pawn shops, if you’re brave enough. My sister found a lovely real diamond e-ring and wedding band for just a few hundred dollars. It was soooooo much cheaper than buying new. They shopped together, and found something they liked that was in their budget. Actually, I think they could have afforded something substantially more expensive, but they both are very frugal about jewelry and instead prioritized spending their money elsewhere – like the wedding or their next vacation!

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