(Closed) Such Anxiety…There will never be enough money. :(

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Money is always an excuse.  Try to figure out a way to let him know that you want to be with him with or without the money.  Poor people get married and have kids every day with little to no worry about how expensive it all is.

Is he going to use it as an excuse for other things as well?  Money is the biggest excuse used by men to put off having kids.  So you may end up waiting on a lot more things than a ring and vows.

Post # 18
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@memo:  Sounds just like my situation– arrggh!! Waiting to see if his business takes off. . . urk. I actually said to him that I’m not waiting indefinitely for some goal that will never materialize (though I didn’t say it quite that way, which makes it soud like I’m insulting his business endeavor)!

If they’re happy living with us and there is some way to save a little for a ring, then WHAT is the big problem? 

Anyway, the thing is, if money is a problem, then before deciding to get a ring, you need to figure out where the money to get it is going to come from. So miserable when money is tight and one partner is unemployed– I went through this last winter. Things WILL get better, though– ceyx54, I would say to keep plugging on looking for a job, unless there is a reason you can’t/shouldn’t have a job. It takes a while these days and is a huge amount of work, but that seems to me like it would be the best practical solution to your problem. And in the meantime, all the resources the PPs have suggested for finding a relatively inexpensive engagement ring look great to me!

Post # 20
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You could always get one at a pawn shop or an estate sale at your local jewelers.  My daughter just got engaged in January, she’s only 18.  He bought her a ring that did not look at all like an engagement ring.  I told her to be honest and they went back and got a very pretty solitaire – estate *meaning it was owned before* mine is also estate.  They got it for around 200 bucks and it is beautiful!  It’s not the biggest ring or the thickest gold, but it is beautiful.

Post # 21
Member
3329 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@whydoesithurt:  such good advice and it’s like the ring has a new lease of life and a new story.

Post # 23
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@flowersandfaerydust:  Well said.

I would have LOVED to have a grand wedding— but it wasn’t worth waiting for 2-3 years to me to have the wedding of my dreams. We had a smallish wedding and cut lots of corners.  We were sad to have to compromise some things- but in the end- I’m soooo glad I didn’t wait and wait and wait.  We have wonderul memories of the day, fab pictures and we’re married. 

I guess in the end you have to decide— is it worth waiting for financial security to have the ring/wedding that you have dreamt about. (And there’s no shame in that.  Everyone has different priorities) OR is it more important to be married with a more modest ring/ wedding.  You have to decide what the two of you want to do…. and live with it either way. 

Post # 24
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My SO’s first priority is paying his student debt (understandable) I’m still in school and will be for 4 years, but we have a basement apartment in my Mom’s house. She encourages us to get married while living here. I think once he has his debt paid off we’ll have a more clear view on when things will happen. I think I’ll use the line “we’re supposed to be together for richer or poorer.”

My Mom said she would pay for the wedding, so we’d just need a ring. Although I wouldn’t want to spend a lot on a wedding anyways.

 

Post # 25
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Moisanite all the way says a newly engaged former Waiting Bee. I’m watching mine sparkle right now!

Post # 26
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My fi and I had a choice, we could go to europe for three months or i could have a big awesome ring.  We chose to go to europe, and he proposed to me in paris with his grandmother’s ring.  It is not the ring i would have picked out in the store but it is beautiful and i love it.  My point is the ring doesnt matter, your relationship is what matters.  Is there a family ring he could use to propose?

Post # 27
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee

@Ceyx54:  I know you wrote this months ago, but I do feel your pain.  My SO wants to have about 30,000.00 saved up for a wedding and honeymoon…EXCUSE ME?!?!?  who the heck needs THAT?  He also thinks we shouldn’t have kids until after we have 50,000.00 in the bank.  WHAT?  Okay, I’m 30, and this just seems impossible.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for having money in the bank and being stable, but these dollar amounts are very astronomical 🙁  good luck.

Post # 28
Member
10210 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Jewlery TV has a CZ line called Bella Luce that are gorgeous & very affordable, I have one for $40 and another for $15 (auction).  They have a really large selection as well.  Jtv.com.

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