Post # 1
Hi Bees, need your advice on this one. My lovely SO wants me to visit his family with him over Christmas. Initially, I enthusiastically agreed but then I looked up the price of the tickets and they were about $700. I am just starting my career and don’t really want to spend that amount of money on a plane ride. He said we would talk about it when I got home from work tonight. Do you guys think I should suck it up and pay the money? Or should I suggest that he goes solo and I stay home since it will only be a 3 day trip. I know you can’t really put a price on spending time with family but it just seems like a hefty price to pay for such a short trip. I just don’t want his family thinking that I am a cheapo. Also, asking for him to pay for it is just not an option. He is generous but he is also just starting his career and I would never want someone to spend that amount of money on me. Also important to mention- he travels for work and is gone ~150 days of the year so we like to spend as much time as we can together when he is not traveling.
Post # 2
Is it possible to stay longer than three days?
I’d personally suck it up if the expense wouldn’t cause you any real hardship. I can’t really imagine a relationship working out in the long term if one person consistently refused to visit the other’s family because they were too far away.
Post # 3
$700 is a lot of money! Talk to him more about the logistics of traveling there. Maybe he knows of a flight route that would be cheaper. If the town is smaller, you might be better off flying to the big airport and then driving to your destination. Does he fly a lot for work? He might be able to transfer some frequent flyer miles to you to help with the cost.
There has to be a more economical way of traveling there. If it’s too costly for either of you to pay for the whole trip, perhaps you could split your travel cost.
Post # 4
Have you met the family before?
Have you spent holidays together before?
I’d do it since it’s pretty special to spend a holiday with family if you’re in a serious relationship. I know that’s not an insignificant amount of money, but it would make me question where the relationship falls on your priorities if you are able to afford it and just don’t want to spend that. If you honestly can’t afford it and still pay your bills, then you can’t and that’s understandable.
Post # 5
I would suggest a trip together later in the year when you’ve had more time to save and the cost of flights has gone down. If finances are tight right now, it’s a significant expense. Plus you have to consider how much you’re already planning to spend on gifts for loved ones.
Post # 6
I would consider spending it on a husband or serious live in boyfriend but other scenarios I would just sit it out and try to visit during a different time that is cheaper. I am frugal and this will be my first time flying to see my husbands parents around the xmas holidays. It would have been over $600 for each person to fly there on xmas weekend but only $280 for other weekends in December so we agreed to visit 2 weeks before xmas to save money. His parents did not seem to mind. We can still enjoy the Christmas spirit because its still December.
If he offers to pay your ticket I think that would be fine too!
Post # 7
If he travels for work, does he have points or air miles he could use to purchase both your tickets?
Post # 8
For $700 for 3 days.. I’d pass. Id go another time when I have more vacation time to spend there and flexibility to get cheaper flights.
Post # 9
daisylover77 : It’s a long time until Xmas… you need to look at tickets in early November, not now! The prices will generally drop. Also make sure you check out the redeye flights no one wants. Are you traveling overseas and/or to another country? I ask because me flying home from a small local airport to an international one is usually about 600 and that’s a 2000 mile journey in the same country. I don’t see how it could be more expensive than that!
Post # 10
Definitely check other routes! If you’re in a hub city, then pick a different airline, or if you are looking at nonstop, try from a nearby smaller airport!
Post # 11
Keep checking the flights to see if prices drop. If you do your due diligence and keep looking for a cheaper flight but none appear, your SO should understand. $700 for 3 days is insane.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t spend $700 for 3 days. I would watch to see if it goes down (or if there is a cheaper airport you can fly to and drive a reasonable distance) but unless it’s a pretty drastic drop I just wouldn’t be comfortable spending that amount of money.
My husband and I always split up for Christmas while dating. There are less expensive times of the year to meet family.
Post # 13
Keep checking flights. Is there any way you could do the trip earlier or a couple of weeks later? Tickets may be much cheaper. Or could you fly to a different airport and turn it into a roadtrip the rest of the way by renting a car?
I don’t think his family will think you are cheap. That’s a lot of money for someone just starting out. But I do think you should go if you can.
Post # 14
How long have you been dating? How serious are you guys? Does his family expect you to come and have you met them before? I wouldn’t do this for someone I had been dating less than a year, but If I was nearing engagement or had been dating several years I would, especially if I had not yet met his family or would have limited oppertunity to in the future
Post # 15
If you cant easily spend $700 on this, then skip it.
If it is important to meet his family and get to know them, Christmas hell may not be the best time for that.