(Closed) Sucky situation to be in…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Im sorry you are stressed. But know you are not alone in having selfish feelings when something comes up. even if it is with something so serious.  its human nature. my fi and i are in the middle of a custody battle with his ex and their 8 year old daughter. I too was worried about our wedding and money and how this was gonna take away from “our special time”.. but eventually i calmed down. i got some really great advice from my mom, she said that if i can stand by him now that it will only make our love stronger and it will make him love me even more knowing that i stand by him. well she proably worded it better! it will work out.

Post # 5
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would have positive thoughts about him overcoming the cancer, and if something does happen, cross that bridge when you come to it. It’s natural to be concerned about your wedding; it’s a big deal!

As far as him feeling bad his parents can’t be there, have you considered something like this: http://www.idostream.com/index.html

Post # 6
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You certainly don’t sound selfish to me.  In fact, a lot of what you said sounds very gracious (considering taking your father-in-law in, for instance).  I just wanted to affirm that your worries and difficult feelings are justified: your wedding is a big deal, and you are absolutely allowed to care about it.

Post # 9
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m so sorry about your Future Father-In-Law.

Basically, I would play it by ear. You dont know about their life insurance situation, their savings, home ownership, pensions, etc. Your Future Mother-In-Law may be well off if your Future Father-In-Law passes. She also may not want to live with you guys. Same for your Future Father-In-Law. Worrying about this will cause so much stress, so go day by day and worry about the important things- your FI’s mental health during this process.

Post # 10
Member
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I know my situation is different but just to give you some hope… My grand-father has had Leukemia for 25 years now. And sometimes it’s been harder to control than other times but he is doing really well. He also has heart disease (has had Quadruple bypass surgery), COPD, glaucoma (now legally blind) and skin cancer all during this time as well. The chemo he receives has always been helpful and hasn’t has horrible side effects. So if I had to bet I would say your Future Father-In-Law will make it out ok. It’s still stressful though and doesn’t make the situation any easier.

If I were in your shoes I would sit down and have a good long talk with Fiance. I would tell him I would do what he feels most comfortable with in regards to his new family circumstances and the wedding. If it was my Fiance, he would probably want to make it possible for his parents to be present and I would do whatever I had to do to make it possible, even if it meant cancelling my big wedding and traveling and doing something much smaller with immediate family. But that’s just me and not everyone will feel the same and your Fiance may not want that either.

As far as preparing for the care of Future Father-In-Law, I wouldn’t worry about that just yet. I would take that as it comes.

Post # 13
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

im glad you feel better! thats what the bees are for!

The topic ‘Sucky situation to be in…’ is closed to new replies.

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