Post # 1
A guy I’m seeing has a sister in her 20’s and she is a homebody. They live together as their parents have separated and moved hours away. He feels like he is tip-toeing around his own house to not upset her. She gets angry/upset when he leaves to go out somewhere, she doesn’t like to be alone.
They have plenty of pets to keep her company and she works a part-time job. She has started being funny about him leaving the house since I came on the scene a month ago. We think she thinks he is going to leave her because of me and she is scared of being alone. She only have one girlfriend and has never had a boyfriend.
Is there anything I can do to help? I’m writing a list of activities we could do to get her out of the house (beach, camping, shopping) but if we ask if she wants to come she always says no. I suggested to him maybe someone else moving in (not me) or her getting a full time job?
I’m 21 and I’m not sure what a 28 year old would be interested in doing for fun let alone hang out with me! If anyone has any ideas that would be great!
<br />Thanks in advance.
Post # 2
She may be perfectly content staying home. I don’t think the problem is with her being home, I think it is with her seemingly possessive attachment to her brother and lack of friends despite an expressed interest in not being alone. To me (a homebody and introvert myself- I have lived in my current city for one year and don’t know anyone other than the people I work with and my husband’s friends, and I’m perfectly okay with that), she is either a person with interest in socializing but lacking the ability or know-how to go about doing it, or she is not interested in knowing other people and holds some strange attachment to her brother.
The best suggestion I can think of is to get her to talk to someone. She may be having issues dealing with being far from her other family members, or perhaps something else is going on. An additional suggestion is to have your boyfriend set aside time to spend with, sort of like a standing date but obviously not in a weird way lol. That may help alleviate her issue with feeling like he is making his way out of her life.
Post # 3
Sounds like maybe she has anxiety about socializing and leaving the house. Having her brother there probably gives her comfort and she gets extremely nervous (irrationally) when he leaves. He might in the meantime, need to have a sit down talk with her about geting some help. Seems like its not so much you that worries her, it’s her being alone in general.
In the meantime, keep inviting her, seriously. She’ll start to feel more comfortable and build trust with you. You could also plan for some game night or something in the house and ask her to invite her friend as well so she starts to feel comfortable. Best of luck! 🙂
Post # 4
You guys have only been dating for a month, right? She probably takes longer to warm up to people. She’ll eventually feel more comfortable around you.
Why does she need to get out of the house though? So she can come with you guys on your dates? I don’t know if bringing her along will help with her attachment to her brother.
She might not want to be alone, but she also really might not want to go out. Being a homebody isn’t a bad thing for a lot of people. I don’t think you can organise her to have a new roommate or a new job so you can get more QT with her brother.