Post # 1
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
So, this weekend I was grocery shopping and ran into the mother of a girl I used to be friends with in highschool.
Guys, we are talking about years and years ago that this girl and I were friends. We didn’t have a falling-out or anything we just went away to college and really just didn’t talk much. We have not talked in close to 7 years. FYI: this girl is not invited to the wedding.
Anyway, I was expecting to just say hello and then continue on shopping. Well, she starts going on and on about how her daughter told her I was getting married and showed her the ring and everything on facebook and how she was just so excited and could not wait to get her invitation. I politely told her that I was so sorry but that we were having a small wedding and really could only invite family and close friends but that I was so touched that she was interested in our wedding.
I thought that this was going to be it and we would both walk away from a very awakward situation.
But, then she started to cry. Yes, a grown woman crying in the grocery store. She said that she was just looking forward so much to coming to the wedding and that she could not imagine not seeing me get married and just being hysterical.
I was at such a loss of what to do. I tried to console her by saying that I really didn’t mean to leave anyone out of the wedding it was just we both come from such big families that we cannot really invite anyone who is not family. But, she just would not stop. Eventually I just said again I’m sorry and walked away and left the store.
I am in such shock still by this experience.
Her daughter e-mailed me later that night and said how sorry she was that I had to deal with that and that she in no way told her mother that they were going to be invited or anything like that and just went on to say that her mother has always been a person who cried when she did not get her way and that I should not feel guilty about this at all. (This was uncomftorable for me too, listening to this girl I don’t know anymore tell me this issues with her mom crying and guilting her all the time).
How would you have hanlded this situation? Did I do something wrong?
Post # 3
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
@March1stBride: Gosh, that does sound super awkward!I can’t imagine what that woman was thinking, I feel bad for her daughter – for having to put up with that for her whole life and the embarassment of having to apologize to you. I think you handled it as graciously as possible, though!
Post # 4
Member
2421 posts
Buzzing bee
I think you handled it correctly. The person you haven’t talked to in 7 years and expects to be invited to your wedding is the one who is a touch out of line.
Post # 5
Member
3683 posts
Sugar bee
You didn’t do anything wrong. It sounds like your old friend’s mom is a couple of bananas short of a bunch.
Post # 6
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@March1stBride: I think you handled it pretty well. And I think that the girl probably just didn’t want you to feel like you had to or guilty and just overexplained herself (I do this too when I feel flustered). Something about weddings brings the crazy out of all of us (some more so than others)
Post # 7
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
@March1stBride: I think you handled it beautifully. And I’m sorry you had to deal with that, especially in public! WOW!
Post # 8
Member
843 posts
Busy bee
@March1stBride: Maybe she’s full swing into menopause or something lol cause that isn’t normal behaviour…
Post # 9
Member
3947 posts
Honey bee
Woman sounds likes a whack. I wouldn’t have handled it any differently. You did nothing wrong.
Post # 10
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
@March1stBride: sounds like there are some mental issues there. You handled it perfectly.
Post # 11
Member
3200 posts
Sugar bee
@March1stBride: OMG no you were completely in the right here! I was waiting to read that you caved, and I’m SO GLAD you didn’t! i would have just been like 0.0 ummmmm i’m sorry! and skittered away.
Post # 12
Member
2896 posts
Sugar bee
@March1stBride: I think you handled the situation perfectly. Honestly I don’t know what else you could have said. She was emotional for some reasons we might not know, it’s sad and awkward but you told her what needed to be told.
Post # 13
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
You definitely handled it correctly – it’s not your fault other people have issues with a capital “I”.
It absolutley baffles me when people you haven’t spoken to in ages expect a wedding invitation. It’s so strange!
Post # 14
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand
I think you handled it graciously! And although unnecessary, I also think it was sweet of her daughter to call you and explain the situation and try to make you feel less crappy about the situation. Not that you have ANY reason to feel guilty, it’s just easy to feel bad in situations like that.
Post # 15
Member
2534 posts
Sugar bee
Hello, fellow March 1st bride!
HERE’S THE DEAL.
Your guest list is set, you have 12 WEEKS until you get hitched (woo!) and this lady is crazy enough to cry like a small child in public when she doesn’t get her way.
There is NO WAY I’d feel guilty about not inviting her to the wedding!!
Imagine how she’d act if she didn’t get her way at your wedding!!
Like if everyone at all the cannolis before she got to the table, Waaaaaah!
We capped our guest list a while ago, even if someone asks we say “Sorry, it’s a small wedding (it’s not, really) we can’t fit any more people.” We don’t go out of the way to apologize, and I don’t feel bad about it because I hate it when people invite themselves places.
Honestly, in your shoes, I’d keep this woman (and her daughter) waaay out of my life and beeswax (i.e. unfriend on Facebook, block emails, rename phone #’s as “do not pick up” in my cell or block them)
You did the right thing – don’t feel bad!
Just try and laugh about it, because what the what?
Post # 16
Member
3266 posts
Sugar bee
@March1stBride: You were fine.
It sounds like this person has mental health issues, which the daughter is aware of.
Still sucks you had to deal with this though.
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