(Closed) Super awkward situation. What would you have done?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
10452 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Wow. She sounds bonkers. You handled it well, I don’t know what you could have done differently. 

Post # 18
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you handled it like a pro! Honestly, I’d give yourself a pat on the back for being gracious without caving!

Post # 19
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@March1stBride:  You didn’t do anything wrong. It is unfortunate that is happened but there is nothing you can do about it. I think you handled it well. You can’t invite people to your wedding just beause they throw a tantrum, especially a grown woman that you barely even know. Just put it behind you!

Post # 21
Member
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Wow! I don’t know what I would have done there! Yikes! Sounds like you handled it well!

Post # 23
Member
4697 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think her daughters follow-up email further confirms you did nothing wrong/ could not have done anything differently.

I do feel bad for her daughter though, having to deal with constant guilt trips.

Post # 24
Member
2530 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@March1stBride:  DATE TWIN!
Yup, 12 weeks! I was keeping track in months before, but realizing this weekend that I have 12 weeks motivated me to get moving, so I’ll count down in weeks now (yikes!)

I am excited but I have a TON on my plate still! So I’m mostly a big ball of stress. 
Not looking forward to how absolutely crazy everything is going to be for the next few months, hahaha!

You and I have similar “small weddings,” we’re inviting 130 people. I just like to pretend it’s only going to be 40 people hahaha

Post # 25
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@KC-2722:  +1

You handled it perfectly. I don’t think the email from the daughter was awkward though – I think she was just trying to make you feel less guilty about what happened and explaining her mother’s actions was the only was to do that.

Post # 26
Member
12671 posts
Honey Beekeeper

This woman obviously has issues and I think you handled the situation as well as you could have in the moment.  But since you are asking for advice and wondering if you did anything wrong, I will say I think it’s inappropriate to share  details of a wedding or engagement on Facebook in full view  of people  who will  not be invited to your wedding. Of course, I don’t know the extent to which you have posted wedding related info or talked about your plans. Personally, I’m hard core and wouldn’t even share ring photos with an unfiltered audience.  Actually, I would not share with anyone who didn’t ask to see, but that’s another topic. 

I realize that many, many  people do this today,  but IMO it’s no more considerate for being common. To me, it’s problematic in the same way as kids who talk about a birthday party in front of the one who was not invited. You can avoid a lot of unnecessary drama by the use of FB filters to limit the audience to your wedding related posts.

Actually, a  lot of people I know feel this way privately too, but would never tell you IRL.  Neither would I. They would  certainly not make a scene like this woman did. That was  terrible and it does sound as if she has major problems.

Post # 27
Member
4435 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@March1stBride:  How horribly awkward- first dealing with it in person, then over the phone! Yikes. I would have apologized like you did and slinked away in the store, then listened over the phone and been empathetic I guess- you handled it so well!! Ugh I hate those types of awkward situations when you just can’t get away.

Post # 28
Member
12246 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Woah! Lady be CRAZY.

On the bright side, her daughter reached out an appologized to you–so you know you didn’t do anything wrong and the daughter isn’t upset or insulted!

Post # 30
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@March1stBride:  OMG how awkward! I think you handled it as best as you could in that situation, I mean, she was the one being unreasonable after all. You could not have known that she would start crying!

 

I mean, it’s terrible that she just assumed they were invited in the first place, but if she is a grown up who throws tantrums/guilt trips, then I would bet money she mentioned it with the intention of  forcing you to invite her (assuming you would be too polite/embarrased to tell her she was not on the list in person.)

 

How awful! I would just forget about it and hope you don’t see her at the grocery again!

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