Super complicated engagement ring situation

posted 10 months ago in Rings
Post # 76
280 posts
Helper bee

Generally speaking, when someone hears your requests yet disregards them anyway by presenting you with something totally opposite in the same price range, it means they do not think your needs and desires matter.

Aside from finances being a factor of course, and in that case, it should be discussed beforehand…meaning if you want a Ferrari, and one can only afford a 20-year old Chevy, then nothing should be bought without discussion. This is a different case here.

Post # 77
4 posts
  • Wedding: September 2014

Our stories do have similarities. Definetly get the wed band you want and you don’t have to wear your ering, it won’t bother you as much if you love your wed band (plus band is easy to wear day to day). and sell the ring. Time goes by fast you will buy your dream ring one day. I wish you happiness! good luck!

p.s. post a pic of your ering n wed ring!

Post # 78
27 posts

Ladies, I’ve just been reading this thread and let me tell you, as a guy you’ve made me incredibly nervous! Lol. I sincerely hope I don’t screw up as much as the OPs other half, however I must say, us guys are pretty damn awful at this stuff (see my useless bf thread). I’ve read enough about rings to last me a life time. I honestly wish I could just chuck a gummy ring on that damn finger and be done with it, except I’m not looking to die just yet. I still however will screw up one thing and that was her request for the band to be plain and super thin, which speaking to ring makers, they all tell me not to do this as it can warp.

It’s a tricky one when it comes to rings (for me anyway). I’ve always had a max number that I’d be willing to spend  regardless of how much I make. It’s more of a principle thing as Im always thinking about London House prices and how that money could go to a deposit on a place , holidays, future kids etc.

Anyways, I’m rambling… Op he messed up. We all have ideal scenarios, and I’m sure you wish you got the perfect ring, but as you said, you’re both in tech, one day in the future when you’re both on your big salaries you’ll get a better one. And maybe one day you can look back on it and laugh. I know I did when I read what you wrote LOL (sorry had to put that in there) but my point is there’s more important things imo, and this can be rectified.

Sincerely yours,

An idiot from over the pond. 

Post # 79
1047 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@blues507:  scrap the whole ring. Try to sell it for even $100 and get a ring you like. You should pick it out. Trust me. As someone who started out with a moissanite she didn’t like…it will ALWAYS bother you until you get the ring you like. I think you mentioned (I read quickly, sorry!) that your fiancé doesn’t want you helping with cost but your finances will he combined anyway, no? Just get a ring you love. It’s the ONE piece of jewelry you should make sure to love since it’s your WEDDING ring and you’ll wear it forever!

Post # 80
46 posts

Don’t spend the money making something custom to match a ring that is not your forever ring! Maybe you can just wear a nice wedding band until you all save enough for your dream ring. 

I totally get the sentimental aspect of the ring for your fiance, but you should be able to have a candid conversation with him about the ring and how you would like to replace it in the future. He will be okay. 

Something similar happened to me with my Fiance (not him buying the exact opposite of what I wanted), and he was so supportive of working together to replace the ring he proposed with.

In the end, do what is going to work for you both and make you happy- you deserve it. 

Post # 81
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2002

What an awful situation, but I wouldn’t go through the expense of a custom wedding band. If you hate the engagement ring and want to get rid of it in the future, I would get the most beautiful wedding band then and just wear that until you can get an engagement ring you are happy with. There are many people who don’t get engagement rings until after they are married, so make him splurge for a great wedding band. Good luck.

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