(Closed) super emotional, need your help :(

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
661 posts
Busy bee

Sorry you are going through this, sounds tough 🙁

He said he is not IN LOVE with you, it’s unfair on you or him to stay together. You cant force love like that, I think he did the best thing for the both of you, by breaking it off. What I dont understand is WHY ASK YOU TO BE HIS WIFE, if he is not IN LOVE with you? What has happened from that moment until now (7 months) for him to no longer BE IN LOVE? Do you think he has cold feet? Going through an emotional crises? Did you discuss the break up and why he feels he is no longer inlove with you? Perhaps you should meet and talk, to at least get some closure and clarifiation.

Post # 4
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

i have been in a similar situation, ild say talk to him, it can’t hurt, try not to get too emotionally out of control during the convo.. you cant change his feelings but see what he has to say,

i would think it is probably unwise to marry someone who is not in love with you but loves you as he may not ever be compleatly furfilled and this may effect the relationship,

maybe suggest couples cancelling and work through how you both really feel about each other and why,

get a professional oppinion and see if theres anything to selvage 

Post # 5
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

Thats such a tough situation. I know there is always the whole love vs in-love situation but I think its more compicated then the answer always being “end the relationship” although that may be the right answer for you.  I think it is normal for relationships to fizzle out of the “butterflies in my stomach” phase and develop into something more genuine and natural.. I think a lot of people don’t know what to do when that phase comes upon them because they thought that amazing new feeling would never go away so that gives them doubts.  I don’t think couples can’t get back to that in love feeling when they have fallen out of love if they are committed and willing to work on things, a good open discussion can be good as well as counseling if you decide to work on things. But honestly, if my husband had told me something like that before we got married I would be heartbroken too.  Take some time to clear your head and then hear him out. Talking could either make you feel better about your relationship or atlease give you some sort of closure so you can move on. Hang in there~

Post # 7
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

You’re being really smart about this, I hope it works out for the best! Let us know what happens. 

Post # 8
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

(((Hugs)))

Talk to him….sit down together and calmly talk it through.

Post # 9
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

He can talk to you, but I don’t know what good it will do. He already told you how he feels, that he is not in love with you. You can’t really push someone to have those feelings for you and it really sounds like he dosn’t want you to go to Brazil with him and it dosn’t sound like he wants to marry you. I think you should move on. 

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