(Closed) super guilty

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i’m confused. he introduced his girlfriend by saying she’s a lesbian?

if you really want her to be a part of your day because of your relationship with her, then i would ask. but make sure you’re 100% convinced that regardless of what happens with the brother, you would still want her in your life!

Post # 4
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

How long will have they been dating? Do you think she’ll be around well, forever? Are you going to regret having her in almost every single picture a few years down the road if they break up or will you remain friends with her? All very important questions! Why do you feel like she needs to be part of the bridal party? Could she maybe do a reading or something less high profile?

Post # 5
Member
350 posts
Helper bee

If you are not sure about asking her, I think you are safe waiting a few months and seeing.  Your wedding is still like 10 months away.  It only takes a couple months to get the dresses and alterations.  If you feel like you are sure that you want to ask her, then just ask!

Post # 7
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It sounds like you feel obligated to ask her even if you’re not that close to her… that’s not really a good reason to ask her, in my opinion. Perhaps she could get ready with y’all the morning of without actually being a bridesmaid. Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I feel like bridesmaids are people who are REALLY important to you and you can’t imagine not having there. Just because you asked for permission doesn’t mean you have to ask her and if you don’t think you’ll be friends with her after, I wouldn’t want you to regret looking at your pictures thinking “I really wish I hadn’t asked her”.

Post # 9
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

When choosing my BM”s  I chose women that were close friends and very significant in my life.  When deciding who you are going to have to stand up with you during one of the biggest moments in your life, you should very much consider <span style=”text-decoration: underline;”>your relationship with her not if she is your FBIL’s girlfriend.  My FBIL’s wife is not in the wedding, because I am not close to her like that.

If you feel like you must include her; maybe have her do a reading or the gift table

Post # 11
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Well, why were you going to ask her?  If you were going to ask her out of guilt, and you never actually mentioned it to her, you have no obligation to ask her to do anything.  Gift table and guest book duty are more jobs than honors, so just have her attend as a guest.  Don’t worry about it.

Post # 13
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Glad to help!!

Post # 14
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wait and see, if you feel like she still needs to be a part of your day, then youll find a way to include her. Feeling obligated or guilted into including someone is never a good way to go about it.

Post # 15
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

i’m so confused if she likes girls then why is she with him?  Sounds like this relationship might have some trouble and I agree with not wanting her in the wedding pics after they split.

Post # 16
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m a bit confused as to her relationship with FI’s brother.  But aside from that, never feel obligated to include somebody you are not close to in your wedding.  If you’ve grown closer to her and want to include her, have her give a reading or be the guest book attendant. 

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